At times I really do wonder, should I be replying your texts,
even though it's school-related?
You could be asking some other people.
Why choose to make me think about all those times again by texting me instead?

I'll be honest, once more.

It already hurts seeing you in the company of others and not just the both of us like we used to.

Now, you're trying to make your way in when I'm with my own friends?

Please.
I'm leaving you alone.
Just cut off all ties with me now,
can't you?
Spare me from the memories.
Please.
I have no intention of being friends with you anymore.

News spread quickly you know.
I heard what you said about me.
And it's funny that people said that you won't ever bitch about me.
That you were so loyal.
That you were the most awesome friend I could ever have.
Well, explain this.
Bitched about once more,
I lost count.
It's all a lie.

It's ironic how the two of my closest friends,
are not my closest anymore.
In fact,
they are each other's closest now.

We had that relationship once.
Now, you choose to share it with her.

I don't need it anyway.

It's stupid still that I still feel down about this.
I just can't seem to let go.

Well, let me tell you the reason.
I treasure my friendships a whole damn lot.
I won't ever go against my friends.
'Cos they just are.
Friends are the ones who would comfort me when I'm at my worst,
as I would for them.
Friends are the one who would share my joy, whether minor or major,
as I would for them.
Friends would appreciate me as a friend,
as I would to them.
Friends will respect me and my interests,
as I will about theirs.
Friends will always be friends,
they won't ever judge them.

If you choose to get on my wrong side,
it's over.
Unless you're going to be totally sincere in apologizing.

And change.
Yes, change.

I admit.
I have my own flaws.
My mistakes.
My differences.
My opinions.

I'll respect yours if you respect mine.

As if you don't have your own flaws.
Your mistakes.
Your differences.
Your opinions.

And to clarify things,
I do remember all the good times.
Too clearly, in fact,
it rubs more salt to the wound,
adds fuel to the fire.

You were there when the fact that I might move to another state in an utterly unhappy condition last year came about.
I chose to tell you, and only you.
You were there during all those times when some people misunderstood our intentions,
and we survived through all that.
You were there during events,
when we would spend more time together,
even if we were already spending all of our time together.
You were there during late night calls,
we would talk like there's no end.

We were there when you were trying to get over a certain someone.
We were there when we were sharing our own personal problems.
We were there when we got criticized for our work.
We were there during those nerve-wrecking moments.
We were there doing what girls just do.

I was told to remember all of the good times I spent with you,
and to actually make the effort to reconcile with you.

Well, I'm sorry.
I can't do it.

Not with all the pretences and short-lived promises.
Never once fulfilled.

I did my part.
Don't bother replying.
If you do,
it's most probably all in the name of defending your own name,
instead of clearing things up.
And in the end,
I'll look like the bad guy once again!
Without fail!

I'm being super honest here.
What about you?

Jealous?
Frustrated?
Envious?
Disappointed?
Ashamed?

I felt them all.
All thanks to you.

Thank you very much.

4 comment(s):

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It’s not an English name I came up with for myself. My mother is indeed a genius in coming up with such a splendid name for me. Although my name has been unfortunately mutilated (nicknames are excluded) over the past years, full credits to my mum for my current identity.

I’m certainly looking forward to changing the word ‘patient’ to ‘survivor’! If you’re interested to read about my journey in battling lymphoma, you can click here to proceed to my cancer blog.

Ironic, I know; this blog is mainly pink instead. I like all colours actually, but I find myself having an affinity to the colour green. In fact, I can safely say that green is my soul colour.

Languages, music, fashion, photography, cultures, dance, literature, writing; just about anything, really. The arts truly intrigue me, especially thought-provoking pieces. Of course, the arts play a major role in inspiring me in my everyday life.

I don’t have a favourite genre – I read any book that interests me!

I am a trained right-hander from young, since apparently being left-handed is considered ‘wrong’. Basically, I’m ambidextrous! No wonder I find it easier to air guitar using my left hand than my right; I simply relate to the arts than subjects that deal with logical thinking better, too.

A stubborn Bull I am, too. I abhor being rushed. I prefer doing matters at my own reasonable pace. I don’t particularly like changes in my routine, but I can adapt quite easily. I’m a very practical person as well. I enjoy the beautiful things in life, but that doesn’t make me shun ugliness at all. Besides, it all depends on how one perceives beauty. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder!

Still am, but I’m slowly learning to accept imperfection into my life. Also, I’m doing my best to erase the many expectations I have so I could one day master the art of letting go and freeing myself to simple happiness and joy.

Compared to before, I’m less dramatic nowadays. Language-wise, I attempt to blog flawlessly in English and speak proper English online with my peers. Call me a Grammar Nazi all you want, but that’s how I roll. I only converse in perfect English in formal situations and during my dramatic outbursts. Otherwise, I’m absolutely capable of communicating like the average Malaysian!

It’s a different issue altogether when you’re forced to learn for the sake of getting good grades, though. Other than that, I’m open to new information and knowledge anytime! I especially would like to learn more languages and pick up new musical instruments.

…are just some of the things I would love to do in the near future, hopefully!

the basic rules apply. If you respect me, I’ll respect you. If you happen to be someone who has low EQ skills, I’ll try to be tolerant but my patience is definitely limited. I’m observant when it comes to human behaviour. I’m a person of many opinions, but I don’t voice them out unless I trust you enough; I’m very honest and candid when it comes to the people I can trust. Even though I trust very easily, not everybody can prove that they’re all that nice. Hurt me, and I’ll only defend myself if necessary. Hurt my family or my friends – you won’t find me holding back.

Is there anything else you would like to know about me?
Throw me your questions and/or doubts here! I honestly have nothing to hide, so you’ll expect the truth and nothing but the truth.

It’s only how I phrase my answers that you’ll have to be aware of.
Or…you can click hereto go back to reading!

At times I really do wonder, should I be replying your texts,
even though it's school-related?
You could be asking some other people.
Why choose to make me think about all those times again by texting me instead?

I'll be honest, once more.

It already hurts seeing you in the company of others and not just the both of us like we used to.

Now, you're trying to make your way in when I'm with my own friends?

Please.
I'm leaving you alone.
Just cut off all ties with me now,
can't you?
Spare me from the memories.
Please.
I have no intention of being friends with you anymore.

News spread quickly you know.
I heard what you said about me.
And it's funny that people said that you won't ever bitch about me.
That you were so loyal.
That you were the most awesome friend I could ever have.
Well, explain this.
Bitched about once more,
I lost count.
It's all a lie.

It's ironic how the two of my closest friends,
are not my closest anymore.
In fact,
they are each other's closest now.

We had that relationship once.
Now, you choose to share it with her.

I don't need it anyway.

It's stupid still that I still feel down about this.
I just can't seem to let go.

Well, let me tell you the reason.
I treasure my friendships a whole damn lot.
I won't ever go against my friends.
'Cos they just are.
Friends are the ones who would comfort me when I'm at my worst,
as I would for them.
Friends are the one who would share my joy, whether minor or major,
as I would for them.
Friends would appreciate me as a friend,
as I would to them.
Friends will respect me and my interests,
as I will about theirs.
Friends will always be friends,
they won't ever judge them.

If you choose to get on my wrong side,
it's over.
Unless you're going to be totally sincere in apologizing.

And change.
Yes, change.

I admit.
I have my own flaws.
My mistakes.
My differences.
My opinions.

I'll respect yours if you respect mine.

As if you don't have your own flaws.
Your mistakes.
Your differences.
Your opinions.

And to clarify things,
I do remember all the good times.
Too clearly, in fact,
it rubs more salt to the wound,
adds fuel to the fire.

You were there when the fact that I might move to another state in an utterly unhappy condition last year came about.
I chose to tell you, and only you.
You were there during all those times when some people misunderstood our intentions,
and we survived through all that.
You were there during events,
when we would spend more time together,
even if we were already spending all of our time together.
You were there during late night calls,
we would talk like there's no end.

We were there when you were trying to get over a certain someone.
We were there when we were sharing our own personal problems.
We were there when we got criticized for our work.
We were there during those nerve-wrecking moments.
We were there doing what girls just do.

I was told to remember all of the good times I spent with you,
and to actually make the effort to reconcile with you.

Well, I'm sorry.
I can't do it.

Not with all the pretences and short-lived promises.
Never once fulfilled.

I did my part.
Don't bother replying.
If you do,
it's most probably all in the name of defending your own name,
instead of clearing things up.
And in the end,
I'll look like the bad guy once again!
Without fail!

I'm being super honest here.
What about you?

Jealous?
Frustrated?
Envious?
Disappointed?
Ashamed?

I felt them all.
All thanks to you.

Thank you very much.

4 comment(s):

Post a Comment