"I might just close this blog down.

...

I most probably won't.

I just lost the mood and the want to blog nowadays.

After all that had happened.

Will reply all tags and comments soon.
I have a lot of explaining to do.

It's the last day of July.

I just want a change.
Changes, perhaps.
To start over.

Till a proper update."

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I was first introduced to this song and singer, thanks to Christina who sent the link over to me. And yes, I still agree this song is very awesome indeed.

Back then when she first sent the link to me, and when I listened to this song, I fell in love with it immediately.

But it is only recently, maybe a week back - I realized how much the song and its lyrics apply to this one particular situation in my life.

Reading the directors' concept of the video, it made everything more meaningful, and somehow, I believed that this song came into my knowledge at the right timing, in this certain point in my life, when I have to deal with another form of departures.

Directors' concept of the video, as extracted from Wong Fu Productions Blog,

For those that didn’t get it totally, here’s the full concept behind the video.
David and Lana are both sitting in this white room. We also show them going on with the rest of their lives (hanging out w/ friends, shopping, meeting new people) but they are still always in this room together. The idea is that, no matter where we go and how we move on in life, we’re still always somehow connected to that special someone we were with, in a frozen place and time. In this video, that place is the white room; and here in this place, David explains (sings) to Lana that if he were to see her again, he wouldn’t try to talk to her.

Towards the end of the video, we see them switch positions as well (David was on the right, at the end he’s on the left). We also show each of them revisiting each other’s locations. (Lana went to the bball court, David went to the salon, etc). This could imply that maybe they did try to find each other again, but missed. Now in this suspended white room, he gives up, and she watches him go.

It hit me that this particular situation in life I'm going through, tallies exactly the same way with the directors' concept and the song lyrics itself.

It felt like this song was made for me to be strong throughout this phase in life I have to slowly, but surely have to get over with it.

Based on the directors' concept, I had put myself in David's shoes, and said individual in Lana's place. The both of us, I still believe, quoting the directors' concept, no matter where we go and how we move on in life, we’re still always somehow connected to that special someone we were with, in a frozen place and time. Even though that special relationship of ours is officially declared as over by you, though like it seemed that I wanted it, but because of our past memories and the times we spent together, whether it revolves around joy or sadness, we are always still connected, as all those memoirs are in that white room, just like how the connection between the both of us stays in that room as well.

Yes, it does hurt seeing you happy when I was still picking myself up without you, but it would be selfish of me to say that out loud as it would seem that I'm such a possessive human.

As much as I tried to forget and let go of the special bond we once had, I still moped and felt very alone, framed, hurt, despised, when I think that you probably never cared at all. Maybe you did, but it's as if you didn't feel the hurt I felt for this whole matter.

It feels like I'm too dependant on you, which is what I didn't want to be.

If you are so happy without me, and may had forgotten all about me, why should I be upset over you and make my life miserable and shorten my lifespan on planet Earth?

If there's something you should know, or might had already known, my pride gets the better of me.

All this while, I'm secretly dying to talk to you, to share my thoughts with you, to spend our sleeping nights chatting on the phone over everything under the night sky, like the last time.

But my pride firmly said no, and I wouldn't even want to try and talk to you first, and I always felt that I had been doing for the past year or so. It would feel like I'm desperate to start a conversation, maybe I am, but I won't lose out and bow down to you. I won't make myself look that desperate and pathetic in public.

Never.

And now, after even thinking of ending my life because of you, I feel very stupid. Why should I live so miserably, when you never even bothered to be there for me when I needed comfort the most? When I was at my weakest, you just stared on, not doing anything to help.

Maybe you were at a loss of what to do, but hey, thank gawd for them, I managed to knock some sense into that clouded head of mine, all thoughts of you, and clear it up with some common sense.

So there, I'm giving up, for you might never even know that this post is intended for you.

Only my Twinnie Ash will know what I'm talking about, as she is the only one who has access to my inner soul and thoughts about this dark matter.

If you ever figure out that this is you, I dare you to make that first step and talk to me. Yes, you who had said that we are still friends no matter what, but whenever we meet, we just walk past each other without a hello or a bye, excluding that particular moment yesterday. We acted like the other wasn't even there. Is this what you call great friends forever?

I don't think so, thanks for the white lie, I don't need it.

I rather if you remove it from public view, for I think it's just an empty promise by you to make everything look fine, but that's only on the surface of matters.

It's all a lie.

If you can't keep a promise, don't make a promise in the first place. It hurts even more, even if it doesn't hurt you, it does to me.

Till now, I feel sore every time I see you. I would be observing on what you're doing, and hoping that things are going fine for you.

Problem is, that's me being such a fool I guess, thinking that you might be feeling the same way.

I highly doubt it.

So there, this song is dedicated to you, said individual.

The said individual who broke my heart into many shattering pieces, and I'm still trying to pick them pieces up.

Thank you for making me feel so dumb, and stupid, and foolish, all at the same time.

Thank you for letting me consider suicide, and upset the others who really cared for me, and were actually concerned for unimportant me.

Thank you..for being a fragment of my memories.

Thank you..for those little gifts that made my day occasionally.

Thank you, for being a part of me.

Thank you..but that's all in the past now.

Thank you..and now it's goodbye.

This is for you.

What happened
after last summer
when we broke up
in September

I haven't seen you
Feels like a long time
Sometimes it still hurts
But I always get by..

"I still got a piece of you under my skin.
It's always there no matter where I've been.."

"So if I ever see you on the street
I'll pretend that I didn't see
And turn my face
No use in small talk anyways

Because if I look into your eyes
Then I'll have to say goodbye
And that will break my heart
So I won't even start..
No I won't even start..

I wish you luck
And I wish it true
That's the best
I can do for you

'Cos you'll probably find love
In someone new
I have to let go..!
Yeah it's hard to do..

So if I run into you with your arm by his side
Just know it'll cut me like a knife

"So if I ever see you on the street
I'll pretend that I didn't see
And turn my face
No use in small talk anyways

Because if I look into your eyes
Then I'll have to say goodbye
And that will break my heart
So I won't even start..
No I won't even start..

"I'll be okay.."

"I'll be okay..!"
Oh that's what I'll say..

"So if I ever see you on the street
I'll pretend that I didn't see
And turn my face
No use in small talk anyways

Because if I look into your eyes
Then I'll have to say goodbye
And that will break my heart
So I won't even start..
Oh I won't even start..
No I won't even start.

-Won't Even Start, © David Choi.-

Time for another session of truths in my other space.

To you, if you ever want to find out the deepest darkest truths about you, ask my twin, if you even bother or regard me as a friend.

And Twinnie, I'll let you decide whatever you want to tell said individual, I'll know whatever you do, is right and the best for me. Because you understand.

Thank you Twinnie. I love you too.

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"I wonder how Puan Faizah is now at the hospital, it should be about time that Evonne, May, Ah Yuan and Cassan are there visiting her. Hope she and her newborn baby girl are both healthy and fine."

(:

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Let's just enjoy those simple things in life,
while we still have a chance to.
A blessing to those who live in content,
and those contented are blessed indeed.
Now, for a smile on that face.
(:
Hello readers.

I had been asked to update, so here I am.

It's saddening actually that I need to have people pestering me to blog to actually start blogging.

Truth is, I wanted to blog days ago, but somehow, as much as I wanted to live as a carefree happy-go-lucky human, I couldn't.

I just didn't have the mood to blog.

Frustrating indeed, as my heart still feels heavy up till this very moment, typing this entry down.

As some of you might know, I had officially made the decision to stop pursuing Queen's Guide.

I honestly couldn't cope anymore with another workload, and I'm just as sore about it as anyone else.

I had always thought I'm really passionate about attaining the title of Queen's Guide.

Till recently, that is.

I'll be very honest about the whole situation here.

It's my own fault that I have horrible time management. I tend to lose focus very easily while doing any kind of work, and like I had ranted to quite a number of people, and amazing how they seemed to know without telling me, I have a very short attention span.

What's more, I tend to procrastinate a lot as well.

Hence, I lost all that precious time in doing the log books and I'm in deep shit as Miss Low wants them now.

My studies aren't all that good either, though certain friends have the misconception that I'm a very smart kid.

Well, a very sincere thank you to those friends who actually believed that I'm smart, but I'll make it clear that I'm actually not that smart, just acting smart I guess. Haha.

I nearly flunked History, and Add. Maths too.

Let's not forget Physics and Chemistry and Biology!

Come on, I even find Modern Maths challenging, even if the majority thinks it's one of the easiest subjects.

This is proof on how inadequate I am in my studies.

Sometimes I do question myself on how I actually managed to get straight A's for PMR last year.

I would call it pure luck.

Seriously, compared to the rest of my classmates, or maybe the whole form itself, I didn't do as much revision, nor paid much attention in class.

Luck. Pure luck I say.

I digress.

But really, there was also this thought in me that constantly bugs me on how useless I am in doing all that physical work during camps.

I can hardly do any hard work, nor build any gadgets.

I felt useless, compared to Min Wen, Jia Xin, Hazel and even Xin Yun who wasn't taking Queen's Guide.

Miss Low had never failed to constantly remind me to always compare myself to them, how capable they are in coping with their studies, being excellent all-rounders and at the same time, excel in their journeys of attaining Queen's Guide as well.

Let's not forget Ju Chin, Chiu, Angela, Catherine, Jamie, Farra and Emelda.

I had always pressured myself to be like them - excel in both my studies and Girl Guide activities, and coping with tuition and extra classes as well.

My thought about this whole matter had always been like this,

"If they can do it, why can't I?"
And when reality hits me, that was when the downfall of my actions and thinking back then.

I had been stressing myself out trying to be like others, to achieve what others can do, to try and be another among those great names, to be an outstanding example.

My mistake again.

When I realized I couldn't cope, the pressure of being as good as the others was keeping me really down and moody.

I was upset, I cry over it all the time. I won't bother to deny it.

I just can't seem to accept the fact that there are people who are always better than me.

I want to excel ,who doesn't?

But now, I guess the only way for me to excel is to work well in things that I really enjoyed doing, and not forcing myself to try so hard, but only to fall harder.

I tried liking camps. I tried liking hard work. I tried liking log books. I tried to like the whole experience I'm getting.

I thought I did liked them all, finally.

But it's only now that I realized, that those things I had mentioned earlier, aren't my thing at all.

So it's time to let go I guess.

No more looking back.

I'm still preparing myself to gather enough courage to face Miss Low and personally tell her that I'm going to stop participating in attaining Queen's Guide.

Up till now, I'm darn shit scared. No denying this either.

The fear of her judging me once more, and treating me very coldly, is really making me down.

But it's my life I'm living. So most probably I have to live it down, and get on with life.

There's more to life than Miss Low, right?

Sigh.

Fellow haters that obviously do not like me, hate or even despise me, maybe you're at your happiest now that I'm falling so hard.

That I'm most probably not going to be one of the outstanding students in SIGS.

The fact that I had quit both debate and up next, Queen's Guide.

I just wanted to be a daughter that my family can be proud of, a student that the teachers can rely on.

I can hardly manage myself, and now trying to finish up the remaining obligations I have for the school?

It's sickening. Hoyeah.

Yes haters, be happy. For I had fallen. And very hard this time.

But ultimately, how does it benefit you all as haters? It's only a few seconds of happiness which is going to wear off anytime soon.

In my case, it might be pursuing a brand new form of happiness. (:

Therefore, I would like to end this post to those who had helped me in making my decision and supported me in this mess of mine.

My parents, my brother, Lynnie-jie, Guppy, Jia Ying, May, Evonne, Vee, Naomi, Azri, Anna, and of course, those friends of my in 4SC1.

I was a baby to burst out crying in class all of a sudden, but thanks, really. :]

Now, to collect back those pieces and to start putting them together again.

For I need to start all over again, and live life to the fullest.

Literally.

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This is Ash Lee.
She is my awesome long lost twin.
From the 14th of July 2009, 22:01.
Twinning vows were taken.
And will be abided.
Coincides with Ash's dad's birthday as well.
(:

We are definitely in sync,
just like how twins should be!
She gets what me,
the human who speaks in such a complicated manner,'
with equally complicating thoughts,
is trying to convey,
say, tell.
All the time!
She knows me better than I know myself,
who would ever knew?
I recently just did. x]

In just a matter of weeks,
we really bonded based on how similar we are.
From Lenka to red specs,
from Wonder Girls to our liking for photography.
From how we view this world and its issues in our perspectives.

This girl rocks.
Need. To. See. Her. In. Person. And. Talk. Like. There's. No. End.
We can meet up in a nice cafe and savour the peace and serenity of one.
And sip a cuppa while people-watching.
Or we can find a place where we can just lie down,
stare at the blue blue sky,
watch the clouds go by,
and just release our thoughts while we're at it.

Which reminds me,
that's what I promised Anna and Azri too.
Paint and draw at Istana Gardens one fine day.
:)

With Ash,
we're just going to talk.
About anything and everything under the sky.

She is like my conscience.
A good friend.
a wise counselor.
I heart this girl.

And I haven't replied your emails yet.
Yikes.

But what you said made a lot of sense.
I shall elaborate more in my replies. ;)

Thank gawd Ash found me.
Bless her.

"We are twins.
And we rock.
Period."

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Nobody likes leaving their comfort zone.
But hey,
the thrilling part of life comes in changes.
If you don't move forward to discover them,
how long do you still want to seek refuge,
in that shell of yours and hide from changes?
-Leaving.., ©honcuk.-
Today was the day of departures once more in a class called 4 Science 1.

Last week had been full of decision-making. About selecting and going through all possible choices of what's right or wrong for each individual.

Yes, in this particular case, it has been known to us that Malaysia's Ministry of Education had decided to limit the number of subjects to be taken during the SPM examination, due to them wanting to focus more on the co-curricular achievements and participation of the students and the whole PSD scholarship issue.

And it's also decided that this rule shall apply to those taking SPM in 2010, which happens to be us fourth formers of 2009, it's our batch y'all.

In SIGS, 4SC1 and 4SC2 students had been generally taking 11 subjects so far, which are:

1. Bahasa Melayu/Malaysia.
2. English Language.
3. History.
4. Moral Education/Islamic Studies.
5. Mathematics.
6. Additional Mathematics.
   
7. Biology.
8. Physics.
9. Chemistry.
10. English in Science and Technology.
11. Prinsip Akaun.

And a number of us are also taking Music, hence to those who did, we took 12 subjects instead.

It was already a dilemma for those taking 11 subjects to decide between EST or PA.

For us who are taking 12 subjects, it was even worse, trust me.

Suddenly, EST was dropped out of our timetable, so we all assumed that we have to take PA.

Then, we were given a choice to choose.

It's a miracle that the school authorities are allowing the students to finally make a decision by themselves instead of following their every single notion.

Initially, Ah Yuan, Sarah and me wanted to drop both EST and PA to take up Music.

Then the whole drama started when we can't do so because apparently PA was a compulsory subject in 4SC1, therefore if we wanted to take up Music, we have to switch classes to 4SC3.

Before we had a chance to even think about it, we were told that the class quota was already at its limit, so basically, Music was way out of our league.

Okay, fine.

If that wasn't enough, the three of us were forced to choose between EST and PA.

After pondering about it, and we were given only about half an hour to decide this issue that might affect our SPM certificate, all three of us chose EST. And that's with the fact that Puan Hajah Afrinah gave us her word that we aren't going to split into different classes till next year.

Wrong again.

On Saturday, when it was the lunch break for the Gadget Competition in Convent, I got a call from Najwa, with her saying that I had to choose between the two subjects again, because apparently we had to switch classes to 4SC2 if we still wanted to take up EST.

Oh great. I had to choose again?

Somehow since Friday, Ah Yuan and I didn't feel good about our choice of taking up EST.

Somehow, there was this nagging thought in my head that I made a wrong choice, and I only made this decision because my whole family had advised me to take up EST.

In the end, my mind was finally made up.

I'm taking PA for SPM, and that's final.

No more changing my mind, no more thinking so much about it.

My head was sore from all that thinking, but still, I felt so much more relieved making this choice than sticking to what I had decided for myself before.

There's a whole lot of reasons why I'm taking up PA instead for SPM, other than the generally discussed fact that it's a useful subject and all.

Reasons shall not be disclosed here, unfortunately.

If any of you know what I'm talking about, I'm choosing to state them reasons somewhere else.

And there, from the five or six people who were taking EST, there were only two left who were very sure of their choices.

Fairuz and Najwa, who were intent on taking EST and not PA.

They left for 4SC2 today, and instead of being sad that they won't be there anymore, I decided to be happy for them.

They made a choice they know they won't regret, and that's great for them, really.

It's not like they're leaving us forever to some faraway Neverland, they're just upstairs.

If we are really friends, no matter how much the distance, we're still friends, we'll make the effort to keep in touch and make sure that friendship doesn't face away with time.

Then again. Some friendships are just not as strong as we all thought.

All of us are going to pursue our own paths after SPM, so this is merely a challenge for us, a stepping stone to the numerous byes we'll be getting after graduating from Form Five.

So stay strong peeps, we should be happy for those two, as much as their presence shall be missed.

I can only wish Fairuz and Najwa here all the best. (:

Meanwhile, Music class is going to be fairly quiet with only two people left - Natchie and Eva.

Gosh, the horror. Silence in a Music class?

Very abnormal.

In any case, I'll be dropping by from time to time, to annoy the hell out of Puan Yew and to catch up with the Korean-spazzing Natchie and the humourous Chemistry tuition mate Eva. It was nice hanging out with them and Puan Yew with Jia Ying mummy, Kitty Kat, Xin Yun and Amirah Hanis. What more with the fact that we didn't have to do our theory which was due..weeks ago? Haha.

I still have lots to do, and I doubt that I'll be updating often.

Need to get my life fixed by the start of August.

And by fixed I mean get all that undone homework done, log books complete, school obligations fulfilled, and keeping a low profile in school to avoid being undetected by teachers.

*****

Just throwing in all them happy stuff in here for a good laugh when I read them again in the future. (:

PJ was fun today. We played this game in which we had to memorize the names of somebody's favourite food, and recite them all over again. Just for memory's sake, here's the list:

Round 1
May - Charkuey bakar.
Ah Yuan - Tauhu bakar.
Jia Ying - Satay.
Guppy - Chocolate.
Jia Xin - Ice cream.
Leonie - Ais kacang.
Fairuz - Telur.
Najwa - Carbonara Spaghetti.
Cassan - Cotton candy.
Sarah - Lollipop.
Saran - Pepperoni.
Tasha - Apple.
Syadza - Tomyam.
Shamilla - Soya bean.
Veena - Nasi lemak.

Round 2
Ah Yuan - Chicken teriyaki.
Jia Ying - Chicken chop with black pepper sauce.
Guppy - Jagung panggang.
Jia Xin - Honey.
Leonie - Miso ramen.
Fairuz - Nasi goreng paprik.
Saran - Pasta.
Syadza - Asam Pedas Ikan Kurau.
Shamilla - Asam Laksa Ikan Pari.
Veena - Ended the game and managed to recite all of the above.

Notes :

1. Syadza is now known as muka tomyam, thanks to Veena.
2. Veena goes, "I know you..!" every time she tries to remember Jia Ying's favourite food.
   
3. May was very miffed about copyrights when Guppy said Jagung Panggang. :P
4. Fairuz can be the next successful waitress. Seriously.
5. Jaafar was in the game, but she forgotten Shamilla's in the first round, so she was out before having a chance to make an appearance! Haha.
6. In the first round, I clapped each time I said the name of a certain dish, and Guppy was wondering why didn't I bother saying roti canai. =.= LOL.
7. The gazebo near the counselling room does hold some good memories of us there now. Sweet. [:
   

We played masuk-masuk last Friday, and it was awesomeness.

PJ in 4SC1 just rocks.

And yeah, there was the incident when the prefect meeting in the hall was finally over, and a few of us Form Four prefects took the attendance list from Jane to update our yellow prefect cards, whatever and however you refer them as.

And it was just then, Evonne dropped Veena's blue mechanical pencil through the wedges of the pentas.

I never had a good laugh for so long, for Guppy, Jia Ying, Evonne, Veena and I were pushing and pulling and pushing the pentas like there's not tomorrow, and using Veena's long ruler to try and slide the pencil out, but we managed to uncover some IU stuff, PA worksheets, and random trash instead.

Thanks to Guppy's miraculous hand, the pencil was saved.

Hallelujah! xD

Two Fridays ago, Guppy, Jia Ying and I took the bus to Plaza Pelangi and we had fun walking around.

In the bus we saw Enddy, and a student who has the exact same bottle as Anna! LOL.

Saw Stephanie with her cool-looking iPhone, her friend, Khai and her friend, and a whole lot of other people.

It was fun while we were there. Since I was cooped up for so long at home and it was nice just walking around with Guppy and Jia Ying. Guppy should bring me out when she goes clothes shopping one day! ;)

Last Friday, MaoMao aka Yun Han and Yi Shian were having fun tormenting us with their 'massage techniques', which were darn freakarse painful, but surprisingly addictive. Call me sadistic or whatever, honestly, it was THAT addictive.

And yes, thank you my dearest Anna-chan for the pretty card you gave me. I guess you're one of them rare ones who can understand my passion for fashion. Haha. =)

WARNING: Azri is a potential molester, secretly in disguise. A darn abusive one as well. Yeouch. I'm going to implement 'must-hide-Ozri's-shoes' plan as soon as I can. She needs a taste of her own medicine! Not like I have the strength nor swiftness of Miss Ninja here, but I will get back at her..with my own way. Wakakakakakakakaka.

To Ash, if she manages to read till the very end of this post, I'm so sorry I haven't reply your email, I will do so, don't worry. Do bear with me alright? Hopefully you're doing fine, and that you got your problem settled. Remember, smile smile smile! (:

Stephanie never fails to inject some common sense into me. I feel much better about the whole drama now. Thank you! :]

Hope Lynnie-jie makes a trip to school soon, even for awhile! ;D

Kor's coming back soon this coming Sunday! You promised we'll go to the Da Vinci exhibition together, so hurry back! :D

It's very thoughtful of Najwa to get me a purse in the shape of a cute cat, knowing that I like cats, and just because she thought I would like it. Thank you!

There, a long entry after not updating for so long.

Might be doing another disappearing act once more.

Till then, cheers!

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I remembered Veena sending these photos to me just so that I have something to update my blog with. So here they are, in their rightful places in my blog for everyone to see. (:



Miss Stepho aka Hubby who has to be the first friend in my entire sixteen years on planet Earth to buy me cakes as a birthday pressie.

What more that these cakes are from Moonlight Cafe, a nice little place with a great environment, not forgetting their awesome Spaghetti Bolognese. Will always have a splendiferous meal there with my aunt and two cousins every time we come over to visit them.

I digress.

It was a very sweet gesture on Stepho darling's side, hence her earning the title of Little Miss Sweet! ;)

I know I said it before, but thanks so much for them cakes, Stepho dear! Very sweet and thoughtful of you, as always, and I hardly eat cakes. Haha.

My shophaholic partner who never fails to bring out my girly side, and also an excellent friend to take pictures with, and have pictures taken of. What can I say, we love the camera! :D

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Crash
That was you and me
Started out so innocently
Shattered on the ground
I hear the sound

Crash
Ringing in my ears
I still feel the sting of my tears
Someone wake me
I can’t seem to break free!

"Go on,
Get out of my head!
I’m on the wrong side of a parallel universe
Am I alive or just dead?
I’ve been stumbling in the dark
Living in a crash world."

Hush
Don’t say one more word
At this point the truth seems absurd
'Cos who we were
Is gone forever.

Crushed
Underneath the fears
Everything’s so twisted and weird
Someone save me
I can’t seem to break free!

"Go on,
Get out of my head!
I’m on the wrong side of a parallel universe
Am I alive or just dead?
I’ve been stumbling in the dark
Living in a crash world."

Slow motion
Devastation
Should have seen it coming
But I couldn’t do nothing
Emotion
Desperation
Someone save me
I can’t seem to break free!

"Go on,
Get out of my head!
I’m on the wrong side of a parallel universe
Am I alive or just dead?
I’ve been stumbling in the dark
Living in a crash world."

Crash world..
Crash world..
-Crash World, ©Hilary Duff.-

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It’s not an English name I came up with for myself. My mother is indeed a genius in coming up with such a splendid name for me. Although my name has been unfortunately mutilated (nicknames are excluded) over the past years, full credits to my mum for my current identity.

I’m certainly looking forward to changing the word ‘patient’ to ‘survivor’! If you’re interested to read about my journey in battling lymphoma, you can click here to proceed to my cancer blog.

Ironic, I know; this blog is mainly pink instead. I like all colours actually, but I find myself having an affinity to the colour green. In fact, I can safely say that green is my soul colour.

Languages, music, fashion, photography, cultures, dance, literature, writing; just about anything, really. The arts truly intrigue me, especially thought-provoking pieces. Of course, the arts play a major role in inspiring me in my everyday life.

I don’t have a favourite genre – I read any book that interests me!

I am a trained right-hander from young, since apparently being left-handed is considered ‘wrong’. Basically, I’m ambidextrous! No wonder I find it easier to air guitar using my left hand than my right; I simply relate to the arts than subjects that deal with logical thinking better, too.

A stubborn Bull I am, too. I abhor being rushed. I prefer doing matters at my own reasonable pace. I don’t particularly like changes in my routine, but I can adapt quite easily. I’m a very practical person as well. I enjoy the beautiful things in life, but that doesn’t make me shun ugliness at all. Besides, it all depends on how one perceives beauty. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder!

Still am, but I’m slowly learning to accept imperfection into my life. Also, I’m doing my best to erase the many expectations I have so I could one day master the art of letting go and freeing myself to simple happiness and joy.

Compared to before, I’m less dramatic nowadays. Language-wise, I attempt to blog flawlessly in English and speak proper English online with my peers. Call me a Grammar Nazi all you want, but that’s how I roll. I only converse in perfect English in formal situations and during my dramatic outbursts. Otherwise, I’m absolutely capable of communicating like the average Malaysian!

It’s a different issue altogether when you’re forced to learn for the sake of getting good grades, though. Other than that, I’m open to new information and knowledge anytime! I especially would like to learn more languages and pick up new musical instruments.

…are just some of the things I would love to do in the near future, hopefully!

the basic rules apply. If you respect me, I’ll respect you. If you happen to be someone who has low EQ skills, I’ll try to be tolerant but my patience is definitely limited. I’m observant when it comes to human behaviour. I’m a person of many opinions, but I don’t voice them out unless I trust you enough; I’m very honest and candid when it comes to the people I can trust. Even though I trust very easily, not everybody can prove that they’re all that nice. Hurt me, and I’ll only defend myself if necessary. Hurt my family or my friends – you won’t find me holding back.

Is there anything else you would like to know about me?
Throw me your questions and/or doubts here! I honestly have nothing to hide, so you’ll expect the truth and nothing but the truth.

It’s only how I phrase my answers that you’ll have to be aware of.
Or…you can click hereto go back to reading!

"I might just close this blog down.

...

I most probably won't.

I just lost the mood and the want to blog nowadays.

After all that had happened.

Will reply all tags and comments soon.
I have a lot of explaining to do.

It's the last day of July.

I just want a change.
Changes, perhaps.
To start over.

Till a proper update."

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I was first introduced to this song and singer, thanks to Christina who sent the link over to me. And yes, I still agree this song is very awesome indeed.

Back then when she first sent the link to me, and when I listened to this song, I fell in love with it immediately.

But it is only recently, maybe a week back - I realized how much the song and its lyrics apply to this one particular situation in my life.

Reading the directors' concept of the video, it made everything more meaningful, and somehow, I believed that this song came into my knowledge at the right timing, in this certain point in my life, when I have to deal with another form of departures.

Directors' concept of the video, as extracted from Wong Fu Productions Blog,

For those that didn’t get it totally, here’s the full concept behind the video.
David and Lana are both sitting in this white room. We also show them going on with the rest of their lives (hanging out w/ friends, shopping, meeting new people) but they are still always in this room together. The idea is that, no matter where we go and how we move on in life, we’re still always somehow connected to that special someone we were with, in a frozen place and time. In this video, that place is the white room; and here in this place, David explains (sings) to Lana that if he were to see her again, he wouldn’t try to talk to her.

Towards the end of the video, we see them switch positions as well (David was on the right, at the end he’s on the left). We also show each of them revisiting each other’s locations. (Lana went to the bball court, David went to the salon, etc). This could imply that maybe they did try to find each other again, but missed. Now in this suspended white room, he gives up, and she watches him go.

It hit me that this particular situation in life I'm going through, tallies exactly the same way with the directors' concept and the song lyrics itself.

It felt like this song was made for me to be strong throughout this phase in life I have to slowly, but surely have to get over with it.

Based on the directors' concept, I had put myself in David's shoes, and said individual in Lana's place. The both of us, I still believe, quoting the directors' concept, no matter where we go and how we move on in life, we’re still always somehow connected to that special someone we were with, in a frozen place and time. Even though that special relationship of ours is officially declared as over by you, though like it seemed that I wanted it, but because of our past memories and the times we spent together, whether it revolves around joy or sadness, we are always still connected, as all those memoirs are in that white room, just like how the connection between the both of us stays in that room as well.

Yes, it does hurt seeing you happy when I was still picking myself up without you, but it would be selfish of me to say that out loud as it would seem that I'm such a possessive human.

As much as I tried to forget and let go of the special bond we once had, I still moped and felt very alone, framed, hurt, despised, when I think that you probably never cared at all. Maybe you did, but it's as if you didn't feel the hurt I felt for this whole matter.

It feels like I'm too dependant on you, which is what I didn't want to be.

If you are so happy without me, and may had forgotten all about me, why should I be upset over you and make my life miserable and shorten my lifespan on planet Earth?

If there's something you should know, or might had already known, my pride gets the better of me.

All this while, I'm secretly dying to talk to you, to share my thoughts with you, to spend our sleeping nights chatting on the phone over everything under the night sky, like the last time.

But my pride firmly said no, and I wouldn't even want to try and talk to you first, and I always felt that I had been doing for the past year or so. It would feel like I'm desperate to start a conversation, maybe I am, but I won't lose out and bow down to you. I won't make myself look that desperate and pathetic in public.

Never.

And now, after even thinking of ending my life because of you, I feel very stupid. Why should I live so miserably, when you never even bothered to be there for me when I needed comfort the most? When I was at my weakest, you just stared on, not doing anything to help.

Maybe you were at a loss of what to do, but hey, thank gawd for them, I managed to knock some sense into that clouded head of mine, all thoughts of you, and clear it up with some common sense.

So there, I'm giving up, for you might never even know that this post is intended for you.

Only my Twinnie Ash will know what I'm talking about, as she is the only one who has access to my inner soul and thoughts about this dark matter.

If you ever figure out that this is you, I dare you to make that first step and talk to me. Yes, you who had said that we are still friends no matter what, but whenever we meet, we just walk past each other without a hello or a bye, excluding that particular moment yesterday. We acted like the other wasn't even there. Is this what you call great friends forever?

I don't think so, thanks for the white lie, I don't need it.

I rather if you remove it from public view, for I think it's just an empty promise by you to make everything look fine, but that's only on the surface of matters.

It's all a lie.

If you can't keep a promise, don't make a promise in the first place. It hurts even more, even if it doesn't hurt you, it does to me.

Till now, I feel sore every time I see you. I would be observing on what you're doing, and hoping that things are going fine for you.

Problem is, that's me being such a fool I guess, thinking that you might be feeling the same way.

I highly doubt it.

So there, this song is dedicated to you, said individual.

The said individual who broke my heart into many shattering pieces, and I'm still trying to pick them pieces up.

Thank you for making me feel so dumb, and stupid, and foolish, all at the same time.

Thank you for letting me consider suicide, and upset the others who really cared for me, and were actually concerned for unimportant me.

Thank you..for being a fragment of my memories.

Thank you..for those little gifts that made my day occasionally.

Thank you, for being a part of me.

Thank you..but that's all in the past now.

Thank you..and now it's goodbye.

This is for you.

What happened
after last summer
when we broke up
in September

I haven't seen you
Feels like a long time
Sometimes it still hurts
But I always get by..

"I still got a piece of you under my skin.
It's always there no matter where I've been.."

"So if I ever see you on the street
I'll pretend that I didn't see
And turn my face
No use in small talk anyways

Because if I look into your eyes
Then I'll have to say goodbye
And that will break my heart
So I won't even start..
No I won't even start..

I wish you luck
And I wish it true
That's the best
I can do for you

'Cos you'll probably find love
In someone new
I have to let go..!
Yeah it's hard to do..

So if I run into you with your arm by his side
Just know it'll cut me like a knife

"So if I ever see you on the street
I'll pretend that I didn't see
And turn my face
No use in small talk anyways

Because if I look into your eyes
Then I'll have to say goodbye
And that will break my heart
So I won't even start..
No I won't even start..

"I'll be okay.."

"I'll be okay..!"
Oh that's what I'll say..

"So if I ever see you on the street
I'll pretend that I didn't see
And turn my face
No use in small talk anyways

Because if I look into your eyes
Then I'll have to say goodbye
And that will break my heart
So I won't even start..
Oh I won't even start..
No I won't even start.

-Won't Even Start, © David Choi.-

Time for another session of truths in my other space.

To you, if you ever want to find out the deepest darkest truths about you, ask my twin, if you even bother or regard me as a friend.

And Twinnie, I'll let you decide whatever you want to tell said individual, I'll know whatever you do, is right and the best for me. Because you understand.

Thank you Twinnie. I love you too.

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"I wonder how Puan Faizah is now at the hospital, it should be about time that Evonne, May, Ah Yuan and Cassan are there visiting her. Hope she and her newborn baby girl are both healthy and fine."

(:

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Let's just enjoy those simple things in life,
while we still have a chance to.
A blessing to those who live in content,
and those contented are blessed indeed.
Now, for a smile on that face.
(:
Hello readers.

I had been asked to update, so here I am.

It's saddening actually that I need to have people pestering me to blog to actually start blogging.

Truth is, I wanted to blog days ago, but somehow, as much as I wanted to live as a carefree happy-go-lucky human, I couldn't.

I just didn't have the mood to blog.

Frustrating indeed, as my heart still feels heavy up till this very moment, typing this entry down.

As some of you might know, I had officially made the decision to stop pursuing Queen's Guide.

I honestly couldn't cope anymore with another workload, and I'm just as sore about it as anyone else.

I had always thought I'm really passionate about attaining the title of Queen's Guide.

Till recently, that is.

I'll be very honest about the whole situation here.

It's my own fault that I have horrible time management. I tend to lose focus very easily while doing any kind of work, and like I had ranted to quite a number of people, and amazing how they seemed to know without telling me, I have a very short attention span.

What's more, I tend to procrastinate a lot as well.

Hence, I lost all that precious time in doing the log books and I'm in deep shit as Miss Low wants them now.

My studies aren't all that good either, though certain friends have the misconception that I'm a very smart kid.

Well, a very sincere thank you to those friends who actually believed that I'm smart, but I'll make it clear that I'm actually not that smart, just acting smart I guess. Haha.

I nearly flunked History, and Add. Maths too.

Let's not forget Physics and Chemistry and Biology!

Come on, I even find Modern Maths challenging, even if the majority thinks it's one of the easiest subjects.

This is proof on how inadequate I am in my studies.

Sometimes I do question myself on how I actually managed to get straight A's for PMR last year.

I would call it pure luck.

Seriously, compared to the rest of my classmates, or maybe the whole form itself, I didn't do as much revision, nor paid much attention in class.

Luck. Pure luck I say.

I digress.

But really, there was also this thought in me that constantly bugs me on how useless I am in doing all that physical work during camps.

I can hardly do any hard work, nor build any gadgets.

I felt useless, compared to Min Wen, Jia Xin, Hazel and even Xin Yun who wasn't taking Queen's Guide.

Miss Low had never failed to constantly remind me to always compare myself to them, how capable they are in coping with their studies, being excellent all-rounders and at the same time, excel in their journeys of attaining Queen's Guide as well.

Let's not forget Ju Chin, Chiu, Angela, Catherine, Jamie, Farra and Emelda.

I had always pressured myself to be like them - excel in both my studies and Girl Guide activities, and coping with tuition and extra classes as well.

My thought about this whole matter had always been like this,

"If they can do it, why can't I?"
And when reality hits me, that was when the downfall of my actions and thinking back then.

I had been stressing myself out trying to be like others, to achieve what others can do, to try and be another among those great names, to be an outstanding example.

My mistake again.

When I realized I couldn't cope, the pressure of being as good as the others was keeping me really down and moody.

I was upset, I cry over it all the time. I won't bother to deny it.

I just can't seem to accept the fact that there are people who are always better than me.

I want to excel ,who doesn't?

But now, I guess the only way for me to excel is to work well in things that I really enjoyed doing, and not forcing myself to try so hard, but only to fall harder.

I tried liking camps. I tried liking hard work. I tried liking log books. I tried to like the whole experience I'm getting.

I thought I did liked them all, finally.

But it's only now that I realized, that those things I had mentioned earlier, aren't my thing at all.

So it's time to let go I guess.

No more looking back.

I'm still preparing myself to gather enough courage to face Miss Low and personally tell her that I'm going to stop participating in attaining Queen's Guide.

Up till now, I'm darn shit scared. No denying this either.

The fear of her judging me once more, and treating me very coldly, is really making me down.

But it's my life I'm living. So most probably I have to live it down, and get on with life.

There's more to life than Miss Low, right?

Sigh.

Fellow haters that obviously do not like me, hate or even despise me, maybe you're at your happiest now that I'm falling so hard.

That I'm most probably not going to be one of the outstanding students in SIGS.

The fact that I had quit both debate and up next, Queen's Guide.

I just wanted to be a daughter that my family can be proud of, a student that the teachers can rely on.

I can hardly manage myself, and now trying to finish up the remaining obligations I have for the school?

It's sickening. Hoyeah.

Yes haters, be happy. For I had fallen. And very hard this time.

But ultimately, how does it benefit you all as haters? It's only a few seconds of happiness which is going to wear off anytime soon.

In my case, it might be pursuing a brand new form of happiness. (:

Therefore, I would like to end this post to those who had helped me in making my decision and supported me in this mess of mine.

My parents, my brother, Lynnie-jie, Guppy, Jia Ying, May, Evonne, Vee, Naomi, Azri, Anna, and of course, those friends of my in 4SC1.

I was a baby to burst out crying in class all of a sudden, but thanks, really. :]

Now, to collect back those pieces and to start putting them together again.

For I need to start all over again, and live life to the fullest.

Literally.

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This is Ash Lee.
She is my awesome long lost twin.
From the 14th of July 2009, 22:01.
Twinning vows were taken.
And will be abided.
Coincides with Ash's dad's birthday as well.
(:

We are definitely in sync,
just like how twins should be!
She gets what me,
the human who speaks in such a complicated manner,'
with equally complicating thoughts,
is trying to convey,
say, tell.
All the time!
She knows me better than I know myself,
who would ever knew?
I recently just did. x]

In just a matter of weeks,
we really bonded based on how similar we are.
From Lenka to red specs,
from Wonder Girls to our liking for photography.
From how we view this world and its issues in our perspectives.

This girl rocks.
Need. To. See. Her. In. Person. And. Talk. Like. There's. No. End.
We can meet up in a nice cafe and savour the peace and serenity of one.
And sip a cuppa while people-watching.
Or we can find a place where we can just lie down,
stare at the blue blue sky,
watch the clouds go by,
and just release our thoughts while we're at it.

Which reminds me,
that's what I promised Anna and Azri too.
Paint and draw at Istana Gardens one fine day.
:)

With Ash,
we're just going to talk.
About anything and everything under the sky.

She is like my conscience.
A good friend.
a wise counselor.
I heart this girl.

And I haven't replied your emails yet.
Yikes.

But what you said made a lot of sense.
I shall elaborate more in my replies. ;)

Thank gawd Ash found me.
Bless her.

"We are twins.
And we rock.
Period."

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Nobody likes leaving their comfort zone.
But hey,
the thrilling part of life comes in changes.
If you don't move forward to discover them,
how long do you still want to seek refuge,
in that shell of yours and hide from changes?
-Leaving.., ©honcuk.-
Today was the day of departures once more in a class called 4 Science 1.

Last week had been full of decision-making. About selecting and going through all possible choices of what's right or wrong for each individual.

Yes, in this particular case, it has been known to us that Malaysia's Ministry of Education had decided to limit the number of subjects to be taken during the SPM examination, due to them wanting to focus more on the co-curricular achievements and participation of the students and the whole PSD scholarship issue.

And it's also decided that this rule shall apply to those taking SPM in 2010, which happens to be us fourth formers of 2009, it's our batch y'all.

In SIGS, 4SC1 and 4SC2 students had been generally taking 11 subjects so far, which are:

1. Bahasa Melayu/Malaysia.
2. English Language.
3. History.
4. Moral Education/Islamic Studies.
5. Mathematics.
6. Additional Mathematics.
   
7. Biology.
8. Physics.
9. Chemistry.
10. English in Science and Technology.
11. Prinsip Akaun.

And a number of us are also taking Music, hence to those who did, we took 12 subjects instead.

It was already a dilemma for those taking 11 subjects to decide between EST or PA.

For us who are taking 12 subjects, it was even worse, trust me.

Suddenly, EST was dropped out of our timetable, so we all assumed that we have to take PA.

Then, we were given a choice to choose.

It's a miracle that the school authorities are allowing the students to finally make a decision by themselves instead of following their every single notion.

Initially, Ah Yuan, Sarah and me wanted to drop both EST and PA to take up Music.

Then the whole drama started when we can't do so because apparently PA was a compulsory subject in 4SC1, therefore if we wanted to take up Music, we have to switch classes to 4SC3.

Before we had a chance to even think about it, we were told that the class quota was already at its limit, so basically, Music was way out of our league.

Okay, fine.

If that wasn't enough, the three of us were forced to choose between EST and PA.

After pondering about it, and we were given only about half an hour to decide this issue that might affect our SPM certificate, all three of us chose EST. And that's with the fact that Puan Hajah Afrinah gave us her word that we aren't going to split into different classes till next year.

Wrong again.

On Saturday, when it was the lunch break for the Gadget Competition in Convent, I got a call from Najwa, with her saying that I had to choose between the two subjects again, because apparently we had to switch classes to 4SC2 if we still wanted to take up EST.

Oh great. I had to choose again?

Somehow since Friday, Ah Yuan and I didn't feel good about our choice of taking up EST.

Somehow, there was this nagging thought in my head that I made a wrong choice, and I only made this decision because my whole family had advised me to take up EST.

In the end, my mind was finally made up.

I'm taking PA for SPM, and that's final.

No more changing my mind, no more thinking so much about it.

My head was sore from all that thinking, but still, I felt so much more relieved making this choice than sticking to what I had decided for myself before.

There's a whole lot of reasons why I'm taking up PA instead for SPM, other than the generally discussed fact that it's a useful subject and all.

Reasons shall not be disclosed here, unfortunately.

If any of you know what I'm talking about, I'm choosing to state them reasons somewhere else.

And there, from the five or six people who were taking EST, there were only two left who were very sure of their choices.

Fairuz and Najwa, who were intent on taking EST and not PA.

They left for 4SC2 today, and instead of being sad that they won't be there anymore, I decided to be happy for them.

They made a choice they know they won't regret, and that's great for them, really.

It's not like they're leaving us forever to some faraway Neverland, they're just upstairs.

If we are really friends, no matter how much the distance, we're still friends, we'll make the effort to keep in touch and make sure that friendship doesn't face away with time.

Then again. Some friendships are just not as strong as we all thought.

All of us are going to pursue our own paths after SPM, so this is merely a challenge for us, a stepping stone to the numerous byes we'll be getting after graduating from Form Five.

So stay strong peeps, we should be happy for those two, as much as their presence shall be missed.

I can only wish Fairuz and Najwa here all the best. (:

Meanwhile, Music class is going to be fairly quiet with only two people left - Natchie and Eva.

Gosh, the horror. Silence in a Music class?

Very abnormal.

In any case, I'll be dropping by from time to time, to annoy the hell out of Puan Yew and to catch up with the Korean-spazzing Natchie and the humourous Chemistry tuition mate Eva. It was nice hanging out with them and Puan Yew with Jia Ying mummy, Kitty Kat, Xin Yun and Amirah Hanis. What more with the fact that we didn't have to do our theory which was due..weeks ago? Haha.

I still have lots to do, and I doubt that I'll be updating often.

Need to get my life fixed by the start of August.

And by fixed I mean get all that undone homework done, log books complete, school obligations fulfilled, and keeping a low profile in school to avoid being undetected by teachers.

*****

Just throwing in all them happy stuff in here for a good laugh when I read them again in the future. (:

PJ was fun today. We played this game in which we had to memorize the names of somebody's favourite food, and recite them all over again. Just for memory's sake, here's the list:

Round 1
May - Charkuey bakar.
Ah Yuan - Tauhu bakar.
Jia Ying - Satay.
Guppy - Chocolate.
Jia Xin - Ice cream.
Leonie - Ais kacang.
Fairuz - Telur.
Najwa - Carbonara Spaghetti.
Cassan - Cotton candy.
Sarah - Lollipop.
Saran - Pepperoni.
Tasha - Apple.
Syadza - Tomyam.
Shamilla - Soya bean.
Veena - Nasi lemak.

Round 2
Ah Yuan - Chicken teriyaki.
Jia Ying - Chicken chop with black pepper sauce.
Guppy - Jagung panggang.
Jia Xin - Honey.
Leonie - Miso ramen.
Fairuz - Nasi goreng paprik.
Saran - Pasta.
Syadza - Asam Pedas Ikan Kurau.
Shamilla - Asam Laksa Ikan Pari.
Veena - Ended the game and managed to recite all of the above.

Notes :

1. Syadza is now known as muka tomyam, thanks to Veena.
2. Veena goes, "I know you..!" every time she tries to remember Jia Ying's favourite food.
   
3. May was very miffed about copyrights when Guppy said Jagung Panggang. :P
4. Fairuz can be the next successful waitress. Seriously.
5. Jaafar was in the game, but she forgotten Shamilla's in the first round, so she was out before having a chance to make an appearance! Haha.
6. In the first round, I clapped each time I said the name of a certain dish, and Guppy was wondering why didn't I bother saying roti canai. =.= LOL.
7. The gazebo near the counselling room does hold some good memories of us there now. Sweet. [:
   

We played masuk-masuk last Friday, and it was awesomeness.

PJ in 4SC1 just rocks.

And yeah, there was the incident when the prefect meeting in the hall was finally over, and a few of us Form Four prefects took the attendance list from Jane to update our yellow prefect cards, whatever and however you refer them as.

And it was just then, Evonne dropped Veena's blue mechanical pencil through the wedges of the pentas.

I never had a good laugh for so long, for Guppy, Jia Ying, Evonne, Veena and I were pushing and pulling and pushing the pentas like there's not tomorrow, and using Veena's long ruler to try and slide the pencil out, but we managed to uncover some IU stuff, PA worksheets, and random trash instead.

Thanks to Guppy's miraculous hand, the pencil was saved.

Hallelujah! xD

Two Fridays ago, Guppy, Jia Ying and I took the bus to Plaza Pelangi and we had fun walking around.

In the bus we saw Enddy, and a student who has the exact same bottle as Anna! LOL.

Saw Stephanie with her cool-looking iPhone, her friend, Khai and her friend, and a whole lot of other people.

It was fun while we were there. Since I was cooped up for so long at home and it was nice just walking around with Guppy and Jia Ying. Guppy should bring me out when she goes clothes shopping one day! ;)

Last Friday, MaoMao aka Yun Han and Yi Shian were having fun tormenting us with their 'massage techniques', which were darn freakarse painful, but surprisingly addictive. Call me sadistic or whatever, honestly, it was THAT addictive.

And yes, thank you my dearest Anna-chan for the pretty card you gave me. I guess you're one of them rare ones who can understand my passion for fashion. Haha. =)

WARNING: Azri is a potential molester, secretly in disguise. A darn abusive one as well. Yeouch. I'm going to implement 'must-hide-Ozri's-shoes' plan as soon as I can. She needs a taste of her own medicine! Not like I have the strength nor swiftness of Miss Ninja here, but I will get back at her..with my own way. Wakakakakakakakaka.

To Ash, if she manages to read till the very end of this post, I'm so sorry I haven't reply your email, I will do so, don't worry. Do bear with me alright? Hopefully you're doing fine, and that you got your problem settled. Remember, smile smile smile! (:

Stephanie never fails to inject some common sense into me. I feel much better about the whole drama now. Thank you! :]

Hope Lynnie-jie makes a trip to school soon, even for awhile! ;D

Kor's coming back soon this coming Sunday! You promised we'll go to the Da Vinci exhibition together, so hurry back! :D

It's very thoughtful of Najwa to get me a purse in the shape of a cute cat, knowing that I like cats, and just because she thought I would like it. Thank you!

There, a long entry after not updating for so long.

Might be doing another disappearing act once more.

Till then, cheers!

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I remembered Veena sending these photos to me just so that I have something to update my blog with. So here they are, in their rightful places in my blog for everyone to see. (:



Miss Stepho aka Hubby who has to be the first friend in my entire sixteen years on planet Earth to buy me cakes as a birthday pressie.

What more that these cakes are from Moonlight Cafe, a nice little place with a great environment, not forgetting their awesome Spaghetti Bolognese. Will always have a splendiferous meal there with my aunt and two cousins every time we come over to visit them.

I digress.

It was a very sweet gesture on Stepho darling's side, hence her earning the title of Little Miss Sweet! ;)

I know I said it before, but thanks so much for them cakes, Stepho dear! Very sweet and thoughtful of you, as always, and I hardly eat cakes. Haha.

My shophaholic partner who never fails to bring out my girly side, and also an excellent friend to take pictures with, and have pictures taken of. What can I say, we love the camera! :D

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Crash
That was you and me
Started out so innocently
Shattered on the ground
I hear the sound

Crash
Ringing in my ears
I still feel the sting of my tears
Someone wake me
I can’t seem to break free!

"Go on,
Get out of my head!
I’m on the wrong side of a parallel universe
Am I alive or just dead?
I’ve been stumbling in the dark
Living in a crash world."

Hush
Don’t say one more word
At this point the truth seems absurd
'Cos who we were
Is gone forever.

Crushed
Underneath the fears
Everything’s so twisted and weird
Someone save me
I can’t seem to break free!

"Go on,
Get out of my head!
I’m on the wrong side of a parallel universe
Am I alive or just dead?
I’ve been stumbling in the dark
Living in a crash world."

Slow motion
Devastation
Should have seen it coming
But I couldn’t do nothing
Emotion
Desperation
Someone save me
I can’t seem to break free!

"Go on,
Get out of my head!
I’m on the wrong side of a parallel universe
Am I alive or just dead?
I’ve been stumbling in the dark
Living in a crash world."

Crash world..
Crash world..
-Crash World, ©Hilary Duff.-

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