This entry is specially dedicated to an awesome friend. Given our friendship of seventeen years and still counting, we are just as close as real sisters. We have known each other since birth. Our birthdays only have a difference of five days in between. We're both April babies, and our mothers are friends too. Maybe that's why we can click so well.

Our friendship goes way back,
when both of us were still in diapers.
That's when it all started.
She lives in Australia. But honestly, distance has never been a problem for the both of us. I'm thankful for the invention of computers and the discovery of the Internet. It made communication a whole lot easier, since we actually kept in touch through snail mail before. Then, emails happened. And finally, MSN conversations till this very day. We have been keeping this up for so long, even I don't know how many years we have been at it now.

Throughout the years, I treat her as my confidante. I know I can trust her. I don't need to worry about being backstabbed by her. I know she is capable of keeping my secrets, and there is absolutely no need for her to spread rumours about me. She's not that kind of girl. And I know she knows she can trust me with her problems too, no matter what kind of problems they are. I'm more than happy to listen, and will do my very best to help out. We have been through a lot together. I can talk to her about practically just about anything. I can always depend on her to give me the best advice at times whenever I lose my head over certain issues and isn't capable of thinking straight at all. Both of us have been through quite a lot of drama. She has been there for me when I was having some of the biggest teen crises.

When I found out that I was diagnosed with cancer, I thought it would only make sense for me to inform my loved ones about it. I wanted to let them know, not to make them worry, but it's because I respect them as my friends. To be honest, I don't think anyone had an idea of what lymphoma is exactly about. Even myself, till only recently when I did my research and found out in detail what is lymphoma and what does it do. We're all familiar with the more common forms of cancer - breast cancer, brain cancer, lung cancer and intestinal cancer. It doesn't help that the lymphatic system in Biology is one of my worst topics, I never understood that chapter at all. So this friend of mine, you don't sound bimbotic at all. If you really want to know what bimbotic is, it actually refers to all those questions I was asked. You know what I mean.

Said friend wrote a note on Facebook very much recently, titled 'The Most Beautiful Girl I Know'. I happen to be the subject of her note. I couldn't help but tear up reading through her note. It was sincere and honest. I was and still am immensely flattered by her words, I never thought of myself that way.

I just want to be a good friend to her, just like how I want to be a good friend to the friends I really treasure. I want her to know that I'll always have a shoulder for her to lean on if she feels down. I'm there for her if she needs my opinion on something, no matter how major or minor that something is. I'm there to back her up on whatever she chooses to do, and I'll support her all the way and cheer her on. I just want her to be happy.

All of us have our emotional and weak sides. It's only human, so it's perfectly fine. (: I didn't really think of it as comforting you, but I didn't want you to feel upset or worried about it. No need to worry at all, I'll definitely be strong. I'll stay optimistic and positive about my condition. I'm happy with all the love and support I have been getting from my loved ones, including you. I'll come out of this battle very much alive. I'll still be the same Leonie you have known for all your life.

We're all beautiful. You're very beautiful to me as well, from both the inside and out. It has been the greatest honour of getting to know you and being your friend for seventeen years. And for more to come!

I don't know what life would be like without you either. It's just quite horrifying to even think about. I'll pass. I'm blessed to have a friend, a sister like you.

I'm not much of a believer of the phrase 'friends forever',

Teresa Tran,
you're making it happen.

Wherever the venue is,
our time will be well spent making pleasant, happy memories.
This is my promise to you.

Girlfriend, sister, confidante -
I love you too.
♥

0 comment(s):

Post a Comment

If I didn't attend RYLA back in 2008,
I would have missed out on knowing these awesome people.
They really brought a whole lot of colour to my once dull life.
I can feel really comfortable being myself without a worry around them.

I mentioned before how all of us are of different ages and social backgrounds.
Still, that didn't stop us from all the laughter and fun we had,
and I really look forward to more moments like these in the future.

Through them,
I got to know more awesome people.
It's amazing how I wasn't really that close to these people during RYLA,
with the exception of Fiona and Karyn who were my roommates.
We only bonded properly after RYLA.

They play a huge role in making me realise that real friends do exist after all.

To my awesomenesses,
here's to more awesome memories and all those years ahead of us.
Thank you for being in my life.
♥

0 comment(s):

Post a Comment


I decided to change the skin to something similar like the one at my cancer blog. Simple and clean, the way that I like it to be at the moment.

If you happen to drop by and see things around here in a huge mess, do pardon me. ;)

In the end, I realised that I couldn't abandon this blog too much after all. There's many everyday issues that are not relevant to my cancer blog, but I still need a space to express those thoughts and opinions. And so, this trusty blog of mine of many years will carry on letting me do what I do best here. Rant.

Okay, just kidding. I'll blog like how I'd always did before.

Since I found out that there are teachers reading my blog, I'll keep it safe for now. I can't use any vulgarities, or mention about topics that are bound to cause Drama to happen, with a capital D. I cannot talk about certain things freely, least I get sued for being too open-minded.

Ugh. I am very tempted to change my blog link.

But anyway, here's an open question to all. Should I display my archives or not? Leave me a comment or a tag. Temporarily, my previous entries will not be displayed as I'd recently went through some of them, and knowing that I did accidentally rant about my teachers. Oops. My bad.

Till a more interesting post, cheers!

0 comment(s):

Post a Comment

I recently opened a cancer blog.
This is for all to see.

Whether you're a close friend,
someone I know,
someone I don't know.

To those who wanted to know about my updates sooooo much, (sarcasm intended)
even if you're a nosy parker who only finds me as an interesting subject to talk about,
even if you have nothing better to do.

For the curious, for those concerned,
for them who care, for those I love.

Welcome to dancingpapercranes.

Click here to visit.

Comments are welcomed.
I'll be more than happy to respond,
whether they are just random hellos,
words of support which I'm sincerely grateful for,
ugly comments in attempt to discourage me,
questions about me being a cancer patient,
unintelligent questions on whether I'm going to die or not,
or even interviews on my life. (I wish. Haha!)

I might be updating less often on this blog now though.

See you there!

0 comment(s):

Post a Comment

I WANT RESPECT.
The message is clear.
Enough said.
-I want respect, ©ddeee.-
Hello fellow readers.

I have very good reasons on why I haven't been updating so often as I had used to before.

Well, one of the reasons could be because of how overwhelmingly popular I'd suddenly become on Facebook, especially. I'm really touched by how my close friends, namely Khai and Gup who put in sooo much effort in taking videos of the lovely familar faces in SIGS, Omega and even those from SMK Dato' Penggawa Timur. Man, you both rock. Thanks so much. (':

Which reminds me, to everybody who are in both videos, thank you all for the well-wishes, prayers, kind words, encouragement and support. All your words are highly appreciated. (:

Ah, yes. Back to my point.

I found out about certain things that aren't very pleasant to the ears.

Going back to school last Thursday during May's birthday, and seeing so many familiar faces was really awesome. I couldn't have asked for more.

But of course, there's always the good and bad side to everything.

Teacher A: Leonie! I saw your bald pictures on Facebook already. Very edgy huh?
Leonie: Oh gosh. *hopes for ground to open up and swallow her whole immediately.*

Source: Hey Leonie! This teacher found your blog. I saw your blog link on a piece of paper she was fiddling with.
Leonie: ...what?!

Okay, that does it.

First of all, I am fully aware that having an online life makes me very open to unwanted attention and eyes to pry upon my life.

Before I was diagnosed with lymphoma, I had a pretty undisturbed life regarding this blog of mine, my Facebook, etc. Only my friends were open to my online life. Period.

And now, apparently I'm known as The Girl Who Has Cancer At Seventeen, which makes a lot of sense to why I'm suddenly having an overwhelming amount of emails in my inbox, and of course, the endless number of friend requests on Facebook. And yes, some of these friend requests happen to be those from my school teachers.

Now now, don't be mistaken dear teachers. I mean, those who happened to stumble across this humble abode of mine.

It's not that I do not want to accept your friend requests, but like I had mentioned before, my online life was only open to my peers and friends before this.

It's this personal principle of mine to not add my cousins, relatives, aunties, uncles, even my own parents on Facebook. Or anywhere else online, at that.

Teachers, are also included in the list. With the exception of Pn. Meerita, who is unfortunately not teaching in our school anymore. I do miss her lessons, honestly. Before she taught me English, I never properly enjoyed English lessons. En. Ismail managed to change that perception of mine, thankfully. I miss his lessons too. Sigh.

I understand, my dear teachers. You want to add me up on Facebook to keep up with my latest updates, to be aware of what I'm going through.

To put it really bluntly here, I do not appreciate it at all.

Even my own parents, they are perfectly aware I own a blog, have a Facebook account, a normal online life as a teenager.

But my parents actually bother to respect my privacy online. They trust me enough to handle my online life with care.

So I'm actually quite miffed when I found out my school teachers have been placing in a lot of effort just to go through my life.

Look, if there's anything, my respected school teachers, you can always call. From what I had found out from my friends, a lot of you have been asking around for my phone number. Isn't that enough? I would be glad to enlighten you about my condition, updates on my treatment, and such.

It's really not necessary at all to dig up information about me online.

I, like any other teenager, deserve some freedom of speech online. A way of expressing myself to the online community.

And having school teachers to invade my online life like this, I'm losing another channel to creatively write and express myself.

So please, dear teachers. I mean no offense at all.


I really respect all of you, being my elders, my school teachers. People who are more educated than me, experienced than me in living life.

This matter disturbed me greatly. I can even say that I'm still attempting to recover from the trauma this has caused me. It has caused me to not update as often as I would like.

Going through chemotherapy, knowing the fact that I have cancer at 17, that's not the worst part. I'm strong enough to live with that fact. I'd accepted the fact already.

But having my online life checked up and my life being regarded as some other random Hollywood celebrity, to have the latest news, rumours and gossip about me being passed around like papparazzo craving for the latest ups and downs of Kong Leonie?

0 comment(s):

Post a Comment

As what Sham had previously blogged about,
there is this one episode in which the girls of ANTM Cycle 6 go bald.

Here is that photoshoot,
and photo credits go to this site here.

Sara.

Joanie.

Nnenna.

Danielle.

Jade.

Mollie Sue.

Brooke.

Gina.

Leslie.

Wendy.
©Pascal Demeester and America's Next Top Model.

Not all of the shoot's photos are here though.
I only posted those that I really like.

Thanks to Sham dear for reminding me about this particular ANTM episode.
This was one of my inspirations to go bald. (:

I'm really inspired to do a similar shoot though.
Sham, you promised me you'll bedazzle my head.

Work your magic on me! ;)

0 comment(s):

Post a Comment

                                                   

It’s not an English name I came up with for myself. My mother is indeed a genius in coming up with such a splendid name for me. Although my name has been unfortunately mutilated (nicknames are excluded) over the past years, full credits to my mum for my current identity.

I’m certainly looking forward to changing the word ‘patient’ to ‘survivor’! If you’re interested to read about my journey in battling lymphoma, you can click here to proceed to my cancer blog.

Ironic, I know; this blog is mainly pink instead. I like all colours actually, but I find myself having an affinity to the colour green. In fact, I can safely say that green is my soul colour.

Languages, music, fashion, photography, cultures, dance, literature, writing; just about anything, really. The arts truly intrigue me, especially thought-provoking pieces. Of course, the arts play a major role in inspiring me in my everyday life.

I don’t have a favourite genre – I read any book that interests me!

I am a trained right-hander from young, since apparently being left-handed is considered ‘wrong’. Basically, I’m ambidextrous! No wonder I find it easier to air guitar using my left hand than my right; I simply relate to the arts than subjects that deal with logical thinking better, too.

A stubborn Bull I am, too. I abhor being rushed. I prefer doing matters at my own reasonable pace. I don’t particularly like changes in my routine, but I can adapt quite easily. I’m a very practical person as well. I enjoy the beautiful things in life, but that doesn’t make me shun ugliness at all. Besides, it all depends on how one perceives beauty. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder!

Still am, but I’m slowly learning to accept imperfection into my life. Also, I’m doing my best to erase the many expectations I have so I could one day master the art of letting go and freeing myself to simple happiness and joy.

Compared to before, I’m less dramatic nowadays. Language-wise, I attempt to blog flawlessly in English and speak proper English online with my peers. Call me a Grammar Nazi all you want, but that’s how I roll. I only converse in perfect English in formal situations and during my dramatic outbursts. Otherwise, I’m absolutely capable of communicating like the average Malaysian!

It’s a different issue altogether when you’re forced to learn for the sake of getting good grades, though. Other than that, I’m open to new information and knowledge anytime! I especially would like to learn more languages and pick up new musical instruments.

…are just some of the things I would love to do in the near future, hopefully!

the basic rules apply. If you respect me, I’ll respect you. If you happen to be someone who has low EQ skills, I’ll try to be tolerant but my patience is definitely limited. I’m observant when it comes to human behaviour. I’m a person of many opinions, but I don’t voice them out unless I trust you enough; I’m very honest and candid when it comes to the people I can trust. Even though I trust very easily, not everybody can prove that they’re all that nice. Hurt me, and I’ll only defend myself if necessary. Hurt my family or my friends – you won’t find me holding back.

Is there anything else you would like to know about me?
Throw me your questions and/or doubts here! I honestly have nothing to hide, so you’ll expect the truth and nothing but the truth.

It’s only how I phrase my answers that you’ll have to be aware of.
Or…you can click hereto go back to reading!

This entry is specially dedicated to an awesome friend. Given our friendship of seventeen years and still counting, we are just as close as real sisters. We have known each other since birth. Our birthdays only have a difference of five days in between. We're both April babies, and our mothers are friends too. Maybe that's why we can click so well.

Our friendship goes way back,
when both of us were still in diapers.
That's when it all started.
She lives in Australia. But honestly, distance has never been a problem for the both of us. I'm thankful for the invention of computers and the discovery of the Internet. It made communication a whole lot easier, since we actually kept in touch through snail mail before. Then, emails happened. And finally, MSN conversations till this very day. We have been keeping this up for so long, even I don't know how many years we have been at it now.

Throughout the years, I treat her as my confidante. I know I can trust her. I don't need to worry about being backstabbed by her. I know she is capable of keeping my secrets, and there is absolutely no need for her to spread rumours about me. She's not that kind of girl. And I know she knows she can trust me with her problems too, no matter what kind of problems they are. I'm more than happy to listen, and will do my very best to help out. We have been through a lot together. I can talk to her about practically just about anything. I can always depend on her to give me the best advice at times whenever I lose my head over certain issues and isn't capable of thinking straight at all. Both of us have been through quite a lot of drama. She has been there for me when I was having some of the biggest teen crises.

When I found out that I was diagnosed with cancer, I thought it would only make sense for me to inform my loved ones about it. I wanted to let them know, not to make them worry, but it's because I respect them as my friends. To be honest, I don't think anyone had an idea of what lymphoma is exactly about. Even myself, till only recently when I did my research and found out in detail what is lymphoma and what does it do. We're all familiar with the more common forms of cancer - breast cancer, brain cancer, lung cancer and intestinal cancer. It doesn't help that the lymphatic system in Biology is one of my worst topics, I never understood that chapter at all. So this friend of mine, you don't sound bimbotic at all. If you really want to know what bimbotic is, it actually refers to all those questions I was asked. You know what I mean.

Said friend wrote a note on Facebook very much recently, titled 'The Most Beautiful Girl I Know'. I happen to be the subject of her note. I couldn't help but tear up reading through her note. It was sincere and honest. I was and still am immensely flattered by her words, I never thought of myself that way.

I just want to be a good friend to her, just like how I want to be a good friend to the friends I really treasure. I want her to know that I'll always have a shoulder for her to lean on if she feels down. I'm there for her if she needs my opinion on something, no matter how major or minor that something is. I'm there to back her up on whatever she chooses to do, and I'll support her all the way and cheer her on. I just want her to be happy.

All of us have our emotional and weak sides. It's only human, so it's perfectly fine. (: I didn't really think of it as comforting you, but I didn't want you to feel upset or worried about it. No need to worry at all, I'll definitely be strong. I'll stay optimistic and positive about my condition. I'm happy with all the love and support I have been getting from my loved ones, including you. I'll come out of this battle very much alive. I'll still be the same Leonie you have known for all your life.

We're all beautiful. You're very beautiful to me as well, from both the inside and out. It has been the greatest honour of getting to know you and being your friend for seventeen years. And for more to come!

I don't know what life would be like without you either. It's just quite horrifying to even think about. I'll pass. I'm blessed to have a friend, a sister like you.

I'm not much of a believer of the phrase 'friends forever',

Teresa Tran,
you're making it happen.

Wherever the venue is,
our time will be well spent making pleasant, happy memories.
This is my promise to you.

Girlfriend, sister, confidante -
I love you too.
♥

0 comment(s):

Post a Comment

If I didn't attend RYLA back in 2008,
I would have missed out on knowing these awesome people.
They really brought a whole lot of colour to my once dull life.
I can feel really comfortable being myself without a worry around them.

I mentioned before how all of us are of different ages and social backgrounds.
Still, that didn't stop us from all the laughter and fun we had,
and I really look forward to more moments like these in the future.

Through them,
I got to know more awesome people.
It's amazing how I wasn't really that close to these people during RYLA,
with the exception of Fiona and Karyn who were my roommates.
We only bonded properly after RYLA.

They play a huge role in making me realise that real friends do exist after all.

To my awesomenesses,
here's to more awesome memories and all those years ahead of us.
Thank you for being in my life.
♥

0 comment(s):

Post a Comment


I decided to change the skin to something similar like the one at my cancer blog. Simple and clean, the way that I like it to be at the moment.

If you happen to drop by and see things around here in a huge mess, do pardon me. ;)

In the end, I realised that I couldn't abandon this blog too much after all. There's many everyday issues that are not relevant to my cancer blog, but I still need a space to express those thoughts and opinions. And so, this trusty blog of mine of many years will carry on letting me do what I do best here. Rant.

Okay, just kidding. I'll blog like how I'd always did before.

Since I found out that there are teachers reading my blog, I'll keep it safe for now. I can't use any vulgarities, or mention about topics that are bound to cause Drama to happen, with a capital D. I cannot talk about certain things freely, least I get sued for being too open-minded.

Ugh. I am very tempted to change my blog link.

But anyway, here's an open question to all. Should I display my archives or not? Leave me a comment or a tag. Temporarily, my previous entries will not be displayed as I'd recently went through some of them, and knowing that I did accidentally rant about my teachers. Oops. My bad.

Till a more interesting post, cheers!

0 comment(s):

Post a Comment

I recently opened a cancer blog.
This is for all to see.

Whether you're a close friend,
someone I know,
someone I don't know.

To those who wanted to know about my updates sooooo much, (sarcasm intended)
even if you're a nosy parker who only finds me as an interesting subject to talk about,
even if you have nothing better to do.

For the curious, for those concerned,
for them who care, for those I love.

Welcome to dancingpapercranes.

Click here to visit.

Comments are welcomed.
I'll be more than happy to respond,
whether they are just random hellos,
words of support which I'm sincerely grateful for,
ugly comments in attempt to discourage me,
questions about me being a cancer patient,
unintelligent questions on whether I'm going to die or not,
or even interviews on my life. (I wish. Haha!)

I might be updating less often on this blog now though.

See you there!

0 comment(s):

Post a Comment

I WANT RESPECT.
The message is clear.
Enough said.
-I want respect, ©ddeee.-
Hello fellow readers.

I have very good reasons on why I haven't been updating so often as I had used to before.

Well, one of the reasons could be because of how overwhelmingly popular I'd suddenly become on Facebook, especially. I'm really touched by how my close friends, namely Khai and Gup who put in sooo much effort in taking videos of the lovely familar faces in SIGS, Omega and even those from SMK Dato' Penggawa Timur. Man, you both rock. Thanks so much. (':

Which reminds me, to everybody who are in both videos, thank you all for the well-wishes, prayers, kind words, encouragement and support. All your words are highly appreciated. (:

Ah, yes. Back to my point.

I found out about certain things that aren't very pleasant to the ears.

Going back to school last Thursday during May's birthday, and seeing so many familiar faces was really awesome. I couldn't have asked for more.

But of course, there's always the good and bad side to everything.

Teacher A: Leonie! I saw your bald pictures on Facebook already. Very edgy huh?
Leonie: Oh gosh. *hopes for ground to open up and swallow her whole immediately.*

Source: Hey Leonie! This teacher found your blog. I saw your blog link on a piece of paper she was fiddling with.
Leonie: ...what?!

Okay, that does it.

First of all, I am fully aware that having an online life makes me very open to unwanted attention and eyes to pry upon my life.

Before I was diagnosed with lymphoma, I had a pretty undisturbed life regarding this blog of mine, my Facebook, etc. Only my friends were open to my online life. Period.

And now, apparently I'm known as The Girl Who Has Cancer At Seventeen, which makes a lot of sense to why I'm suddenly having an overwhelming amount of emails in my inbox, and of course, the endless number of friend requests on Facebook. And yes, some of these friend requests happen to be those from my school teachers.

Now now, don't be mistaken dear teachers. I mean, those who happened to stumble across this humble abode of mine.

It's not that I do not want to accept your friend requests, but like I had mentioned before, my online life was only open to my peers and friends before this.

It's this personal principle of mine to not add my cousins, relatives, aunties, uncles, even my own parents on Facebook. Or anywhere else online, at that.

Teachers, are also included in the list. With the exception of Pn. Meerita, who is unfortunately not teaching in our school anymore. I do miss her lessons, honestly. Before she taught me English, I never properly enjoyed English lessons. En. Ismail managed to change that perception of mine, thankfully. I miss his lessons too. Sigh.

I understand, my dear teachers. You want to add me up on Facebook to keep up with my latest updates, to be aware of what I'm going through.

To put it really bluntly here, I do not appreciate it at all.

Even my own parents, they are perfectly aware I own a blog, have a Facebook account, a normal online life as a teenager.

But my parents actually bother to respect my privacy online. They trust me enough to handle my online life with care.

So I'm actually quite miffed when I found out my school teachers have been placing in a lot of effort just to go through my life.

Look, if there's anything, my respected school teachers, you can always call. From what I had found out from my friends, a lot of you have been asking around for my phone number. Isn't that enough? I would be glad to enlighten you about my condition, updates on my treatment, and such.

It's really not necessary at all to dig up information about me online.

I, like any other teenager, deserve some freedom of speech online. A way of expressing myself to the online community.

And having school teachers to invade my online life like this, I'm losing another channel to creatively write and express myself.

So please, dear teachers. I mean no offense at all.


I really respect all of you, being my elders, my school teachers. People who are more educated than me, experienced than me in living life.

This matter disturbed me greatly. I can even say that I'm still attempting to recover from the trauma this has caused me. It has caused me to not update as often as I would like.

Going through chemotherapy, knowing the fact that I have cancer at 17, that's not the worst part. I'm strong enough to live with that fact. I'd accepted the fact already.

But having my online life checked up and my life being regarded as some other random Hollywood celebrity, to have the latest news, rumours and gossip about me being passed around like papparazzo craving for the latest ups and downs of Kong Leonie?

0 comment(s):

Post a Comment

As what Sham had previously blogged about,
there is this one episode in which the girls of ANTM Cycle 6 go bald.

Here is that photoshoot,
and photo credits go to this site here.

Sara.

Joanie.

Nnenna.

Danielle.

Jade.

Mollie Sue.

Brooke.

Gina.

Leslie.

Wendy.
©Pascal Demeester and America's Next Top Model.

Not all of the shoot's photos are here though.
I only posted those that I really like.

Thanks to Sham dear for reminding me about this particular ANTM episode.
This was one of my inspirations to go bald. (:

I'm really inspired to do a similar shoot though.
Sham, you promised me you'll bedazzle my head.

Work your magic on me! ;)

0 comment(s):

Post a Comment