Reactions more like it.

My heart skipped a beat when I read Hazel's latest entry.

Yes, I really didn't expect my name to pop up in her blog, as I don't think I'm that a major topic to blog about.

But it did happen.

And now my response.

Hazel.

I seriously did not ever expect an apology from you. For some reason.

But let me tell you this if you ever come here.

Yes, I admit, I had always thought you were the one spreading rumours about me. I really want to doubt it as it's really plain downright lowly, but too many people had mentioned that it's you who did it, and I think it's better off if I clear off my doubts first.

Even though if it's ever true, it's not about me that I'm quite mad about. From many different sources, it was said that you mentioned stuff about other people too, like Najwa. I really don't mind nor care what people crap about me, but about others, that's pretty bad. Especially when it seems so two-faced of you guys. Pardon me, but this is just from the what-I'd-heard point of view so if you feel offended, don't blame me. It's because we, which is Najwa and me, had been receiving the cold treatment from almost everybody in class and it's been really disturbing to know that people are against us just because of debate. Which is really dumb as we're joining just to represent the school, definitely not for abusing our power.

And about the popularity factor. I had never said it was you. Or anybody. I was just pointing this to someone who had changed a lot since I thought I knew her. And that's sincerely for me to know. And for anybody to find out. Especially HER. But yeah, it's not you and I had never meant for it to imply that it was you or anybody.

I rather forgive and forget actually. But I'd never had a grudge against you guys. Serious. What for?

And blame the sensitivity or whatever, I still feel the sarcasm coming.

So if I sound sarcastic and it offends you in any way, understand that it's my nature to turn on the sarcasm in me to defend myself from the sarcasm of others.

The sincerity's really cool. That's real.

Anyway, whatever it was that happened in Form 1, I can't remember at all.

So this blog entry of mine shall decide whether we'll stay friends or go our separate ways.

This will be the deciding factor.

I'm praying for a blood free war.

*****
Third round against Perling tomorrow.

Bless us, Convent's next if we win.

*****
Najwa, it wasn't funny when I said the doa after getting my Science marks. I was really DAMN relieved okay XD

*****
To the tagger with the name of 'spareme'. You're such a noble, courageous, and popular optimist. Please revert all the words I had mentioned to their respective antonyms.

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My best of the best piano teachers, Miss Ng Xu Ann. =) She's the one on the left by the way.

Why do I ah-dore her so?

1. Cos she's the most sporting piano teach I had ever have so far.
2. Cos she lets me have the freedom of choosing my songs for my exams, not like the majority of piano teachers that are so paranoid over their students and choose their songs for them. There are it's advantages, but I prefer to do the choosing. I AM a Taurus-ean ;)
3. She understands my constantly increasing workload and never-ending CCAs in school is causing my piano practice to go down, but she never scolds or nags me =D Though I'm gonna change this soon. No more getting weird grades for my practical. I'm gonna get at least a pass to redeem myself V(^.^)V And make her proud of course!
   
4. She's like my best friend. I can tell her everything. And we really can talk about anything under the sky! =)
5. We always share our problems. Whether it's about her work or my school affairs we never fail to whip up solutions for the other :)
6. She's always supports me in whatever I do. She is also another that doesn't judge me by my cover.
   
7. And most importantly, she taught me how to play the piano with 'feeling' and expression. She had taught me the true art of piano playing. And that's with talking in class for 50 minutes and banging scales and songs for a mere ten minutes! XD

And which one of you have a piano teacher that is photogenic and even has a Friendster profile?

Never challenge me in this aspect XD

She's one cool teach! =D

*****
Had another debate meeting today.

You should be well informed that Asrama 1 is mosquito-infested.

And it HAD to be a day when all the hostel girls are NOT IN.

So the mozzies took the opportunity to taste our sweet blood more than ten times.

Not like I counted but yeah, it's a lot.

This is the first time I went without tying my hair and looking all selekeh with aunty-like slippers.

And I did my Math exam in a time span of 1 and a half hours XD

Which I'm so sure I was gonna fail at cos Miss Nav happily counted in the time when we started digging through the hostel girls' bags for a compass and protractor. That alone took 15 minutes.

And the freaking compass BROKE.

It was already broken it seems. But we managed to make it worse..?

Heheh. Our apologies to the girl who owns the pink pencil case with stripes.

And please pray for my success in Maths to gain the 85 passing mark which only our class have and I don't know why the heck she has to do that and I'll pray for yours too ;)

Ah yes, my thanks to Irwin for keeping me on the right track.

To think I was on the verge of QUITTING debate.

*****This is a message to a person that could be a dear friend but is now not really so.

To Sue-Ann. I know you don't read my blog but I hope you do so you can wake up from La-La Land, vocab credits to Sherrylee.

Do you actually know we, your so-called friends are still on not so bad terms with you only to avoid you from freaggin' cutting yourself again? It's not worth throwing away your life like this for stupid, naive and childish teenage love which you have to exaggerate too much on it.

Why am I saying this? Even though you only attempted suicide twice?

Cos all of us know how unstable you can get emotionally. You make the biggest fuss over the smallest matters. You think only you're right. You expect the world to be at your service 24/7. You criticize people, but people can't even comment about you. You can talk about your own self for hours, but you won't even give a minute to the ones you're ranting at.

Your weaknesses? You get influenced by people too easily. You are so naive to believe everything people say. You can't stand up at your own two feet. You depend on people like they're your oxygen and you need them to practically breathe. You can't even face the simplest of matters in life. If that's the case, how are you ever gonna face the real world?

Welcome to reality.

You know what? I'm really sorry to be so harsh to you in school, but that's because we want you to realize what's going on without us painfully saying it in your face. But seriously, if there's still no freaking reaction from you, we are going to tell you straight in your face, and drill it in your head, on the last day of school before term break. So you can think and ponder about it.

And you know, you can stop copying my style and attitude, and the way I speak as well. To me, copying me is no form of flattery, I'll just think you are an empty-headed human who doesn't have their own stand nor imagination and creativity. And I seriously don't respect people like that.

In fact, I look down on them. I feel sorry for them.

For living such a boring and aimless life.

You can also stop ragging on about your crushes which change every week. I was never interested. In fact, it's so boring I hardly listen to what you're saying. Love never really was an applicable feeling to me. I had never felt love for the past 9 years.

And you also claim to have family problems? Please. Listen to the people around you and you'll know why we don't care what heck about you.

What are your problems?

Your father's busy. Your mum nags. Your brother can't stop bullying you and making fun of you.

THAT'S NOTHING compared to the people surrounding you.

You have friends whose parents are divorced. They don't have a complete family like you.

You have friends who have parents that are in major financial difficulties. You have a dad who's a doctor and you're reasonably much more able than the most of us in the $ aspect.

You have friends who have their loved ones that had passed on. Your family members are alive and healthy as well. Appreciate your family for God's sake! And to think you said her late father was CRAZY. You never considered how hurt she felt when she heard that.

You are a selfish, childish and idiotic bitch.

Yes, you are not even a biatch. You are a bitch.

Pardon the vulgarity dear readers.

And would you like to know what she does to gain attention everyone?

She throws a tantrum and bangs the table,
just to get the peers to see her.

She makes a fuss from a small matter,
so that we're care and not ignore her. (even if we wanted to.)

She wails and screams when she gets frustrated,
the whole class looks, she smirks, then dozes.

When she emos, nobody bothers,
when she's gone, all of us ponder.

What we think was this simple sentence,
"Thank god she's gone, it's all for the better."

I'm just representing everyone, and yes I'm not exaggerating, EVERYONE who just can't stand your attitude.

If you want real friends my dear, you should try and change your attitude man. Seriously.

If you really end up reading this, I rather if you feel offended, cos that way you'll get all huffed up over my meanness and you can ignore me AT LAST.

To everybody who's reading, I'm never this mean, but I really have to get this out and wake this girl from her own imaginary land.

And as somebody who's pretty neutral with the friends factor, I do hope she can change for the better.

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Why do I say it's amazing?

Because seriously, I don't remember myself updating that often in a month. Lol.

But yeah, we managed to kick some Universiti 1 butts.

What is it with all the fuss saying that they're sons and daughters of university lecturers (hence the name of their school), thus making them out to be the best debaters of all the non-premier schools?

"WELL WELL WELL", as I quote and unquote from the second and third speaker of their team, that is merely an assumption.

A misconception by all of us.

And we were actually fooled for a moment there! Shame on me.

It's just a strong front to mislead us. Just like the first team we battled against recently.

From this debate, we can conclude the following:

• Private schools are dominating the world. Wakakakakakakaka.
• The second speaker is a liar.
• The third speaker beats around the bush, and thank goodness the mike hated him and moved downwards non-stop xD
• The first speaker and the reserve in that yellow shirt was nice, especially the reserve, he gave us some advice for the next round. And it was something about chocolate and vanilla ice-cream. My thanks to him.
• Raudzah is Nuramalina, the first speaker's cousin! I see the resemblance. Hehe.
• We're getting pizza for the semi-finals xD Me and my craving for FOOD.
• And we got exempted from tomorrow's exam! Hurrah! Like duh, I didn't study one crap shit about a thing and I'm glad for this miracle. (My terrible sorries to Naomi and especially Manmit, I really have no confidence to take the freak test tomorrow because I am totally unprepared! So lucks to you guys first!)
• My heartiest of all heartiest congrats to Sherrylee for attaining the position of best speaker. I'm so freaking proud of you even though you're sick and actually look half-dead on stage, till the time came for you to perform. Way to go! =D
• I bet the Universiti speakers didn't think much about us when we insisted on meeting them as we were being nice and all while they tried to pry into our strategies. Naughty naughty, look what you got as your pressie XDD
• Nadhirah's a very nice and patient Maths teacher! As you all should know by now, I'm a freaking dunce in Math. Manmit and I had a great time ranting at her about Pn Norma's crap teaching for Sejarah.
• There's more once I get the real update from Michelle xD

*****
I now seriously know what a boring person I am.

My thanks to Irwin for letting me find out by myself through your indirect speech? Lol.

Any of you are highly welcomed to train me to upgrade my speaking skills.

"Stay for the change in Manmit's blog. Soon." XD

PS: You guys are such two-faced idiots. And you claim to hate them but guess what, you were always one yourself.

PPS: As of today, Najwa and I are officially husband and wife XD Speak about destressing! We even made this totally ah-dorable Siamese-like kitten our child! OhMiGosh we are so ideal for each other XDD

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And yes.

My school is the only dumbass one to have it's annual Sports Day on a freaking SUNDAY.

To get my attendence, I was forced to skip FOUR hours of tuition in OMEGA.

But it was okay as well, as the following events did/did not occur:

• No sunburn! Though yes, I did get darker and my scalp could fry eggs. Ask Jasmine.
• No spending of money, as I'm running out of duckets.
• More words exchanged between all of us.
• Sneaked into another house's waiting area (namely Red House) in my black prefect Tee.
• Shared KFC with Jas, Gurpreet and Nadwa. Thanks to Fairuz's Mum =D
• Blew wonderfully delicious looking bubbles that were popping around everywhere ;)

And how can I forget the camwhoring sessions XD

Us being avid Green House supporters? Shreks of the Day XD

I couldn't stay for the results as I had relatives coming over, but apparently Red House grabbed everything this year. Congrats anyway? Hehe.

More pics will be uploaded here when Gurpreet does the uploading.

*****

I missed Sherry's b'day party in CS. Obviously I can't go, and my sincerest apologies to her.

And I really liked this picture among the rest during their outing.

Gorgeously amazing. They looked like happy people in this =)

And I did convey my birthday greetings to the birthday girl, but just to make it official:

Many happy returns! =D

*****I found the real friend in you.

The reason why in the seven wonders of the world would I put this hideous picture of me is because I can hardly find any different pictures of me together with Naomi here. (we need to take more pictures. Like ay-sap.) Anyway it's because I look horrendous you'll definitely pay all your teeny weeny bit of attention to the wonderfully prettey Naomi xD

I thank you for being there for me to rant ALOT.

I thank you for crapping with me during any minute that we meet up.

I thank you for updating me with stuff cos I am so outdated. (and not laughing at me for that as well, not like some people. *hint hint*)

I thank you for allowing me to handle your blogskins as I need the practise, and it reminds me I wanna have a change as well.

I thank you for trusting and not judging me by my looks.

No amount of thanks can express my gratitude.

And I am really grateful for your entry. Please, you flatter me too much XD And that entry is more than enough. And yes, I'll buy the Spectrum, that's a definite yes =D

Oh yeah, I won't cekik you la. Take your own sweet time. I'll collect your IOU when you're done XD

And yes, those UNWORTHY asses, quote from Naomi, can just vanish from my sight for all I care. If you ever read this, well, try to be meaner and pass more rumours alright? Cos it will give an up to my 'popularity'. Erhem erhem ;D

Credos to Naomi too, I grabbed loads of her pics for this entry.

*****

Amazingly, I survived conducting the assembly today.

Only mistake, I messed up by saying the prayers should go first before the ikrar.

Thank god the teachers only laughed amuzingly at my mistake and didn't thought of the voice raising?

And that's only because Amnah wasn't here.

Apparently she skipped school today cos she was EXHAUSTED.

If she's exhausted, what are we?

We had dropped dead already.

She just sits there in the shade, and what are we doing?

Getting our skin barbecued freshly under the Sun.

The Sun was mocking at our stupidity.

*****
I got my stuff today. AT LONG LAST.

Everything's great. I love every single itty bit of everything xD

I feel like buying more XD

And I shall make a masterpiece from all of them. During term break. Man, that's a long time away. xDD

PS: Anybody knows where I can get colourful and good quality extensions from at a cheap price? I can only see those boring brown ones in JB.

Peace out.

"And the change had been made."

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Yes I Am.

GRRRRRRRRRRRRRR.

RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAR.

MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH.

I'MMA SICK BURDEN TO MOI BRAIN XD

The Artistic Crapper's Quickies, or rather, Long Fasties? XD

1. Changing both Naomi's and my blogskin. Soon.
2. Sport's Day is tomorrow. Gonna be lazing running around under the freaking hot burning evil Sun while I could actually skip all of this and go for freak freezing tuition in Omega. And to those who think I betrayed the marchers for debate, hello, down to earth *insert name/names here*, Miss Nav was the one who asked me to quit. She even told the commander that I'm so out and can't be dedicated into marching and she requested for my exemption. Anyway I really can't go for both at once as marching kills me physically and debate kills me physically AND mentally. Not like I wanna be so freaking sure of myself, aka PERASANTED, but loads of people get jealous of me real quick almost every freak crappy time which leads to messing up my life socially and ripping my heart into a million pieces to disturb the inner me, knowing I can get real fragile at times. I know myself the best, and like it's SO damnation obvious of your new attitude towards me. Fruff off. You guys need a life.
3. Regarding point number 2, I'm glad I'm not pathetically lame like you guys. Attracting attention by beings fakers are not in my list of people that can give me a decent impression. I'm being fairly nice to you all as it's way better than being mean to me and think that's cool..? HAHAH.
4. And about YOU, my 'dear'. You were close to me to share the so-called popularity I had. Please, my only intention was just to be friends with people sharing the same interests. And you faked your way in. Now you're besties with her for the same reason when I lost the plot. And you'd got it. And you know what? I'm so fruff relieved I'm not a biatchy loser like you. Popularity doesn't matter. New but sincere friends do to me. I feel sorry for you, man.
5. Though I didn't really knew you that well, you sort of took the iniatiative to talk to me. And I found out you're pretty decent, despite the slight yellow-sity XD Thanks for being a great friend that I know for only about 50%? ROFLMAO. PS: She really LOVES you! Believe it or not XD
6. Your secrets are safe with me =) To her with the name of a flower and to another whom shares the name of a supermodel.
7. To you, she's using you. Sorry about that, you're still being so nice to her. And guess what, people do hate you! Amazing news? Definitely ;D
8. Stop copying me, to you who assume that I'm your bestie. POI, I don't believe in bffs nor cliques. And I doubt you'll ever know everyone that knows you are just being nice to you to avoid you commiting suicide again. If you want real friends, IMHO, please be yourself and don't depend on others so much. You'll also need to buy yourself some self-respect, dignity and a less naive brain. Money ain't everything. And please get the thought of everything you wish, you'll definitely and must get theory out of your head. . Ain't working I can tell you.
9. I respect these two individuals and I'll be a somebody one day. My career has now been decided.
10. Debate round 2 is coming. Please let us win. We can't lose to Universiti 1. Like duh.
11. Scrabble is around the corner as well. Time for some memorizing.
12. More activities due for me:

• Public Speaking workshop in Muar.
• KWN(Kids Witness News) competition.
• This science ecology whatnot, with me who have no other choice to go with narrator again.
• Drama Competition, District Level.
• Whip up something else or stick to the old plan for FOA. Of course, it's plain logic sense we need to defend our title?
• UIAM. Not even sure whether I'm eligible for this.
• Bound to be more. We're talking about SIGS here. Please.

She will be back. With a new look.

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Ahaks XD Me looking too innocent to be true?! ROFLMAO.

In a very much summarized version of moi, since I'm an obnoxiously lazy piggie.

We practised the whole day.

Went through scripts and possible POIs.

And then while waiting for our opponents, and yes they were late as expected, we were camwhoring our ss' out XDD


From left, like doh, Gurpreet, Naomi, JasmiNE/NO/NI/NU/NA-chan, and Farra!

This picture was retaken after Michelle commented on dear Naomi's hands posing funneh..

..though seriously this pic is the 'cream of the crop', quote from Nicole's speech. Love ya guys =D

And we danced the aforementioned 'Lucky Dance'. There have to be around 20 of us I think. The more the merrier =))

The opposing team from SMK Tmn Tun Aminah arrived. Which consists of 3 girls and 1 guy. I was almost intimidated as they looked really confident, dress real neat, and they looked like they were so sure they can beat us.

With that I decided to give them my infamous stare. I was responded with a stern face from the 1st speaker. Aha, I thought then. Better not mess around too much.

When Miss Nav asked the 1st speaker what form they were from, we were greeted with a very calm and steady voice saying "Form 5."

Okay, my voice in my head said. I think they're much more experienced then the newly elected team we have. But we have a strong team, and we'll get by.

So we got quarantined at 1.15 instead of 1 due to the *ehemehem* opposing team's lateness.

I don't really know what we did in there but yeah, got the motion in the debaters' heads and lucky for us, we got government. Najwa and I were plain bengang-ed when we saw our lot said 'Affirmative', but after having a short glance at the other team's paper, they obviously got opposition. Yay us! *claps hands like London from Suite Life* XD

And so, I took my position to yawn like hell to signal Najwa to go slow XDD

And to show the team my fingers are crossed for them =D

Well, as Michelle said, we definitely didn't win with glory. In fact, I guess we could have also won if we got oppo.

Lesson learned : Looks can be deceiving.

But anyway I'm freak proud of you guys =)

Though they don't read my blog, but this is what I wanna say anyway again and again.

To Najwa : You were GREAT. Nothing else can signify how shit proud I was and still am for ya XD

To Nicole: Congrats for getting best speaker. You deserve it and thank god you didn't do the momentary *insert Nicole's-suddenly-stop-halfway-in-her-speech talk* during the debate. Though that was one thing that got us undepressed from the depression. Heh.

To Sherrylee : You were made for third speaker. Whoosh. Hehe. And don't blame yourself for that freak moment, you really did a splendid job rebutting, and it's just them giving crackpot points that aren't even solid with no freaking statistics.

To Mangalam : The POI suggester and reminder of previous stuff Miss Nav said. (She's also my Maths teacher in the library along with Najwa XD I'm a dunce in Maths, so don't blame me alrighty XDD)

Round 2's coming up next, so stay tuned to the next entry, hopefully on our victory once more =D

The Artistic Crapper's quickies:

1. With Xin Yun we're gonna join forces to find Cik Chee and get her to inform US FIRST when class gets cancelled. We, of course, hate late last minute information.
2. I'm a goner in debate. So to a certain you/you's' who are jealous, I'm sorry this had to happen. Your real colours are shining so brightly I can hardly miss it. And no, I did not bribe my way in or secretly reaudition again. Get over it. I'm not gonna fall in your traps ever.
3. Miss Low actually let me off for being late to her class! Miraculous enough, haha.
4. I know who my real friends are now. School or outta school, at least they don't judge me by looks alone. Thank you for taking time to know the inner me. For those that just know me but still don't read my personality through my looks, your understanding's really greatly appreciated.

I'm getting the hang of the 'new year'.

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Yep, you guessed it.

It's the occasion when we get those lovely $$$-filled red packets or more commonly known as angpaus to us all.

It's also when families reunite to celebrate this festival in harmony =)

The Artistic Crapper's Quickies:

1. We won the first round of debate! Hoo-Hah! Maybe I'll blog about this but if you want the summarized yet just enough to know edition, do refer to Michelle's blog =) And I'd just decided I'll learn to smile more. Credos to Michelle =D
2. I'm actually down with the Flooding Shit Catastrophe aka Flu, Sore throat and Cough at this time of the year. No spicy and oily food for me. No mandarin oranges either =(
3. Been skipping marching ALOT. I might as well quit and concentrate on debate instead XD I'll ask Najwa on this.
4. Sent my essay for the Common-Wealth thingy. Hope they'll at least lemme know what they think about the standard of my essay. Which reminds me I have around 3 more random stories to complete. Oh dear.
5. Gonna miss Autopsy when she leaves for Aussie. Her together with the Overdresser had made me realize many things that will definitely affect what I'll be doing in the future. And I'd learnt to stand up for the interests I'm really dedicated to. Take care there, mate! xDDD And I shall and will take good care of the leg warmers ;)
6. The Lucky Dance©2008 of Najwa Hunny is gonna be a must before every debate and the lot drawing =DDD

HAPPY CHAI-YUH-NISE NEW YEAR XDDD

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I'm not exactly looking forward to CNY, despite the fact I always go all excited over it in school. Farha and Najwa will make very good witnesses.

I'm only doing all of that cos the hols are coming. No school and homework.

No waking up at 5 in the morning.

No need to endure the school stress people give to me.

No need to act so much more differently than the real me.

Why do I need to do that anyway? Why did I put myself upon this unnecessary torture?

And you know what.

I DON'T KNOW EITHER.

I think I AM suffering from schizophrenia.

Or split personality disorder of any kind.

I hate myself for acting like crapshit in school. In front of the peers I mean.

I need to put myself in isolation.

Quarantine me in a small empty room.

Let me ponder what's going on with me.

Let me think what I really want from this life.

And let me scream till my ears bleed.

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It’s not an English name I came up with for myself. My mother is indeed a genius in coming up with such a splendid name for me. Although my name has been unfortunately mutilated (nicknames are excluded) over the past years, full credits to my mum for my current identity.

I’m certainly looking forward to changing the word ‘patient’ to ‘survivor’! If you’re interested to read about my journey in battling lymphoma, you can click here to proceed to my cancer blog.

Ironic, I know; this blog is mainly pink instead. I like all colours actually, but I find myself having an affinity to the colour green. In fact, I can safely say that green is my soul colour.

Languages, music, fashion, photography, cultures, dance, literature, writing; just about anything, really. The arts truly intrigue me, especially thought-provoking pieces. Of course, the arts play a major role in inspiring me in my everyday life.

I don’t have a favourite genre – I read any book that interests me!

I am a trained right-hander from young, since apparently being left-handed is considered ‘wrong’. Basically, I’m ambidextrous! No wonder I find it easier to air guitar using my left hand than my right; I simply relate to the arts than subjects that deal with logical thinking better, too.

A stubborn Bull I am, too. I abhor being rushed. I prefer doing matters at my own reasonable pace. I don’t particularly like changes in my routine, but I can adapt quite easily. I’m a very practical person as well. I enjoy the beautiful things in life, but that doesn’t make me shun ugliness at all. Besides, it all depends on how one perceives beauty. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder!

Still am, but I’m slowly learning to accept imperfection into my life. Also, I’m doing my best to erase the many expectations I have so I could one day master the art of letting go and freeing myself to simple happiness and joy.

Compared to before, I’m less dramatic nowadays. Language-wise, I attempt to blog flawlessly in English and speak proper English online with my peers. Call me a Grammar Nazi all you want, but that’s how I roll. I only converse in perfect English in formal situations and during my dramatic outbursts. Otherwise, I’m absolutely capable of communicating like the average Malaysian!

It’s a different issue altogether when you’re forced to learn for the sake of getting good grades, though. Other than that, I’m open to new information and knowledge anytime! I especially would like to learn more languages and pick up new musical instruments.

…are just some of the things I would love to do in the near future, hopefully!

the basic rules apply. If you respect me, I’ll respect you. If you happen to be someone who has low EQ skills, I’ll try to be tolerant but my patience is definitely limited. I’m observant when it comes to human behaviour. I’m a person of many opinions, but I don’t voice them out unless I trust you enough; I’m very honest and candid when it comes to the people I can trust. Even though I trust very easily, not everybody can prove that they’re all that nice. Hurt me, and I’ll only defend myself if necessary. Hurt my family or my friends – you won’t find me holding back.

Is there anything else you would like to know about me?
Throw me your questions and/or doubts here! I honestly have nothing to hide, so you’ll expect the truth and nothing but the truth.

It’s only how I phrase my answers that you’ll have to be aware of.
Or…you can click hereto go back to reading!

Reactions more like it.

My heart skipped a beat when I read Hazel's latest entry.

Yes, I really didn't expect my name to pop up in her blog, as I don't think I'm that a major topic to blog about.

But it did happen.

And now my response.

Hazel.

I seriously did not ever expect an apology from you. For some reason.

But let me tell you this if you ever come here.

Yes, I admit, I had always thought you were the one spreading rumours about me. I really want to doubt it as it's really plain downright lowly, but too many people had mentioned that it's you who did it, and I think it's better off if I clear off my doubts first.

Even though if it's ever true, it's not about me that I'm quite mad about. From many different sources, it was said that you mentioned stuff about other people too, like Najwa. I really don't mind nor care what people crap about me, but about others, that's pretty bad. Especially when it seems so two-faced of you guys. Pardon me, but this is just from the what-I'd-heard point of view so if you feel offended, don't blame me. It's because we, which is Najwa and me, had been receiving the cold treatment from almost everybody in class and it's been really disturbing to know that people are against us just because of debate. Which is really dumb as we're joining just to represent the school, definitely not for abusing our power.

And about the popularity factor. I had never said it was you. Or anybody. I was just pointing this to someone who had changed a lot since I thought I knew her. And that's sincerely for me to know. And for anybody to find out. Especially HER. But yeah, it's not you and I had never meant for it to imply that it was you or anybody.

I rather forgive and forget actually. But I'd never had a grudge against you guys. Serious. What for?

And blame the sensitivity or whatever, I still feel the sarcasm coming.

So if I sound sarcastic and it offends you in any way, understand that it's my nature to turn on the sarcasm in me to defend myself from the sarcasm of others.

The sincerity's really cool. That's real.

Anyway, whatever it was that happened in Form 1, I can't remember at all.

So this blog entry of mine shall decide whether we'll stay friends or go our separate ways.

This will be the deciding factor.

I'm praying for a blood free war.

*****
Third round against Perling tomorrow.

Bless us, Convent's next if we win.

*****
Najwa, it wasn't funny when I said the doa after getting my Science marks. I was really DAMN relieved okay XD

*****
To the tagger with the name of 'spareme'. You're such a noble, courageous, and popular optimist. Please revert all the words I had mentioned to their respective antonyms.

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My best of the best piano teachers, Miss Ng Xu Ann. =) She's the one on the left by the way.

Why do I ah-dore her so?

1. Cos she's the most sporting piano teach I had ever have so far.
2. Cos she lets me have the freedom of choosing my songs for my exams, not like the majority of piano teachers that are so paranoid over their students and choose their songs for them. There are it's advantages, but I prefer to do the choosing. I AM a Taurus-ean ;)
3. She understands my constantly increasing workload and never-ending CCAs in school is causing my piano practice to go down, but she never scolds or nags me =D Though I'm gonna change this soon. No more getting weird grades for my practical. I'm gonna get at least a pass to redeem myself V(^.^)V And make her proud of course!
   
4. She's like my best friend. I can tell her everything. And we really can talk about anything under the sky! =)
5. We always share our problems. Whether it's about her work or my school affairs we never fail to whip up solutions for the other :)
6. She's always supports me in whatever I do. She is also another that doesn't judge me by my cover.
   
7. And most importantly, she taught me how to play the piano with 'feeling' and expression. She had taught me the true art of piano playing. And that's with talking in class for 50 minutes and banging scales and songs for a mere ten minutes! XD

And which one of you have a piano teacher that is photogenic and even has a Friendster profile?

Never challenge me in this aspect XD

She's one cool teach! =D

*****
Had another debate meeting today.

You should be well informed that Asrama 1 is mosquito-infested.

And it HAD to be a day when all the hostel girls are NOT IN.

So the mozzies took the opportunity to taste our sweet blood more than ten times.

Not like I counted but yeah, it's a lot.

This is the first time I went without tying my hair and looking all selekeh with aunty-like slippers.

And I did my Math exam in a time span of 1 and a half hours XD

Which I'm so sure I was gonna fail at cos Miss Nav happily counted in the time when we started digging through the hostel girls' bags for a compass and protractor. That alone took 15 minutes.

And the freaking compass BROKE.

It was already broken it seems. But we managed to make it worse..?

Heheh. Our apologies to the girl who owns the pink pencil case with stripes.

And please pray for my success in Maths to gain the 85 passing mark which only our class have and I don't know why the heck she has to do that and I'll pray for yours too ;)

Ah yes, my thanks to Irwin for keeping me on the right track.

To think I was on the verge of QUITTING debate.

*****This is a message to a person that could be a dear friend but is now not really so.

To Sue-Ann. I know you don't read my blog but I hope you do so you can wake up from La-La Land, vocab credits to Sherrylee.

Do you actually know we, your so-called friends are still on not so bad terms with you only to avoid you from freaggin' cutting yourself again? It's not worth throwing away your life like this for stupid, naive and childish teenage love which you have to exaggerate too much on it.

Why am I saying this? Even though you only attempted suicide twice?

Cos all of us know how unstable you can get emotionally. You make the biggest fuss over the smallest matters. You think only you're right. You expect the world to be at your service 24/7. You criticize people, but people can't even comment about you. You can talk about your own self for hours, but you won't even give a minute to the ones you're ranting at.

Your weaknesses? You get influenced by people too easily. You are so naive to believe everything people say. You can't stand up at your own two feet. You depend on people like they're your oxygen and you need them to practically breathe. You can't even face the simplest of matters in life. If that's the case, how are you ever gonna face the real world?

Welcome to reality.

You know what? I'm really sorry to be so harsh to you in school, but that's because we want you to realize what's going on without us painfully saying it in your face. But seriously, if there's still no freaking reaction from you, we are going to tell you straight in your face, and drill it in your head, on the last day of school before term break. So you can think and ponder about it.

And you know, you can stop copying my style and attitude, and the way I speak as well. To me, copying me is no form of flattery, I'll just think you are an empty-headed human who doesn't have their own stand nor imagination and creativity. And I seriously don't respect people like that.

In fact, I look down on them. I feel sorry for them.

For living such a boring and aimless life.

You can also stop ragging on about your crushes which change every week. I was never interested. In fact, it's so boring I hardly listen to what you're saying. Love never really was an applicable feeling to me. I had never felt love for the past 9 years.

And you also claim to have family problems? Please. Listen to the people around you and you'll know why we don't care what heck about you.

What are your problems?

Your father's busy. Your mum nags. Your brother can't stop bullying you and making fun of you.

THAT'S NOTHING compared to the people surrounding you.

You have friends whose parents are divorced. They don't have a complete family like you.

You have friends who have parents that are in major financial difficulties. You have a dad who's a doctor and you're reasonably much more able than the most of us in the $ aspect.

You have friends who have their loved ones that had passed on. Your family members are alive and healthy as well. Appreciate your family for God's sake! And to think you said her late father was CRAZY. You never considered how hurt she felt when she heard that.

You are a selfish, childish and idiotic bitch.

Yes, you are not even a biatch. You are a bitch.

Pardon the vulgarity dear readers.

And would you like to know what she does to gain attention everyone?

She throws a tantrum and bangs the table,
just to get the peers to see her.

She makes a fuss from a small matter,
so that we're care and not ignore her. (even if we wanted to.)

She wails and screams when she gets frustrated,
the whole class looks, she smirks, then dozes.

When she emos, nobody bothers,
when she's gone, all of us ponder.

What we think was this simple sentence,
"Thank god she's gone, it's all for the better."

I'm just representing everyone, and yes I'm not exaggerating, EVERYONE who just can't stand your attitude.

If you want real friends my dear, you should try and change your attitude man. Seriously.

If you really end up reading this, I rather if you feel offended, cos that way you'll get all huffed up over my meanness and you can ignore me AT LAST.

To everybody who's reading, I'm never this mean, but I really have to get this out and wake this girl from her own imaginary land.

And as somebody who's pretty neutral with the friends factor, I do hope she can change for the better.

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Why do I say it's amazing?

Because seriously, I don't remember myself updating that often in a month. Lol.

But yeah, we managed to kick some Universiti 1 butts.

What is it with all the fuss saying that they're sons and daughters of university lecturers (hence the name of their school), thus making them out to be the best debaters of all the non-premier schools?

"WELL WELL WELL", as I quote and unquote from the second and third speaker of their team, that is merely an assumption.

A misconception by all of us.

And we were actually fooled for a moment there! Shame on me.

It's just a strong front to mislead us. Just like the first team we battled against recently.

From this debate, we can conclude the following:

• Private schools are dominating the world. Wakakakakakakaka.
• The second speaker is a liar.
• The third speaker beats around the bush, and thank goodness the mike hated him and moved downwards non-stop xD
• The first speaker and the reserve in that yellow shirt was nice, especially the reserve, he gave us some advice for the next round. And it was something about chocolate and vanilla ice-cream. My thanks to him.
• Raudzah is Nuramalina, the first speaker's cousin! I see the resemblance. Hehe.
• We're getting pizza for the semi-finals xD Me and my craving for FOOD.
• And we got exempted from tomorrow's exam! Hurrah! Like duh, I didn't study one crap shit about a thing and I'm glad for this miracle. (My terrible sorries to Naomi and especially Manmit, I really have no confidence to take the freak test tomorrow because I am totally unprepared! So lucks to you guys first!)
• My heartiest of all heartiest congrats to Sherrylee for attaining the position of best speaker. I'm so freaking proud of you even though you're sick and actually look half-dead on stage, till the time came for you to perform. Way to go! =D
• I bet the Universiti speakers didn't think much about us when we insisted on meeting them as we were being nice and all while they tried to pry into our strategies. Naughty naughty, look what you got as your pressie XDD
• Nadhirah's a very nice and patient Maths teacher! As you all should know by now, I'm a freaking dunce in Math. Manmit and I had a great time ranting at her about Pn Norma's crap teaching for Sejarah.
• There's more once I get the real update from Michelle xD

*****
I now seriously know what a boring person I am.

My thanks to Irwin for letting me find out by myself through your indirect speech? Lol.

Any of you are highly welcomed to train me to upgrade my speaking skills.

"Stay for the change in Manmit's blog. Soon." XD

PS: You guys are such two-faced idiots. And you claim to hate them but guess what, you were always one yourself.

PPS: As of today, Najwa and I are officially husband and wife XD Speak about destressing! We even made this totally ah-dorable Siamese-like kitten our child! OhMiGosh we are so ideal for each other XDD

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And yes.

My school is the only dumbass one to have it's annual Sports Day on a freaking SUNDAY.

To get my attendence, I was forced to skip FOUR hours of tuition in OMEGA.

But it was okay as well, as the following events did/did not occur:

• No sunburn! Though yes, I did get darker and my scalp could fry eggs. Ask Jasmine.
• No spending of money, as I'm running out of duckets.
• More words exchanged between all of us.
• Sneaked into another house's waiting area (namely Red House) in my black prefect Tee.
• Shared KFC with Jas, Gurpreet and Nadwa. Thanks to Fairuz's Mum =D
• Blew wonderfully delicious looking bubbles that were popping around everywhere ;)

And how can I forget the camwhoring sessions XD

Us being avid Green House supporters? Shreks of the Day XD

I couldn't stay for the results as I had relatives coming over, but apparently Red House grabbed everything this year. Congrats anyway? Hehe.

More pics will be uploaded here when Gurpreet does the uploading.

*****

I missed Sherry's b'day party in CS. Obviously I can't go, and my sincerest apologies to her.

And I really liked this picture among the rest during their outing.

Gorgeously amazing. They looked like happy people in this =)

And I did convey my birthday greetings to the birthday girl, but just to make it official:

Many happy returns! =D

*****I found the real friend in you.

The reason why in the seven wonders of the world would I put this hideous picture of me is because I can hardly find any different pictures of me together with Naomi here. (we need to take more pictures. Like ay-sap.) Anyway it's because I look horrendous you'll definitely pay all your teeny weeny bit of attention to the wonderfully prettey Naomi xD

I thank you for being there for me to rant ALOT.

I thank you for crapping with me during any minute that we meet up.

I thank you for updating me with stuff cos I am so outdated. (and not laughing at me for that as well, not like some people. *hint hint*)

I thank you for allowing me to handle your blogskins as I need the practise, and it reminds me I wanna have a change as well.

I thank you for trusting and not judging me by my looks.

No amount of thanks can express my gratitude.

And I am really grateful for your entry. Please, you flatter me too much XD And that entry is more than enough. And yes, I'll buy the Spectrum, that's a definite yes =D

Oh yeah, I won't cekik you la. Take your own sweet time. I'll collect your IOU when you're done XD

And yes, those UNWORTHY asses, quote from Naomi, can just vanish from my sight for all I care. If you ever read this, well, try to be meaner and pass more rumours alright? Cos it will give an up to my 'popularity'. Erhem erhem ;D

Credos to Naomi too, I grabbed loads of her pics for this entry.

*****

Amazingly, I survived conducting the assembly today.

Only mistake, I messed up by saying the prayers should go first before the ikrar.

Thank god the teachers only laughed amuzingly at my mistake and didn't thought of the voice raising?

And that's only because Amnah wasn't here.

Apparently she skipped school today cos she was EXHAUSTED.

If she's exhausted, what are we?

We had dropped dead already.

She just sits there in the shade, and what are we doing?

Getting our skin barbecued freshly under the Sun.

The Sun was mocking at our stupidity.

*****
I got my stuff today. AT LONG LAST.

Everything's great. I love every single itty bit of everything xD

I feel like buying more XD

And I shall make a masterpiece from all of them. During term break. Man, that's a long time away. xDD

PS: Anybody knows where I can get colourful and good quality extensions from at a cheap price? I can only see those boring brown ones in JB.

Peace out.

"And the change had been made."

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Yes I Am.

GRRRRRRRRRRRRRR.

RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAR.

MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH.

I'MMA SICK BURDEN TO MOI BRAIN XD

The Artistic Crapper's Quickies, or rather, Long Fasties? XD

1. Changing both Naomi's and my blogskin. Soon.
2. Sport's Day is tomorrow. Gonna be lazing running around under the freaking hot burning evil Sun while I could actually skip all of this and go for freak freezing tuition in Omega. And to those who think I betrayed the marchers for debate, hello, down to earth *insert name/names here*, Miss Nav was the one who asked me to quit. She even told the commander that I'm so out and can't be dedicated into marching and she requested for my exemption. Anyway I really can't go for both at once as marching kills me physically and debate kills me physically AND mentally. Not like I wanna be so freaking sure of myself, aka PERASANTED, but loads of people get jealous of me real quick almost every freak crappy time which leads to messing up my life socially and ripping my heart into a million pieces to disturb the inner me, knowing I can get real fragile at times. I know myself the best, and like it's SO damnation obvious of your new attitude towards me. Fruff off. You guys need a life.
3. Regarding point number 2, I'm glad I'm not pathetically lame like you guys. Attracting attention by beings fakers are not in my list of people that can give me a decent impression. I'm being fairly nice to you all as it's way better than being mean to me and think that's cool..? HAHAH.
4. And about YOU, my 'dear'. You were close to me to share the so-called popularity I had. Please, my only intention was just to be friends with people sharing the same interests. And you faked your way in. Now you're besties with her for the same reason when I lost the plot. And you'd got it. And you know what? I'm so fruff relieved I'm not a biatchy loser like you. Popularity doesn't matter. New but sincere friends do to me. I feel sorry for you, man.
5. Though I didn't really knew you that well, you sort of took the iniatiative to talk to me. And I found out you're pretty decent, despite the slight yellow-sity XD Thanks for being a great friend that I know for only about 50%? ROFLMAO. PS: She really LOVES you! Believe it or not XD
6. Your secrets are safe with me =) To her with the name of a flower and to another whom shares the name of a supermodel.
7. To you, she's using you. Sorry about that, you're still being so nice to her. And guess what, people do hate you! Amazing news? Definitely ;D
8. Stop copying me, to you who assume that I'm your bestie. POI, I don't believe in bffs nor cliques. And I doubt you'll ever know everyone that knows you are just being nice to you to avoid you commiting suicide again. If you want real friends, IMHO, please be yourself and don't depend on others so much. You'll also need to buy yourself some self-respect, dignity and a less naive brain. Money ain't everything. And please get the thought of everything you wish, you'll definitely and must get theory out of your head. . Ain't working I can tell you.
9. I respect these two individuals and I'll be a somebody one day. My career has now been decided.
10. Debate round 2 is coming. Please let us win. We can't lose to Universiti 1. Like duh.
11. Scrabble is around the corner as well. Time for some memorizing.
12. More activities due for me:

• Public Speaking workshop in Muar.
• KWN(Kids Witness News) competition.
• This science ecology whatnot, with me who have no other choice to go with narrator again.
• Drama Competition, District Level.
• Whip up something else or stick to the old plan for FOA. Of course, it's plain logic sense we need to defend our title?
• UIAM. Not even sure whether I'm eligible for this.
• Bound to be more. We're talking about SIGS here. Please.

She will be back. With a new look.

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Ahaks XD Me looking too innocent to be true?! ROFLMAO.

In a very much summarized version of moi, since I'm an obnoxiously lazy piggie.

We practised the whole day.

Went through scripts and possible POIs.

And then while waiting for our opponents, and yes they were late as expected, we were camwhoring our ss' out XDD


From left, like doh, Gurpreet, Naomi, JasmiNE/NO/NI/NU/NA-chan, and Farra!

This picture was retaken after Michelle commented on dear Naomi's hands posing funneh..

..though seriously this pic is the 'cream of the crop', quote from Nicole's speech. Love ya guys =D

And we danced the aforementioned 'Lucky Dance'. There have to be around 20 of us I think. The more the merrier =))

The opposing team from SMK Tmn Tun Aminah arrived. Which consists of 3 girls and 1 guy. I was almost intimidated as they looked really confident, dress real neat, and they looked like they were so sure they can beat us.

With that I decided to give them my infamous stare. I was responded with a stern face from the 1st speaker. Aha, I thought then. Better not mess around too much.

When Miss Nav asked the 1st speaker what form they were from, we were greeted with a very calm and steady voice saying "Form 5."

Okay, my voice in my head said. I think they're much more experienced then the newly elected team we have. But we have a strong team, and we'll get by.

So we got quarantined at 1.15 instead of 1 due to the *ehemehem* opposing team's lateness.

I don't really know what we did in there but yeah, got the motion in the debaters' heads and lucky for us, we got government. Najwa and I were plain bengang-ed when we saw our lot said 'Affirmative', but after having a short glance at the other team's paper, they obviously got opposition. Yay us! *claps hands like London from Suite Life* XD

And so, I took my position to yawn like hell to signal Najwa to go slow XDD

And to show the team my fingers are crossed for them =D

Well, as Michelle said, we definitely didn't win with glory. In fact, I guess we could have also won if we got oppo.

Lesson learned : Looks can be deceiving.

But anyway I'm freak proud of you guys =)

Though they don't read my blog, but this is what I wanna say anyway again and again.

To Najwa : You were GREAT. Nothing else can signify how shit proud I was and still am for ya XD

To Nicole: Congrats for getting best speaker. You deserve it and thank god you didn't do the momentary *insert Nicole's-suddenly-stop-halfway-in-her-speech talk* during the debate. Though that was one thing that got us undepressed from the depression. Heh.

To Sherrylee : You were made for third speaker. Whoosh. Hehe. And don't blame yourself for that freak moment, you really did a splendid job rebutting, and it's just them giving crackpot points that aren't even solid with no freaking statistics.

To Mangalam : The POI suggester and reminder of previous stuff Miss Nav said. (She's also my Maths teacher in the library along with Najwa XD I'm a dunce in Maths, so don't blame me alrighty XDD)

Round 2's coming up next, so stay tuned to the next entry, hopefully on our victory once more =D

The Artistic Crapper's quickies:

1. With Xin Yun we're gonna join forces to find Cik Chee and get her to inform US FIRST when class gets cancelled. We, of course, hate late last minute information.
2. I'm a goner in debate. So to a certain you/you's' who are jealous, I'm sorry this had to happen. Your real colours are shining so brightly I can hardly miss it. And no, I did not bribe my way in or secretly reaudition again. Get over it. I'm not gonna fall in your traps ever.
3. Miss Low actually let me off for being late to her class! Miraculous enough, haha.
4. I know who my real friends are now. School or outta school, at least they don't judge me by looks alone. Thank you for taking time to know the inner me. For those that just know me but still don't read my personality through my looks, your understanding's really greatly appreciated.

I'm getting the hang of the 'new year'.

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Yep, you guessed it.

It's the occasion when we get those lovely $$$-filled red packets or more commonly known as angpaus to us all.

It's also when families reunite to celebrate this festival in harmony =)

The Artistic Crapper's Quickies:

1. We won the first round of debate! Hoo-Hah! Maybe I'll blog about this but if you want the summarized yet just enough to know edition, do refer to Michelle's blog =) And I'd just decided I'll learn to smile more. Credos to Michelle =D
2. I'm actually down with the Flooding Shit Catastrophe aka Flu, Sore throat and Cough at this time of the year. No spicy and oily food for me. No mandarin oranges either =(
3. Been skipping marching ALOT. I might as well quit and concentrate on debate instead XD I'll ask Najwa on this.
4. Sent my essay for the Common-Wealth thingy. Hope they'll at least lemme know what they think about the standard of my essay. Which reminds me I have around 3 more random stories to complete. Oh dear.
5. Gonna miss Autopsy when she leaves for Aussie. Her together with the Overdresser had made me realize many things that will definitely affect what I'll be doing in the future. And I'd learnt to stand up for the interests I'm really dedicated to. Take care there, mate! xDDD And I shall and will take good care of the leg warmers ;)
6. The Lucky Dance©2008 of Najwa Hunny is gonna be a must before every debate and the lot drawing =DDD

HAPPY CHAI-YUH-NISE NEW YEAR XDDD

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I'm not exactly looking forward to CNY, despite the fact I always go all excited over it in school. Farha and Najwa will make very good witnesses.

I'm only doing all of that cos the hols are coming. No school and homework.

No waking up at 5 in the morning.

No need to endure the school stress people give to me.

No need to act so much more differently than the real me.

Why do I need to do that anyway? Why did I put myself upon this unnecessary torture?

And you know what.

I DON'T KNOW EITHER.

I think I AM suffering from schizophrenia.

Or split personality disorder of any kind.

I hate myself for acting like crapshit in school. In front of the peers I mean.

I need to put myself in isolation.

Quarantine me in a small empty room.

Let me ponder what's going on with me.

Let me think what I really want from this life.

And let me scream till my ears bleed.

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