17:41
Friday 11 November 2011
Is It That Hard to Admit That You're Wrong?

Other than the fact that I'm feeling super frustrated and annoyed at the moment, I'm perfectly fine.

Who am I trying to kid. I'm obviously far from okay.

I'm really pissed at a few individuals. Despite the novelty of today being 11/11/11 and me expecting it to be a great day, it's not. I even made a wish at 11:11, and apparently it's far from becoming a reality.

Expectations suck. No wonder Kelly made it a crucial point during our talks and said that I have to rid my life of all these expectations. I'll be a much happier person then.

I'm upset, and there's nobody to talk to.

Oh fuck.

I won't be blogging here till I get some matters resolved and things sorted out.

Till then, I hope everyone reading this is having a better day than me.

Cheers.


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15:42
Thursday 10 November 2011
Summing Up!

Day 30: A photograph of yourself today + Three good things that have happened in the past 30 days.

No photograph! Sorry about that, but like I'd mentioned earlier - I look darn unpresentable.

Three good things, huh.
  1. I started to go online more often again and I managed to do some catching up with my friends. (Damn, I missed them so much. Still do!)
  2. I sent a letter to my Twinnie in KL. (I intend to write more letters to a few more friends.)
  3. Finishing two parts of my craft project. (Six more parts to go! Then I will expose what this project really is on my blog.)
So...What's next?


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14:51
Wednesday 9 November 2011
Savour The Written Word.

Day 29: Something you could never get tired of doing.

I won't get tired of doing something easily, but having a short attention span and being such an impatient brat really doesn't help me much. I tend to find it hard to focus on one task only. So, I'll keep switching tasks till I eventually get something done.

That used to be me before cancer. Now, I have too much freedom and too much idle time. Recuperating from my stem cell transplant doesn't count - my body felt like absolute crap and I was pretty much a lifeless zombie.

Anyway, out of so many things that I enjoy doing - doodling, blogging, gaming, etc.; I don't think I will ever get tired of reading.

Reading is such a joy. Books don't judge you, even if some of us do by its cover. To devour every word, stepping into the shoes of the characters, pondering about what message(s) the authour is trying to convey and the satisfaction of finishing a book - delightful, amazing, satisfying.

Suddenly, a few more things come into mind - photography, writing, fashion and the arts.


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22:18
Tuesday 8 November 2011
Leave Me Wondering.

Day 28: Your favorite movie.

Another topic asking me for just one favourite. Seriously, this meme needs to understand that I have favourites. Not just one favourite. I'm not that inflexible!

Anyway, I'm just going to list a few of my all-time favourites that I could think of at the top of my head right now.

In no particular order:

'The Way Home'

'Swing Girls'

'The Leap Years'

'Sepet'

'Hook'

'Nana'

All images are sourced from their respective Wikipedia pages except for the poster for The Leap Years, which I got from this link.


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12:46
Monday 7 November 2011
Open My Eyes.

Day 27: A picture of you last year and a picture of you now. How have you changed since then?

2010.

2011.

Okay, so I cheated a little here. The photo I chose for 'now' was actually taken earlier this year, before I found out that my cancer came back. There aren't many changes physically, to be honest. The only things that differ from how I currently look like and me in the picture are the length of my hair and the shape of my face. My hair is starting to grow back, but it's still super short. My face also looks much rounder due to the steroids I have been consuming. It looks all bloated and puffed out.

There, I said it! The main reason why I didn't want to take a new photo of myself and upload it on my blog for this entry. All because...

I look darn unpresentable.

I digress.

How have I changed since knowing that I got cancer at the age of seventeen?
  1. I was forced to grow up even more quickly than before.

  2. I have learnt a whole damn lot about life being a cancer patient than being a normal rebellious teenager.

  3. I am now aware that happiness and good health are my priorities; not perfection, success, fame and expectations.

  4. I have discovered the art of letting go. Discovered, mind you, not mastering.

  5. I have been taught the valuable lesson of not taking things for granted and appreciating what I already have.

  6. I have made the phrase 'stop and smell the roses' one of my personal mottos to live by.

  7. I'm still too selfless to be true and a drastic people-pleaser, but I have learnt how to love myself a little more and start being selfish once in a blue moon.

  8. I have been made conscious of how unpredictable life is and can be; how short life is, how I only get to live once as my current identity with my current level of understanding and my current family members and friends.

  9. I have found out who are my true friends, and who aren't.

  10. Knowing that time isn't really on my side, nor anyone else's.


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13:28
Sunday 6 November 2011
Their National Anthem, Memorised!

Day 26: A photo of somewhere you’ve been to.

Merlion Park, Singapore.
16th January 2010.

I can easily count the number of times I've been to Singapore using just one hand. Some of my friends who are reading this might find this statement of mine absolutely pathetic; I know friends who frequent Singapore very often for shopping trips and/or hanging out with their friends instead of choosing to meet up in the same old places here. So, don't laugh at the fact that I hardly know how to get across the boarder to Singapore. I don't find it particularly funny nor amusing.

I will master the art of getting into Singapore and back into Malaysia eventually, okay! This has nothing to do with airports either. I'm thinking public transport.

I do look forward to going there for extreme window shopping, filling my stomach with good food, and immersing myself in the arts there one day when I've recovered from cancer. Also, I would like to visit a few friends there - one of them being my previous piano teacher, Miss Ng who has settled down there with her husband, and quite a number of friends from RYLA 2008.

To Anna, Azri, and Salmi,
do you still remember the times we used to sing 'Majulah Singapura' in class to destress?


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12:16
Saturday 5 November 2011
Dig Deep Within.

Day 25: What’s in your handbag?

I have lots of random bits and pieces in my handbag, or rather, knapsack. I'm more of a knapsack kind of girl, really. I find it more practical. If I really have to use a handbag, it's normally huge so that I can fit in more trash stuff inside.

Generally, the must bring items are:
  1. My wallet.
  2. Reading material of any kind - magazines, comics, the like.
  3. At least one book.
  4. A bottle of water.
  5. My cell phone.
  6. A few packets of tissue paper.
  7. A notepad.
  8. A pen.
Surprisingly, you won't find make-up in my bag - unlike most girls.


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11:36
Friday 4 November 2011
Unbroken, Like Water.

Day 24: A photo of something that means a lot to you.

I promised a great friend, Anna to upload my photos of the sunflower she and another great friend, Azri got for me onto Facebook when I could. But the project seems unfinished, so I think I'm just going to post one of the photos here for now.

Both the sunflower and the quote "The Flowers Won't Mind" mean a lot to me. All because of the girl named Anna Sabrina who came up with the quote and the flower-giving culture in school.

Ah, this girl. She brought so much cheer into my life, it's crazy, I tell you. Never have I met someone who is so brilliantly optimistic about life and its everything.I have learnt so much from her - how to let go, how to be more happy, how to just live life to the fullest through good cheer and smiles.

I will never ever forget the most touching thing she did for me - I helplessly broke down in school after succumbing to major stress and the event of losing a close friend. Class was in session then, but we were asked to do the work given as the teacher had already completed the lesson. Suddenly, I felt like crying really badly. I got up from my seat, walked to the back of the class to where my two other great friends - Gurpreet and Jia Ying were seated, hid behind their chairs, and burst into tears immediately.

Anna and Azri were there as well, and they did something that a goody two-shoes like me would never ever do, unless it's certified safe and punishment-free.

They snuck out the back door of the classroom, went all the way downstairs, and came back upstairs with the risk of getting caught anytime by any teacher; to give me flowers picked up from the side of the field.

With their good intentions of wanting me to stop crying, I think I failed them when I started to produce more buckets of tears. I was too touched, really.

The gesture was sweet and simple. I couldn't ask for better friends like her, them and a lot of other people in my life.

I miss my friends oh so terribly as well. Sigh.

Anyway, till the next entry - cheers!


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13:21
Thursday 3 November 2011
Baring It All.

Day 23: 15 facts about you.
  1. I have a mole near my lip. It only surfaced when I was in Form 3, I think. (Forever twins, Sham Sham!)

  2. I have a very short attention span.

  3. As contradictory as this statement is to the previous one, I’m a very good listener.

  4. I’m too selfless. It’s both a good thing and bad.

  5. I care about what people think of me a lot.

  6. I’m quite capable of putting myself in another’s shoes.

  7. I’m also quite capable of thinking out the possible scenarios to a certain situation.

  8. I think I give out fairly good advice to my friends, even if it’s regarding something I have never experienced personally before.

  9. I like to think of myself as more mature compared to a lot of peers I know.

  10. I love languages, and kind of have a knack for learning them.

  11. I like to think that my talent comes in the form of writing. My English teacher when I was in Form 5 - En. Ismail, told me so, encouraged me a lot when it comes to my writing, and never failed to give me positive feedback. I was really touched. After all these years of thinking I had no talent, he was the one who inspired me to write more often. Thank you, sir!

  12. I had my first alcoholic drink before I turned 18. It was only one sip, and I was thankful it tasted fairly alright, considering it was my first time. And no, it wasn’t beer. I happen to dislike beer, even though I have not drank beer before. I find the smell of beer uncomfortable, somehow.

  13. I am easily seduced by nice scents. Nice scents that are too strong or overwhelming? No thanks.

  14. I prefer shopping for stationery such as pens and notebooks compared to shopping for clothes.

  15. I am starting to let myself be more vulnerable.


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12:15
Wednesday 2 November 2011
I'm Going To Have To Apologise Twice, No Thanks To You.

Day 22: A letter to someone who has hurt you recently.

Dear I,

Here I am, writing to you again. By again, I wrote to you not too long ago here. You used to visit my blog once in awhile, but I know you're too caught up in your own life to read some self-centered pieces of mine. Or rather, you're too immersed in your own 'tragic' problems to remember this friend of yours.

I hate how you are such a pessimist. I hate how I treated you as a great friend for all these years, and I had your back when my other friends thought badly of you. I hate how you claim that you are such a wronged person, but actually you just don't seem to want to admit that you are in the wrong. You push the blame to others, and you just refuse to grow up and admit that you can't be right all the time.

You'll never know how your message made me cry. You'll never understand how disappointed I am in you.

You're mocking me. You're insulting me, despite how serious I am about everything that had happened.

Hate is such a strong word.

But because of all that you'd done, I really do believe I hate you. I don't just dislike you, I really, sincerely, hate you.

Go and continue being a negative loser. I'll just have to pretend that I never had a friend like you, or known you. I give up trying to help you, since you refused to be helped.

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P.S. You don't even know what P.S. stands for, when you'd always bragged about how great your English is and always criticising others for their English skills. It stands for postscript, idiot. And yes, I'm still going to sign off with my name at the end. I don't find it funny, unfortunately. To think I thought that I knew you well. I guess not, since I obviously don't get your sense of humour.


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11:58
Tuesday 1 November 2011
"It's To Eat and Not Get Fat." - Chloe Yap.

Day 21: A photo of something that makes you happy.

This photo was taken last year in the school's Japanese Culture Room. My classmates and I who studied Japanese plus our one and only Chee-sensei were celebrating the success of our school's first Japanese Cultural Festival with a sushi treat. My food photography skills are super lousy, but please pardon me for that. I was too busy drooling over the sushi we got, and I was already selecting the ones I was aiming for in my head.

Still, I wanted photos. Hence, the inferior quality and the lack of patience in taking a great shot.

Magnificent photos of food make me happy quite easily.

Photos of cute cats and animals too, actually.

But if I were to be really to be honest, photos of my friends make me the happiest. I couldn't choose just one, so I decided to go another way with this entry.

My awesome green camera is unfortunately very much unused since cancer got to me.

I badly need to free myself from the clutches of cancer and create more memories with my friends.

Cheers!


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Hello there! You must have guessed by now – this is Leonie here, and I have no intention of boring you out with a long introduction of yours truly.

I have to admit though – I’m quite an interesting individual; those who know me can confirm that, and those who don’t…I don’t mean to brag, but you’re definitely missing out!

Feel free to click here to get to know me a little bit better! No worries, I’m very friendly and I won’t bite!

Meanwhile,
enjoy reading the Fool in Frames!