Tearing up,
but she can't speak.
One word from her,
no one tried to believe.
Those who did,
but they're not she.
Beneath those eyes the hurt is immense,
but she forced a smile.
Behind that mask is a dying soul.
Whoever would know?
asks herself to the inner she,
Who would remove that mask of mine to see
the unhappiness and doubts;
the fears and scars
all locked up in me?
Behind this facade,
I'll just have to live
an actor's life,
another question left unanswered -
where's my Oscar and Grammy?

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"I know I did my part in saving Gaia."

Question is..

















..did you?
Note to Naomi : You're the most passionate human I know in promoting campaigns like Earth Hour and especially about PETA. And you very well did your part in letting more people know about Earth Hour. So yeah, I totally understand you're pissed, but just so you know, you did your part already, alrighty. Do cheer up yeah.

Till the next entry, cheers!

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And that shall be Miss Karyn Ong,
with her six-eared self and bespectacled by five.
She is AWESOMENESS.
Full stop.

There Karyn darling,
I blogged about your AWESOMENESS.
You should be satisfied now.
xD

Still..
I miss you loads supermodel!
Can't wait to see you during Convent's IU!
(:

xoxo,
yours truly.
;)

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An update from me, after being MIA (Missing In Action) for more than a week.

And I apologize about that, really. Especially to Anna-chan and Azri-chan.

Had been really caught up with debate recently, as y'all should know. Been missing heck loads of classes and I am clueless on how to catch up with the lessons and homework for now.

Scared? Afraid? Paranoid?
All three of the above please.

Right after school reopened from the one week hols, Monday and Tuesday had been spent on continuous debate meetings that made both sides of my brain hurt so bad. Tuesday was also the debate itself against SDJ, and I think I slacked big time. As in, my delivery and style sucks lollipops. No doubt about that, since Miss Nav highlighted it to me repeatedly after the results were announced. Thank gawd we won actually, for the consequences would have been far more drastic. She would never let me live it down, that's Miss Nav for you.

Convent is up next. All these years our team would always fall when it's the round against Convent, I think a lot of you are very clear about that. Whatever the reasons are, we'll never know. Still, we're going to the semi-finals now, and whatever happens next, I can only pray that everything would go smoothly for us.

Saw Kamalia on Monday as well. She was with Sarah Faiqah and I missed her so. She managed to drop by our school for awhile before registering at her hostel in the evening. Off she goes to STF. Hope she’ll be well there. When she left, I knew it’ll be the last time she’ll affectionately plant kisses on my cheeks again, especially when she noticed that I looked stressed out in class. 4 Science 1/2009 will always heart you dear.

And I think my classmates would know, I had been absent from school yesterday.

And today as well.

Stupid knee infection.

Thinking everything was better, I went to SSI on Wednesday to watch their round against SMK Dato' (?)Osman / Usman(?) Awang with Fairuz. I refuse to comment any further on that round. But yeah, a certain he and I both agreed it’s best that we stay good friends. No more, no less. All I can say to him is, all the best with her now. I’ll help all I can within my abilities of course.

I didn’t get to answer two fairly important phone calls because of very personal reasons. He knows. And I’m really sorry about it still. Hopefully Sunday works out for us (:

*****Fio’s Blacklight was pretty awesome.

Pictures are up in her Facebook, if you’re curious to see what you’d missed out on.

I might blog about it, I might not.

But it shall be stated here that I heart our so-called rehab gang on Sunday, which consists of Cai Ling the Lesbo Partner, The Chronicles of Farhan and Maurice and of course, the legal girl Miss Fio aka the serial rapist.

Cai Ling and I would do almost anything to turn back time to that particular Sunday again.

For the both of us, it’s having that hint of freedom after being caged in our respective houses for so long.

For me, only you’ll know ;)

*****Coming up, two birthdays!

And after wishing tons of friends “Happy Birthday” throughout these three months, I am very proud to say that..

"Moi is still so YOUNG baybeh!"

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Been working on this new skin for quite some time.

Will blog in detail in a short while.

"I hope."

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" Voilà! In view, a humble vaudevillian veteran, cast vicariously as both victim and villain by the vicissitudes of fate. This visage, no mere veneer of vanity, is a vestige of the vox populi, now vacant, vanished. However, this valorous visitation of a bygone vexation stands vivified, and has vowed to vanquish these venal and virulent vermin vanguarding vice and vouchsafing the violently vicious and voracious violation of volition. The only verdict is vengeance; a vendetta held as a votive, not in vain, for the value and veracity of such shall one day vindicate the vigilant and the virtuous. Verily, this vichyssoise of verbiage veers most verbose, so let me simply add that it's my very good honor to meet you and you may call me.."

"V."

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Awwww..
"CUTENESS REIGNS IN PINK."
Due to bad weather circumstances, and me deciding not to take a single risk of sending the modem to the graveyard under the same bad weather circumstances, I am now blogging using Microsoft Word while waiting for the thunders, lightning, cats and dogs to subside.

How are my holidays so far, you may ask?

Well, Saturday was spent at Omega for Physics tuition, me doodling a lot on my notes to make them look more interesting, considering the fact that I have a bad feeling I’m going to hate this subject, and trying to entertain Khairina and myself at the same time while trying to absorb whatever Physics facts that Mr Cham was saying in front of the class.

Oh yeah, The Slipper Incident! ROFLMAO!

Hung out at Fio’s on Sunday and it was still, raining cats and dogs. Fio, Shu Rong and I spent a good thirty minutes drying the Blacklight Area, as Fio calls it, while Najwa was busy ooh-ing and aah-ing at the computer screen grinning and giggling to herself at a particular someone’s blog. Make that two people’s blogs.

Fio and Shu Rong also had fun with the car apparently. Lol. Heating the towels that way is one of a kind indeed.

And yeah, how can I ever forget the moments when Fio and I were happily tormenting and torturing Najwa at last! Finally that woman has a taste of her own medicine! May, you should thank me, and especially Fio for doing most of the job! XD

Righty, another thing.

PINK VODKA IS VERY CUTE.
Well, only the four of us at Fio’s that time would know what I mean ;)

*****Should get working on that Magazine Workshop blog post once I'm done with some of the homework, just to please mumsie for the time being so I can go online and blog.

Naomi, you should be looking forward to this one I think x]

Till the next post, xoxo from yours truly!

I miss Azri and Anna a whole damn lot DX

I sound very bimbotic in this post somehow. It'll wear off soon, no worries.

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Credits to Tsinelas by Mikashitamo.
There is a very good reason for that picture above.

Concerning that, at approximately 7.45PM earlier, the whole family had dinner together and were TRYING to get back to the car.

Three problems that were faced while TRYING to do so :

1. It was raining cats and dogs.
2. The car was at the other side of the road.
3. Nobody brought the umbrella out.
   

So, we managed to borrow an umbrella (thanks to the owner of that umbrella by the way) and with that one umbrella, 'Daddykins' and kor went to the car first and then the former came back with an extra umbrella from the car for mumsie and to escort moi back.

Before that, while they were busy getting soaked in the rain, mumsie and I saw a mother and a daughter aged six or so if I'm not mistaken with an umbrella, obviously trying to cross the road to get to the other side as well.

The kid was whining 'cos she didn't want to get her pretty polished black Mary Janes wet from the flooding roadsides. So, after much fidgeting and persuasion, her mum finally decided to carry her across the roadside and smiled at mumsie and I while she was at it.

Not too long after that..

Daddykins : Girl, you're wearing slippers right?
Leonie : Yeaaaaaaaaah.
Daddykins : Then 'it' shouldn't be a problem. *stares at the continuously flooding roadside*
Leonie : ..geranimooooooooooo!

The water was freaking cold, I giggled when I first stepped into it, almost fell too. But I managed to regain enough balance to stand up again.

It was then I exclaimed loudly enough for my parents to hear in the pouring rain,

"MY SLIPPER'S FLOATING AWAY!"
Thank gawd it did not go far enough till it ends up in the drain or underneath someone's car, or it's goodbye forever to that pretty slipper I bought in Melaka last year.

Silly me. LOL.

On another random note, I decided to finally add more friends on my brand new Myspace account, and the first among that batch of friends was Karyn Ong.

Check out our statuses XD
*****I actually updated twice in a day!

Azri the nenek would like that :P

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"And you're leaving,
never to come back again.
Your departure will leave an imprint of you in our lives.
But it'll never be the same again."
And to think I thought that after Mella, 4 Science 1/2009 would be staying that way till the year is over and done with.

I was wrong. As usual.

Right after the Interact, Prefect and debate meeting yesterday, Azri came running to me from the other side of the field to me and said while panting,

"Lya is going to STF."
And again, I was just flabbergasted when I pieced her words together.

I know that Kamalia had told me a couple of times previously that her mum would want her to study in STF, as much as she doesn't really want to, well..

..things happen.

Azri then continued by saying that yesterday was the last day for students to register at STF, and..

Sigh.

What can I say now? I have no power to stop her from leaving. As much as we don't want her to go, but who knows? This might be all the better for her.

So Kamalia, I can merely wish you all the best at your new school, if you happen to be accepted that is. I know that your Ninja buddies will miss you the most.

We 4SC1 peeps will miss you too.

As for me?


My last memories of you?

When we did our History presentation together with Alya and Najwa. You talked about Alexander the Great while I crapped about Shih Huang Ti.

When I asked Jia Ying to pass a message to you and Alya while Sarannia was presenting her group presentation for History to know whether you guys have taken your Biology practical books back or not, since I was freaking worried I might had misplaced your books. My table was seriously super messy that day.

When you said you love me, gave me another one of your friendly random sweet kisses and held my hand, just being a friend.

I'm mentally preparing myself for the next thing that could happen, so that the pain wouldn't be such an excruciating one if the time does come.


"Who's next?"

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What seemed to be a usual morning, except for the fact that HER and me aren't on talking terms, turned totally upside down in just a matter of seconds.

During the start of Physics in school..

Monitor : Good morning, Miss Norhafiza.
Class : Good morning, Miss Norhafiza.
Miss Norhafiza : Good morning, class. Let's read the prayer.
*Muslims in class starts reciting the prayer*
Miss Norhafiza : Have a seat please. *pause* Nak belajar ke tak hari ni?
Student A and B : Nak..(in a monotonous tone)
Leonie : Tak nak..(in a JOKING manner)
Miss Norhafiza : Kalau tak nak, keluar dari kelas sekarang.
Leonie : *stares in disbelief*
Miss Norhafiza : I mean it, get out of the class NOW. *points to the door*
Leonie : *thinks twice about stepping out from the lab, but decides not to as the class will be doing an experiment concerning the ticker timer later on* But teacher, I was just.. *wanted to say joking but knowing how much trouble she'll get into it for it*
Miss Norhafiza : Joking? But I'm serious.
Leonie : *tries to think of a witty comeback but was too shocked by the sudden change in mood of the teacher, so fails miserably and just decides to say..* I'm sorry, teacher.
Inner Leonie says : Fuck yourself, BITCH. Even if you're having PMS for all I care, you don't have the right to pick on me like that. The whole class knew I was joking, so why couldn't you just let it go and ignore it? Sensitive moody BITCH.
Miss Norhafiza : *starts going ballistic all of a sudden* The non-Muslims in this class, don't you have any respect for us while we're reciting the prayer?! Even if you're not a Muslim, you should be having your own prayer to recite and not talking and playing around while we're reciting the prayer. Don't you have any respect for us?! I really don't want to scold you all and I hate showing you my ugly face, so please, show me some respect!
Inner Leonie : UGH! I wasn't even making the slightest sound while you guys are reciting the prayer! So why does it have to be ME who gets victimized?? Bitch bitch bitch bitch BITCH!!!

(Song playing in Leonie's head throughout the whole Physics lesson - Family Reunion by Blink 182. Note : I don't mean any of the lyrics in the song literally, but just swearing using the words from it. Why can't I post the lyrics here? Well, go Google it up and you'll know the reason why. Eheh.)

I was sarcastic throughout the entire lesson, and I showed my displeasure clearly to the teacher whenever I could. Hence, Leonie sincerely apologizes if any of my 4 Science 1 peeps got offended by Leonie's tone while she's speaking to you. She totally doesn't mean it, only maybe towards that same teacher of course.

I can honestly tell you, my blood was literally BOILING during the whole lesson. I couldn't really concentrate that much, and I did tried to focus on doing the stupid report, but it was then I realized I started getting all teary.

Couldn't wait for the class to be over, and while the class wished her at the end of the lesson, I didn't even bother looking at her nor wished her and stormed out of class right past her. I couldn't care less anymore about getting blacklisted or anything, since I had always been paranoid with the whole demerit system and me being a perfectionist (and a freaking prefect at that), doesn't like being in the bad books of any teacher.

I shall gladly elaborate more about her profound teaching methods later on which made me dislike her in the first place.

All there is to this story after I left the Physics' lab, I fast-walked back to class and was the first to arrive. I sat down at my place alone, and the incident from Physics class earlier left me quite scarred. Normal for a goody-two-shoes like me in school.

Min Wen and Jia Xin came up to class not long after and Min Wen approached me, asking me whether I was alright or not.

It was then I started cursing in Chinese and ranting and raising my voice and dissatisfaction on that teacher. I went on and on and on..

And then, I started crying. In rage.

I was so freaking frustrated with life at that juncture. I just broke down.

Min Wen was super shocked I cried all of a sudden, and tried to calm me down.

I just cried harder.

The rest of my class peeps came up soon, and saw me in that pathetic state, and were persuading me to stop crying and that it wasn't worth crying over the Physics teacher. Evonne was saying that she might had forgotten all about it already and that it was her being moody.

I was kinda ignoring the earlier comments, as I was crying so hard, I couldn't concentrate on what they were saying.

All I could feel was May rubbing my back non-stop, showing that she is there for me.

Then, I felt somebody who hugged me from behind.

"Leonie, don't cry anymore.."
Whoever that voice could belong to if not my darling Anna Sabrina.

There was something about her voice that I could feel that pinch of sincerity, her caring self being there for me, making sure that I'm alright.

I just turned around and hugged her.

I didn't want to let go. There was something about Anna's hug that soothed me, somehow.

"Leonie, don't cry anymore, or I'm gonna cry too.."

"I'm so sorry Anna..Don't cry..I'll try to stop for you.."
I then quickly forced a smile to try and create more happy hormones in my body so that I'll try to stop crying naturally.

It was at that part I heard my friends talking about the weirdness, craziness, madness, etc. of the Physics practical teacher when I got to one part where Tasha or Soske, I can't make out the voice that time, saying that the teacher was having PMS and somebody should hand her a pad.

I then decided to step in at this point and said, "I don't think she's having PMS, guys. Poor thing, she's probably having her menopause too early."

Some laughed, some were shocked at what I said, but in a good way, as they take it as a sign that I'm starting to recover from the whole incident.

Anna then asked me whether I want sweets or not to cheer me up, but even though I said it was okay, she vanished almost in a second and reappeared out of nowhere holding a tin of bubblegum that Veena and May got for her I think. It was supposed to make your tongue turn into outrageous shades of acidic colours, and the small gang that gathered around my table were real excited about it. Everybody wanted a share, but Anna dear wanted to give me the first outta it.

So, Anna and Veena were working hard to try and open the tin, using rulers, zips, anything accesible. When it was finally opened, they were asking me to choose, but though I was so sure I wanted a green tongue so I could let go of my hair, find a long white robe from somewhere and impersonate Sadako to scare the living daylights out of that teacher, I didn't in the end, as I didn't want to give the other teachers in the school a scare with my green tongue. So the alternative that Anna offered me - a Blackcurrant Sugus. And it's ok Anna, I don't mind that it'd melted =)

Actually, the main reason why I cried wasn't fully because of what happened in Physics earlier.

Firstly, I cried 'cos of rage. I couldn't believe a teacher can actually find fault with me in that way.

Second, I was pissed. About everything that's happening between HER and me.

Third, I was depressed. Over family stuff.

Fourth, I was upset. It's stupid and weird that it had to happen at a time like this, when we're both in the same team for debate. You have your pride, but so do I. I won't hail to you like how I usually do the last time. You want war? Bring it on. 'Cos I won't surrender so easily this time round. I feel so weak and pathetic 'cos I realized I'm always shedding my precious tears for YOU. But guess what?

You weren't there when I broke down today.

You didn't approach me for anything at all.

You didn't try to make things right.

I know I said I didn't want to talk to you, not like I wanted to at a time like that, but if I were you, I would had set aside all those differences we had and try and be there for you first.

Since you obviously don't think the same way, I guess this is it then, if this is how you want things to be.

Thinking back about all that, tears started to fall again without me wanting to.

I quickly wiped them off as tried to clean my specs with my blazer, but failed miserably.

Not long after, Anna came running along with the cloth thingy that's specially used to clean the specs' lens. If you have specs, you'll know what I mean. I didn't even ask for it but Anna being the attentive one just came along to give me that for me to use. I was seriously touched, really. Thanks so much Anna. For being such a good friend and scandal partner. Every single thing you did for me today, I really do appreciate so much. I love you darling.

Still, I couldn't hold those tears in.

Then comes my Pikachu aka Ah Yuan. She came and saw me tearing up, and told me not to cry. Unfortunately, I did again but she was there, so I stopped as quickly as I started. I love you too budak.

I love all of you that were there for me even if I looked miserably horribly weak and pathetic then.

To the aforementioned names above, a million thanks.

To Azri, Cassan, Vivian, Fairuz, Sarah, Jia Ying, Raja - to you guys too.

And if there are any names I missed out, I'm grateful to every one of you for being there for me.

The time during Mathematics class, which till now I could still hear the applause from the beloved of 4 Science 1. Thanks guys. That really motivated me a lot, after that incident and me breaking down and all :')

Now, back to the teaching methods.

Let me first mention that Miss Norhafiza here had studied in UK for the past THREE years majoring in Physics.

She has an accent.

But her English is seriously SO THE POWDERFUL man.

Just to list one of the many examples, to her 'situation' is spelt as 'situasion'.

Example two :

This happened yesterday by the way.

Veena : Teacher, how many kilometres is one mile?
Miss Norhafiza : I think it's 100km..no wait, it's 100m..or was it 1000m? *starting drawing imaginary figures in the air and counting with her fingers* *long pause* I don't know.
Leonie : Right..So teacher, is it alright if you change the miles part to kilometres or metres so we could answer the question? As miles isn't in our syllabus yet?
Miss Norhafiza : No, I won't do that.
Leonie : ..uhuh. Then can we skip this question for the time being and get back to this later?
Miss Norhafiza : No you can't do that either. Your reference books should have this information. Go and search for the answer yourself. It's self-discovery. No point in me giving you the answer as well.
Inner Leonie : You don't even know the answer. Bitch.

I honestly think she's incapable of being a teacher even.

And now, Leonie shall now gladly take up the new job of making sure this teacher fails her practical in this school.

Hell yeah, won't she have a time of her life from now on.

*****To Azri and Anna-chan, we shall paint and draw one fine day, and for a long time too. Senpai and senpai ;)

*****First round of debate is tomorrow.

I'm damn freak nervous actually.

Wish me luck.

Hopefully you'll see good news here after tomorrow afternoon.

Till then. *fingers crossed*

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I'm glad that the first monthly test is done and over with.

I know very well I'm going to flunk all my subjects, and yes that includes English and EST, I really think I have to start to buck up on my studies. Mind you, balancing twelve subjects with debate, Interact, music and Japanese classes, prefect duties, competitions, the school's editorial board, Queen's Guide and anything else school-related that I'm involved in with tuition, piano lessons, and the most dreaded homework from both school AND tuition is NAWT EASY.

Yes I know my life sounds very boring, I don't need anyone else rubbing more salt and lemon into the wound, thank you very much.

But honestly, I seriously got to find a way to get used to this kind of lifestyle soon.

Or I'll be a walking zombie by the end of high school.

Speaking of school, other than all those that I had mentioned earlier to survive in, there's also the inside politics to handle and deal with. I think no further elaboration is needed on this for the time being.

4 Science 1 might be the best class I had ever been in, so far.

But academic-wise, it is also the most stressful place to be in during tests and anything studies-related.

This isn't really my ideal environment, I don't get the point of stressing over studies too much. I mean, yearh sure, studies are hell important, but seeing people memorizing the crap outta their brains and getting all cranky due to it is just pissing me off. If they can't get all the facts and formulas into their heads, why choose to release your emotions on some innocent classmate(s)?

No matter what happens in all the chaos during tests, I'll stay firm with my principle in life, contrary to what the majority of students nowadays might think, or had been implanted in their poor brains.

I study for the sake of knowledge. I won't compete with my friends studies-wise. As long as I get good grades and learn something in the process, I'm a satisfied human. I already have a lot to deal with, I can sure do without the stress of fighting it out mentally with the rest of the fourth formers, in fact.

In truth, I had thought of dropping classes as well.

But I'm still staying on.

For the sake of my awesome friends.

And for the major fact that I DO NOT WANT ANYBODY TO LOOK DOWN ON ME NOR MY FAMILY.

I had been stepped on, dissed at, backstabbed, you name it, I'd been there, done that. My mumsie especially, had been going through with all these, verbally and physically at times, by relatives and her so-called friends.

That's why I'd really prayed so hard for straight A's for PMR.

Because nobody in both my dad and mum's side of the family, my cousins namely, had gotten straight A's for PMR before.

And I can proudly say that I am the first to achieve it.

The moment I got my results, I was really pleased with the fact my usually conservative mum can finally have a chance to brag about me to her snobby siblings and in-laws, who would usually sneer at us 'cos we're financially unstable and the drama in my family..is too much. And they actually find it funny.

I was so pissed.

So freaking pissed.

I honestly am NOT close to any of my relatives at all, because of the fact that I always had problems communicating with them, as my kor and I are the only Malay and English educated kids among the lot, while the rest of my cousins are pure Chinese-breds.

I can speak, write and understand simple everyday Chinese, but there's bound to be a difference in their mindsets and mine. They love Taiwan boy bands and Korean dramas, I prefer books and rock and jazz. They dress lala while I feel comfortable in jeans and a tee. And they call me plain-looking and behind the latest trends for that. This is why I am and never will be chummy with my cousins, and relatives for that.

Enough about my family background. I think I said too much already. Any more and I have no idea what the consequences may be.

Now, let's talk about YOU.

YOU have no idea how much of a bitch you're being to me. Sure, I know I'm not a good dancer like you, but honestly, I just wanted to know whether I was good, average, or honestly dancing isn't my thing at all. From the way you said it, the cowardly side of me took place and I decided not to know the truth in the end. 'Cos I know it's going to hurt somehow, and hence me now assuming the fact that I suck in dancing. I slacked in practice right after you arrived. This really brought me down, and it isn't the only thing too. Recently YOU had been shunning me off, as if I did something wrong to you or what the heck. Even if I did, YOU are not confronting me about it and directly telling it to my face. It might hurt, but at least I know what's going on in your mind. And if it's something really bad about me, I would change, not immediately, but give me time and only time will tell.

I feel that you had been using me physically as well to get attention for yourself. And I will tell you now, I don't like it. Not one bit of it. It sucks being your underling and you doing whatever you please to me. I have a brain and an able body of my own, why must I succumb to what you think is right? It might be right for you, but for me? It's all so wrong, no words can describe how shitty I feel inside.

I had thought some time before ranting about this, as you had been spending on me and I feel bad for not getting anything for you, as I can tell you the painfully honest truth, I'm financially unstable now. But really, even if you don't get me all that, all I want from you is to just be an honest friend to me. Is it all that hard?

And you know what? I don't want to fucking talk to you for now unless completely necessary.

*****It's the flu season y'all.

May is not coming to school tomorrow already.

So, take good care of yourselves, drink more H20, and have adequate rest aye!

Till the next post.

I feel slightly better now after all that typing.

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It’s not an English name I came up with for myself. My mother is indeed a genius in coming up with such a splendid name for me. Although my name has been unfortunately mutilated (nicknames are excluded) over the past years, full credits to my mum for my current identity.

I’m certainly looking forward to changing the word ‘patient’ to ‘survivor’! If you’re interested to read about my journey in battling lymphoma, you can click here to proceed to my cancer blog.

Ironic, I know; this blog is mainly pink instead. I like all colours actually, but I find myself having an affinity to the colour green. In fact, I can safely say that green is my soul colour.

Languages, music, fashion, photography, cultures, dance, literature, writing; just about anything, really. The arts truly intrigue me, especially thought-provoking pieces. Of course, the arts play a major role in inspiring me in my everyday life.

I don’t have a favourite genre – I read any book that interests me!

I am a trained right-hander from young, since apparently being left-handed is considered ‘wrong’. Basically, I’m ambidextrous! No wonder I find it easier to air guitar using my left hand than my right; I simply relate to the arts than subjects that deal with logical thinking better, too.

A stubborn Bull I am, too. I abhor being rushed. I prefer doing matters at my own reasonable pace. I don’t particularly like changes in my routine, but I can adapt quite easily. I’m a very practical person as well. I enjoy the beautiful things in life, but that doesn’t make me shun ugliness at all. Besides, it all depends on how one perceives beauty. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder!

Still am, but I’m slowly learning to accept imperfection into my life. Also, I’m doing my best to erase the many expectations I have so I could one day master the art of letting go and freeing myself to simple happiness and joy.

Compared to before, I’m less dramatic nowadays. Language-wise, I attempt to blog flawlessly in English and speak proper English online with my peers. Call me a Grammar Nazi all you want, but that’s how I roll. I only converse in perfect English in formal situations and during my dramatic outbursts. Otherwise, I’m absolutely capable of communicating like the average Malaysian!

It’s a different issue altogether when you’re forced to learn for the sake of getting good grades, though. Other than that, I’m open to new information and knowledge anytime! I especially would like to learn more languages and pick up new musical instruments.

…are just some of the things I would love to do in the near future, hopefully!

the basic rules apply. If you respect me, I’ll respect you. If you happen to be someone who has low EQ skills, I’ll try to be tolerant but my patience is definitely limited. I’m observant when it comes to human behaviour. I’m a person of many opinions, but I don’t voice them out unless I trust you enough; I’m very honest and candid when it comes to the people I can trust. Even though I trust very easily, not everybody can prove that they’re all that nice. Hurt me, and I’ll only defend myself if necessary. Hurt my family or my friends – you won’t find me holding back.

Is there anything else you would like to know about me?
Throw me your questions and/or doubts here! I honestly have nothing to hide, so you’ll expect the truth and nothing but the truth.

It’s only how I phrase my answers that you’ll have to be aware of.
Or…you can click hereto go back to reading!

Tearing up,
but she can't speak.
One word from her,
no one tried to believe.
Those who did,
but they're not she.
Beneath those eyes the hurt is immense,
but she forced a smile.
Behind that mask is a dying soul.
Whoever would know?
asks herself to the inner she,
Who would remove that mask of mine to see
the unhappiness and doubts;
the fears and scars
all locked up in me?
Behind this facade,
I'll just have to live
an actor's life,
another question left unanswered -
where's my Oscar and Grammy?

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"I know I did my part in saving Gaia."

Question is..

















..did you?
Note to Naomi : You're the most passionate human I know in promoting campaigns like Earth Hour and especially about PETA. And you very well did your part in letting more people know about Earth Hour. So yeah, I totally understand you're pissed, but just so you know, you did your part already, alrighty. Do cheer up yeah.

Till the next entry, cheers!

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And that shall be Miss Karyn Ong,
with her six-eared self and bespectacled by five.
She is AWESOMENESS.
Full stop.

There Karyn darling,
I blogged about your AWESOMENESS.
You should be satisfied now.
xD

Still..
I miss you loads supermodel!
Can't wait to see you during Convent's IU!
(:

xoxo,
yours truly.
;)

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An update from me, after being MIA (Missing In Action) for more than a week.

And I apologize about that, really. Especially to Anna-chan and Azri-chan.

Had been really caught up with debate recently, as y'all should know. Been missing heck loads of classes and I am clueless on how to catch up with the lessons and homework for now.

Scared? Afraid? Paranoid?
All three of the above please.

Right after school reopened from the one week hols, Monday and Tuesday had been spent on continuous debate meetings that made both sides of my brain hurt so bad. Tuesday was also the debate itself against SDJ, and I think I slacked big time. As in, my delivery and style sucks lollipops. No doubt about that, since Miss Nav highlighted it to me repeatedly after the results were announced. Thank gawd we won actually, for the consequences would have been far more drastic. She would never let me live it down, that's Miss Nav for you.

Convent is up next. All these years our team would always fall when it's the round against Convent, I think a lot of you are very clear about that. Whatever the reasons are, we'll never know. Still, we're going to the semi-finals now, and whatever happens next, I can only pray that everything would go smoothly for us.

Saw Kamalia on Monday as well. She was with Sarah Faiqah and I missed her so. She managed to drop by our school for awhile before registering at her hostel in the evening. Off she goes to STF. Hope she’ll be well there. When she left, I knew it’ll be the last time she’ll affectionately plant kisses on my cheeks again, especially when she noticed that I looked stressed out in class. 4 Science 1/2009 will always heart you dear.

And I think my classmates would know, I had been absent from school yesterday.

And today as well.

Stupid knee infection.

Thinking everything was better, I went to SSI on Wednesday to watch their round against SMK Dato' (?)Osman / Usman(?) Awang with Fairuz. I refuse to comment any further on that round. But yeah, a certain he and I both agreed it’s best that we stay good friends. No more, no less. All I can say to him is, all the best with her now. I’ll help all I can within my abilities of course.

I didn’t get to answer two fairly important phone calls because of very personal reasons. He knows. And I’m really sorry about it still. Hopefully Sunday works out for us (:

*****Fio’s Blacklight was pretty awesome.

Pictures are up in her Facebook, if you’re curious to see what you’d missed out on.

I might blog about it, I might not.

But it shall be stated here that I heart our so-called rehab gang on Sunday, which consists of Cai Ling the Lesbo Partner, The Chronicles of Farhan and Maurice and of course, the legal girl Miss Fio aka the serial rapist.

Cai Ling and I would do almost anything to turn back time to that particular Sunday again.

For the both of us, it’s having that hint of freedom after being caged in our respective houses for so long.

For me, only you’ll know ;)

*****Coming up, two birthdays!

And after wishing tons of friends “Happy Birthday” throughout these three months, I am very proud to say that..

"Moi is still so YOUNG baybeh!"

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Been working on this new skin for quite some time.

Will blog in detail in a short while.

"I hope."

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" Voilà! In view, a humble vaudevillian veteran, cast vicariously as both victim and villain by the vicissitudes of fate. This visage, no mere veneer of vanity, is a vestige of the vox populi, now vacant, vanished. However, this valorous visitation of a bygone vexation stands vivified, and has vowed to vanquish these venal and virulent vermin vanguarding vice and vouchsafing the violently vicious and voracious violation of volition. The only verdict is vengeance; a vendetta held as a votive, not in vain, for the value and veracity of such shall one day vindicate the vigilant and the virtuous. Verily, this vichyssoise of verbiage veers most verbose, so let me simply add that it's my very good honor to meet you and you may call me.."

"V."

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Awwww..
"CUTENESS REIGNS IN PINK."
Due to bad weather circumstances, and me deciding not to take a single risk of sending the modem to the graveyard under the same bad weather circumstances, I am now blogging using Microsoft Word while waiting for the thunders, lightning, cats and dogs to subside.

How are my holidays so far, you may ask?

Well, Saturday was spent at Omega for Physics tuition, me doodling a lot on my notes to make them look more interesting, considering the fact that I have a bad feeling I’m going to hate this subject, and trying to entertain Khairina and myself at the same time while trying to absorb whatever Physics facts that Mr Cham was saying in front of the class.

Oh yeah, The Slipper Incident! ROFLMAO!

Hung out at Fio’s on Sunday and it was still, raining cats and dogs. Fio, Shu Rong and I spent a good thirty minutes drying the Blacklight Area, as Fio calls it, while Najwa was busy ooh-ing and aah-ing at the computer screen grinning and giggling to herself at a particular someone’s blog. Make that two people’s blogs.

Fio and Shu Rong also had fun with the car apparently. Lol. Heating the towels that way is one of a kind indeed.

And yeah, how can I ever forget the moments when Fio and I were happily tormenting and torturing Najwa at last! Finally that woman has a taste of her own medicine! May, you should thank me, and especially Fio for doing most of the job! XD

Righty, another thing.

PINK VODKA IS VERY CUTE.
Well, only the four of us at Fio’s that time would know what I mean ;)

*****Should get working on that Magazine Workshop blog post once I'm done with some of the homework, just to please mumsie for the time being so I can go online and blog.

Naomi, you should be looking forward to this one I think x]

Till the next post, xoxo from yours truly!

I miss Azri and Anna a whole damn lot DX

I sound very bimbotic in this post somehow. It'll wear off soon, no worries.

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Credits to Tsinelas by Mikashitamo.
There is a very good reason for that picture above.

Concerning that, at approximately 7.45PM earlier, the whole family had dinner together and were TRYING to get back to the car.

Three problems that were faced while TRYING to do so :

1. It was raining cats and dogs.
2. The car was at the other side of the road.
3. Nobody brought the umbrella out.
   

So, we managed to borrow an umbrella (thanks to the owner of that umbrella by the way) and with that one umbrella, 'Daddykins' and kor went to the car first and then the former came back with an extra umbrella from the car for mumsie and to escort moi back.

Before that, while they were busy getting soaked in the rain, mumsie and I saw a mother and a daughter aged six or so if I'm not mistaken with an umbrella, obviously trying to cross the road to get to the other side as well.

The kid was whining 'cos she didn't want to get her pretty polished black Mary Janes wet from the flooding roadsides. So, after much fidgeting and persuasion, her mum finally decided to carry her across the roadside and smiled at mumsie and I while she was at it.

Not too long after that..

Daddykins : Girl, you're wearing slippers right?
Leonie : Yeaaaaaaaaah.
Daddykins : Then 'it' shouldn't be a problem. *stares at the continuously flooding roadside*
Leonie : ..geranimooooooooooo!

The water was freaking cold, I giggled when I first stepped into it, almost fell too. But I managed to regain enough balance to stand up again.

It was then I exclaimed loudly enough for my parents to hear in the pouring rain,

"MY SLIPPER'S FLOATING AWAY!"
Thank gawd it did not go far enough till it ends up in the drain or underneath someone's car, or it's goodbye forever to that pretty slipper I bought in Melaka last year.

Silly me. LOL.

On another random note, I decided to finally add more friends on my brand new Myspace account, and the first among that batch of friends was Karyn Ong.

Check out our statuses XD
*****I actually updated twice in a day!

Azri the nenek would like that :P

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"And you're leaving,
never to come back again.
Your departure will leave an imprint of you in our lives.
But it'll never be the same again."
And to think I thought that after Mella, 4 Science 1/2009 would be staying that way till the year is over and done with.

I was wrong. As usual.

Right after the Interact, Prefect and debate meeting yesterday, Azri came running to me from the other side of the field to me and said while panting,

"Lya is going to STF."
And again, I was just flabbergasted when I pieced her words together.

I know that Kamalia had told me a couple of times previously that her mum would want her to study in STF, as much as she doesn't really want to, well..

..things happen.

Azri then continued by saying that yesterday was the last day for students to register at STF, and..

Sigh.

What can I say now? I have no power to stop her from leaving. As much as we don't want her to go, but who knows? This might be all the better for her.

So Kamalia, I can merely wish you all the best at your new school, if you happen to be accepted that is. I know that your Ninja buddies will miss you the most.

We 4SC1 peeps will miss you too.

As for me?


My last memories of you?

When we did our History presentation together with Alya and Najwa. You talked about Alexander the Great while I crapped about Shih Huang Ti.

When I asked Jia Ying to pass a message to you and Alya while Sarannia was presenting her group presentation for History to know whether you guys have taken your Biology practical books back or not, since I was freaking worried I might had misplaced your books. My table was seriously super messy that day.

When you said you love me, gave me another one of your friendly random sweet kisses and held my hand, just being a friend.

I'm mentally preparing myself for the next thing that could happen, so that the pain wouldn't be such an excruciating one if the time does come.


"Who's next?"

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What seemed to be a usual morning, except for the fact that HER and me aren't on talking terms, turned totally upside down in just a matter of seconds.

During the start of Physics in school..

Monitor : Good morning, Miss Norhafiza.
Class : Good morning, Miss Norhafiza.
Miss Norhafiza : Good morning, class. Let's read the prayer.
*Muslims in class starts reciting the prayer*
Miss Norhafiza : Have a seat please. *pause* Nak belajar ke tak hari ni?
Student A and B : Nak..(in a monotonous tone)
Leonie : Tak nak..(in a JOKING manner)
Miss Norhafiza : Kalau tak nak, keluar dari kelas sekarang.
Leonie : *stares in disbelief*
Miss Norhafiza : I mean it, get out of the class NOW. *points to the door*
Leonie : *thinks twice about stepping out from the lab, but decides not to as the class will be doing an experiment concerning the ticker timer later on* But teacher, I was just.. *wanted to say joking but knowing how much trouble she'll get into it for it*
Miss Norhafiza : Joking? But I'm serious.
Leonie : *tries to think of a witty comeback but was too shocked by the sudden change in mood of the teacher, so fails miserably and just decides to say..* I'm sorry, teacher.
Inner Leonie says : Fuck yourself, BITCH. Even if you're having PMS for all I care, you don't have the right to pick on me like that. The whole class knew I was joking, so why couldn't you just let it go and ignore it? Sensitive moody BITCH.
Miss Norhafiza : *starts going ballistic all of a sudden* The non-Muslims in this class, don't you have any respect for us while we're reciting the prayer?! Even if you're not a Muslim, you should be having your own prayer to recite and not talking and playing around while we're reciting the prayer. Don't you have any respect for us?! I really don't want to scold you all and I hate showing you my ugly face, so please, show me some respect!
Inner Leonie : UGH! I wasn't even making the slightest sound while you guys are reciting the prayer! So why does it have to be ME who gets victimized?? Bitch bitch bitch bitch BITCH!!!

(Song playing in Leonie's head throughout the whole Physics lesson - Family Reunion by Blink 182. Note : I don't mean any of the lyrics in the song literally, but just swearing using the words from it. Why can't I post the lyrics here? Well, go Google it up and you'll know the reason why. Eheh.)

I was sarcastic throughout the entire lesson, and I showed my displeasure clearly to the teacher whenever I could. Hence, Leonie sincerely apologizes if any of my 4 Science 1 peeps got offended by Leonie's tone while she's speaking to you. She totally doesn't mean it, only maybe towards that same teacher of course.

I can honestly tell you, my blood was literally BOILING during the whole lesson. I couldn't really concentrate that much, and I did tried to focus on doing the stupid report, but it was then I realized I started getting all teary.

Couldn't wait for the class to be over, and while the class wished her at the end of the lesson, I didn't even bother looking at her nor wished her and stormed out of class right past her. I couldn't care less anymore about getting blacklisted or anything, since I had always been paranoid with the whole demerit system and me being a perfectionist (and a freaking prefect at that), doesn't like being in the bad books of any teacher.

I shall gladly elaborate more about her profound teaching methods later on which made me dislike her in the first place.

All there is to this story after I left the Physics' lab, I fast-walked back to class and was the first to arrive. I sat down at my place alone, and the incident from Physics class earlier left me quite scarred. Normal for a goody-two-shoes like me in school.

Min Wen and Jia Xin came up to class not long after and Min Wen approached me, asking me whether I was alright or not.

It was then I started cursing in Chinese and ranting and raising my voice and dissatisfaction on that teacher. I went on and on and on..

And then, I started crying. In rage.

I was so freaking frustrated with life at that juncture. I just broke down.

Min Wen was super shocked I cried all of a sudden, and tried to calm me down.

I just cried harder.

The rest of my class peeps came up soon, and saw me in that pathetic state, and were persuading me to stop crying and that it wasn't worth crying over the Physics teacher. Evonne was saying that she might had forgotten all about it already and that it was her being moody.

I was kinda ignoring the earlier comments, as I was crying so hard, I couldn't concentrate on what they were saying.

All I could feel was May rubbing my back non-stop, showing that she is there for me.

Then, I felt somebody who hugged me from behind.

"Leonie, don't cry anymore.."
Whoever that voice could belong to if not my darling Anna Sabrina.

There was something about her voice that I could feel that pinch of sincerity, her caring self being there for me, making sure that I'm alright.

I just turned around and hugged her.

I didn't want to let go. There was something about Anna's hug that soothed me, somehow.

"Leonie, don't cry anymore, or I'm gonna cry too.."

"I'm so sorry Anna..Don't cry..I'll try to stop for you.."
I then quickly forced a smile to try and create more happy hormones in my body so that I'll try to stop crying naturally.

It was at that part I heard my friends talking about the weirdness, craziness, madness, etc. of the Physics practical teacher when I got to one part where Tasha or Soske, I can't make out the voice that time, saying that the teacher was having PMS and somebody should hand her a pad.

I then decided to step in at this point and said, "I don't think she's having PMS, guys. Poor thing, she's probably having her menopause too early."

Some laughed, some were shocked at what I said, but in a good way, as they take it as a sign that I'm starting to recover from the whole incident.

Anna then asked me whether I want sweets or not to cheer me up, but even though I said it was okay, she vanished almost in a second and reappeared out of nowhere holding a tin of bubblegum that Veena and May got for her I think. It was supposed to make your tongue turn into outrageous shades of acidic colours, and the small gang that gathered around my table were real excited about it. Everybody wanted a share, but Anna dear wanted to give me the first outta it.

So, Anna and Veena were working hard to try and open the tin, using rulers, zips, anything accesible. When it was finally opened, they were asking me to choose, but though I was so sure I wanted a green tongue so I could let go of my hair, find a long white robe from somewhere and impersonate Sadako to scare the living daylights out of that teacher, I didn't in the end, as I didn't want to give the other teachers in the school a scare with my green tongue. So the alternative that Anna offered me - a Blackcurrant Sugus. And it's ok Anna, I don't mind that it'd melted =)

Actually, the main reason why I cried wasn't fully because of what happened in Physics earlier.

Firstly, I cried 'cos of rage. I couldn't believe a teacher can actually find fault with me in that way.

Second, I was pissed. About everything that's happening between HER and me.

Third, I was depressed. Over family stuff.

Fourth, I was upset. It's stupid and weird that it had to happen at a time like this, when we're both in the same team for debate. You have your pride, but so do I. I won't hail to you like how I usually do the last time. You want war? Bring it on. 'Cos I won't surrender so easily this time round. I feel so weak and pathetic 'cos I realized I'm always shedding my precious tears for YOU. But guess what?

You weren't there when I broke down today.

You didn't approach me for anything at all.

You didn't try to make things right.

I know I said I didn't want to talk to you, not like I wanted to at a time like that, but if I were you, I would had set aside all those differences we had and try and be there for you first.

Since you obviously don't think the same way, I guess this is it then, if this is how you want things to be.

Thinking back about all that, tears started to fall again without me wanting to.

I quickly wiped them off as tried to clean my specs with my blazer, but failed miserably.

Not long after, Anna came running along with the cloth thingy that's specially used to clean the specs' lens. If you have specs, you'll know what I mean. I didn't even ask for it but Anna being the attentive one just came along to give me that for me to use. I was seriously touched, really. Thanks so much Anna. For being such a good friend and scandal partner. Every single thing you did for me today, I really do appreciate so much. I love you darling.

Still, I couldn't hold those tears in.

Then comes my Pikachu aka Ah Yuan. She came and saw me tearing up, and told me not to cry. Unfortunately, I did again but she was there, so I stopped as quickly as I started. I love you too budak.

I love all of you that were there for me even if I looked miserably horribly weak and pathetic then.

To the aforementioned names above, a million thanks.

To Azri, Cassan, Vivian, Fairuz, Sarah, Jia Ying, Raja - to you guys too.

And if there are any names I missed out, I'm grateful to every one of you for being there for me.

The time during Mathematics class, which till now I could still hear the applause from the beloved of 4 Science 1. Thanks guys. That really motivated me a lot, after that incident and me breaking down and all :')

Now, back to the teaching methods.

Let me first mention that Miss Norhafiza here had studied in UK for the past THREE years majoring in Physics.

She has an accent.

But her English is seriously SO THE POWDERFUL man.

Just to list one of the many examples, to her 'situation' is spelt as 'situasion'.

Example two :

This happened yesterday by the way.

Veena : Teacher, how many kilometres is one mile?
Miss Norhafiza : I think it's 100km..no wait, it's 100m..or was it 1000m? *starting drawing imaginary figures in the air and counting with her fingers* *long pause* I don't know.
Leonie : Right..So teacher, is it alright if you change the miles part to kilometres or metres so we could answer the question? As miles isn't in our syllabus yet?
Miss Norhafiza : No, I won't do that.
Leonie : ..uhuh. Then can we skip this question for the time being and get back to this later?
Miss Norhafiza : No you can't do that either. Your reference books should have this information. Go and search for the answer yourself. It's self-discovery. No point in me giving you the answer as well.
Inner Leonie : You don't even know the answer. Bitch.

I honestly think she's incapable of being a teacher even.

And now, Leonie shall now gladly take up the new job of making sure this teacher fails her practical in this school.

Hell yeah, won't she have a time of her life from now on.

*****To Azri and Anna-chan, we shall paint and draw one fine day, and for a long time too. Senpai and senpai ;)

*****First round of debate is tomorrow.

I'm damn freak nervous actually.

Wish me luck.

Hopefully you'll see good news here after tomorrow afternoon.

Till then. *fingers crossed*

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I'm glad that the first monthly test is done and over with.

I know very well I'm going to flunk all my subjects, and yes that includes English and EST, I really think I have to start to buck up on my studies. Mind you, balancing twelve subjects with debate, Interact, music and Japanese classes, prefect duties, competitions, the school's editorial board, Queen's Guide and anything else school-related that I'm involved in with tuition, piano lessons, and the most dreaded homework from both school AND tuition is NAWT EASY.

Yes I know my life sounds very boring, I don't need anyone else rubbing more salt and lemon into the wound, thank you very much.

But honestly, I seriously got to find a way to get used to this kind of lifestyle soon.

Or I'll be a walking zombie by the end of high school.

Speaking of school, other than all those that I had mentioned earlier to survive in, there's also the inside politics to handle and deal with. I think no further elaboration is needed on this for the time being.

4 Science 1 might be the best class I had ever been in, so far.

But academic-wise, it is also the most stressful place to be in during tests and anything studies-related.

This isn't really my ideal environment, I don't get the point of stressing over studies too much. I mean, yearh sure, studies are hell important, but seeing people memorizing the crap outta their brains and getting all cranky due to it is just pissing me off. If they can't get all the facts and formulas into their heads, why choose to release your emotions on some innocent classmate(s)?

No matter what happens in all the chaos during tests, I'll stay firm with my principle in life, contrary to what the majority of students nowadays might think, or had been implanted in their poor brains.

I study for the sake of knowledge. I won't compete with my friends studies-wise. As long as I get good grades and learn something in the process, I'm a satisfied human. I already have a lot to deal with, I can sure do without the stress of fighting it out mentally with the rest of the fourth formers, in fact.

In truth, I had thought of dropping classes as well.

But I'm still staying on.

For the sake of my awesome friends.

And for the major fact that I DO NOT WANT ANYBODY TO LOOK DOWN ON ME NOR MY FAMILY.

I had been stepped on, dissed at, backstabbed, you name it, I'd been there, done that. My mumsie especially, had been going through with all these, verbally and physically at times, by relatives and her so-called friends.

That's why I'd really prayed so hard for straight A's for PMR.

Because nobody in both my dad and mum's side of the family, my cousins namely, had gotten straight A's for PMR before.

And I can proudly say that I am the first to achieve it.

The moment I got my results, I was really pleased with the fact my usually conservative mum can finally have a chance to brag about me to her snobby siblings and in-laws, who would usually sneer at us 'cos we're financially unstable and the drama in my family..is too much. And they actually find it funny.

I was so pissed.

So freaking pissed.

I honestly am NOT close to any of my relatives at all, because of the fact that I always had problems communicating with them, as my kor and I are the only Malay and English educated kids among the lot, while the rest of my cousins are pure Chinese-breds.

I can speak, write and understand simple everyday Chinese, but there's bound to be a difference in their mindsets and mine. They love Taiwan boy bands and Korean dramas, I prefer books and rock and jazz. They dress lala while I feel comfortable in jeans and a tee. And they call me plain-looking and behind the latest trends for that. This is why I am and never will be chummy with my cousins, and relatives for that.

Enough about my family background. I think I said too much already. Any more and I have no idea what the consequences may be.

Now, let's talk about YOU.

YOU have no idea how much of a bitch you're being to me. Sure, I know I'm not a good dancer like you, but honestly, I just wanted to know whether I was good, average, or honestly dancing isn't my thing at all. From the way you said it, the cowardly side of me took place and I decided not to know the truth in the end. 'Cos I know it's going to hurt somehow, and hence me now assuming the fact that I suck in dancing. I slacked in practice right after you arrived. This really brought me down, and it isn't the only thing too. Recently YOU had been shunning me off, as if I did something wrong to you or what the heck. Even if I did, YOU are not confronting me about it and directly telling it to my face. It might hurt, but at least I know what's going on in your mind. And if it's something really bad about me, I would change, not immediately, but give me time and only time will tell.

I feel that you had been using me physically as well to get attention for yourself. And I will tell you now, I don't like it. Not one bit of it. It sucks being your underling and you doing whatever you please to me. I have a brain and an able body of my own, why must I succumb to what you think is right? It might be right for you, but for me? It's all so wrong, no words can describe how shitty I feel inside.

I had thought some time before ranting about this, as you had been spending on me and I feel bad for not getting anything for you, as I can tell you the painfully honest truth, I'm financially unstable now. But really, even if you don't get me all that, all I want from you is to just be an honest friend to me. Is it all that hard?

And you know what? I don't want to fucking talk to you for now unless completely necessary.

*****It's the flu season y'all.

May is not coming to school tomorrow already.

So, take good care of yourselves, drink more H20, and have adequate rest aye!

Till the next post.

I feel slightly better now after all that typing.

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