Hello there =)

I'd just read your latest blog entry and yes, I'm another who had watched the short documentary on Channel 8 yesterday night. I must say I was and still am very touched by the documentary. And I'm very impressed with your determination and strong-willed personality to continue living life in such a positive light. It seems that all the problems that I go through as a fifteen year old Malaysian student are just not as major compared to what you're currently facing. I'm just very wowed by your efforts in everything you do, and how you're living life to the fullest everyday. From that one documentary, I'd learnt a lot from your optimism. Really.

Maybe you'd read similar emails like mine but I'm really sincere about every single word that I'm typing right now. I'm not very good with words either, so if you'd felt offended by my email I truly apologize.

Anyhow, I wish you all the best in your battle against cancer.

Best wishes,
Leonie.

PS : Do say hi to Toby and Josie for me if you don't mind :)

5th November 2008.

I never expected a reply, but Shin did reply to my email. I would like to share with my readers here her email to me.

Leonie,

Thanks for your kind e-mail. It's taken me a while to respond because I only just saw it. I look at my Gmail account once every week or so. This Yahoo account is more reliable if you want to contact me.

I truly appreciate your words of praise and encouragement.

You say that you're a 15-year-old Malaysian student and that you're not good with words? You should know that your short note was more articulate, well-written, and intelligently expressed than most of the comments I've been getting - many of them, adult professionals.

I don't know what you plan on doing with your future, but with your gift of expression, I think you've got a bright future ahead of you, professionally. And more important, you seem to have a maturity and insight beyond your age. I'm betting that you go on do something great with your life - not in terms of money or fame, but something that will make a difference to the people and the community around you.

Thanks, and good luck to you.

Shin
http://shinscancerblog.blogspot.com

11th November 2008.

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I now refer to them as my inspirations for going bald.
There's more to come. ;)

In Malaysia,
we have..

Sharifah Amani.

She shaved her head bald for her role in the Yasmin's Muallaf.
Despite the controversies -
whether it's about going against Islam and such,
she did it anyway.
I admire her spunk and wanting to make her role more alive and real.

And now,
we shall move on to Japan,
a fellow Asian country.

Tomomi Maruyama.

He acted as Yasu in both Nana films.
He shaved his head bald because Yasu is his favourite character in the manga.
Well, that's pretty awesome of him.
Because he could have chose to wear a skull cap for filming,
yet he chose to shave his head bald,
to embody his favourite character,
and get into the role he loves.
Besides, this guy looks awesome bald.
Both Yasu and Tomomi, I mean.

And next,
how can I ever forget,
this lovely lady from the West.
Natalie Portman.

She shaved her head bald for her role in V for Vendetta.
She looks absolutely stunning.
Look at her.
Just look at her.
Again, she could have chose to wear a skull cap.
And spend longer time in hair and makeup.
But no, she didn't.

All three of them shaved their heads for their respective roles.
And they pulled it off.
A very good job, at that.

Now,
they shaved their heads because of their jobs.

I'm going to shave my head,
because of my drastic hair loss.

And hell,
here's three cheers to my becoming being a skinhead.

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Hello readers.
You might be wondering about this certain question,
as you lay your eyes on this photo of mine.

Why the need for a shower cap?

Dear readers,
before I move on to answering that question of yours,
let me enlighten you all about something.

I have a few close friends, and some juniors,
that have been asking me this question,
that I really abhor.

"Are you going to lose your hair?"

All of them,
asked me this question,
in those very same words.

The then me was patient enough with the aforementioned question.
I answered them, even though I hated this question.

Truthfully,
I just saw no point in them asking an obvious question.
It's like,
are you concerned about my hair and the way I look like,
more than my health?

I blogged about this issue before,
in hopes of people to not ask said question again.

But no,
I still get people asking me question.

Why..?

I confided in my mum about this.
I told my mum how pissed I was in people asking this question.

In the end,
the solution my mother offered?

"Just ignore the text if it pisses you off.
Reply only when you feel like it.
It's not healthy for you to store negative emotions in you."

So I took her advice.

But finally,
the hair loss became more apparent from Wednesday onwards.

For my dear readers' information,
cancer patients who undergo chemotherapy do not just lose their hair,
the hair that crowns your head.

Patients who go for chemo,
also lose their body hair - on their arms and legs.
Not forgetting your eyebrows and eyelashes.
And also, yes,
pubic hair.

I'm just being honest with my readers about the realities of undergoing chemotherapy as a cancer patient.

Those things you see in the movies and serial dramas?
Exaggerated.
Seriously.

So yes,
I admit.

This hair loss thing finally got to me.
I won't deny it.

I get scared every time I randomly run my fingers through my hair,
and a whole clump of hair comes out.

I'm not afraid of the prospect of going bald,
I'm just scared of the process of losing my hair.

My mane has been protecting my head for the past 17 years of my life.
From the sun, the rain,
and it contributes a whole damn lot in maintaining my already low confidence level.

Which is why losing my mane like this,
really freaks me out.

I rather go bald,
then to endure this.

So yes,
to every one of you,

I am shaving my head bald.

Go figure.
;)

Be prepared for my new look y'all.

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MY LONG LOST BLOG SISTER

This post is dedicated to my one and only

Mindel Trance

Dramatic Tophatter

my long lost blog sister

Leonie

She's this amazing girl who found my Friendster in 2008. She added me, commented on my page, and then read my blog. A few weeks later, I realized that she keeps up on my blog a lot, so I decided to keep up on hers. When I read her about me, my jaw dropped. Seriously. I was like, 'OMGWTFBBQSAUCE I'VE NEVER MET ANYONE WITH THIS MUCH COMMON INTERESTS AS ME IN MY ENTIRE LIFE BEFORE IS SHE MY FUGGIN SOULMATE OR SOMETHING' 'cool.'


So, we added each other on everything. We got to know each other on MSN and exchanged numbers just in case she comes to KL so we can meet up. I want to meet up with her so badly. I owe her so many outings due to a lot of bullshit happening in my life. I regret letting those chances slip away.


Now, she's undergoing chemotherapy for lymphoma. And it got me thinking,


'Why did an extraordinary and amazing person like her has to go through something like this and sit for SPM at the same time?'


It's not fair. I worry about her every day. I know. She's someone I've never even met. But she has always been there for me, through every high and every low, and what makes me even happier is that she'll be there for me no matter what. She's a really good friend, and I will in turn, be one to her as well.


But Leonie isn't just that.


She's my

soulmate.

I swear,


it was

love at first sight.

©Deirdre Wong.

★☮♥

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I'll be your Nana if you'll be my Ren.

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From May's blog:

KONG LEONIE!

I miss you.

Get well soon. I DON’T CARE YOU MUST. :P

Stay strong.

Stay positive.

I believe in you. ;)

And last but not least,

I LOVE YOU LOADS. :)

©Eng Sze May.

From Lyn-jie's blog:

I woke up, had my power breakfast, did my stretching, strength training, went out and jogged for 2 hours fml personal record it feels soooo good.

Came back and found out some not very happy stuff.

This blog post, I dedicate to my dear Mindel Trance, whom I sayang like my own younger sister.

Life's very not fair, especially not to someone who's 16 years old and whose only concern now should be like SPM and boys (or/and girls, for that matter).

I wish you well and strength for the arduous trials you are about to face in the months ahead, and I have little doubt that you will be able to get through it.

During which I will nonstop pamper you with meows and sayangs, doesn't matter that I'm in Aussieland.

After which we shall go get bikinified together yah :)

Take care my dear, and keep me updated.

©Lynette Ho.

From Fatin's blog:

yonie, i miss you. hope u're doing fine there. i tunggu u datang sekolah yea. promise me, nanti kita nyanyi meet me halfway sama2 taw. i tahu u kuat. we're all praying for you. i've so much to tell you..tak sabar nak gossip2 haha. wish u were here. sayang you yonie :) i wish i can do something better than this for you..but the best gift for you is the fact that we're FRIENDS ♥ ♥ Muahx Muahx ! hope it warms your heart :')

©Fatin Nabiha.

From Najwa's blog:

Remember the time when I had my operation and I posted what was wrong with me on my blog and blablabla.
Like how the thing actually is and how it looked like and everything.

My friends asked me WHY?
Why did I do such a thing?
Why did I made a graph on where it is located.

My answer was WHY NOT?

I saw Leonie's profile picture in FB.

She is pretty as always.
I think I've told her that a lot of times before.. =)
(But I'm still HOTTER btw)

Anyway,
What captured my attention was her caption.

There's nothing to be ashamed of :)

All I can say when I saw her caption was EXACTLY.

There is no need to feel ashamed of anything just because you've got this "thing".
This "thing" that not everyone has.
This "thing" that not everyone can relate to.

So when I posted about my condition in my blog.
I have nothing to be ashamed of.

So...
to Leonie.

Stay STRONG!

You have a GREAT and AWESOME future ahead of you.

Take care of yourself.

And so not fair you get to skip school more than I do. XD

©Najwa Hanee Hazza.

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Sunday, 25th July 2010

The following list are of the awesome people who dropped by my place to temporarily solve my problem of being socially-deprived from the outside world for too long due to a period of self-quarantine:

KARYN
FIONA
RACHEL
MINDY
FARHAN
MAURICE

It's been too long since I laughed so hard,
my head hurts.
Thanks guys. (:

And of course, I am eternally grateful for this.


It was just a passing remark on Facebook,
and you guys actually went all out to get one for me.

Boy, I'm touched.
Really. (':

Words aren't enough to express my gratitude for these people.

I am lucky to get to know these awesome humans.
I cannot ask for more. ♥

Rachel,
I'll definitely show you those ten films. ;)

Fio,
thanks so much for the music.
I think I'm going to have to need to see you again for more though. :P

Karyn,
you're awesome company for CSI. :D

We're all from different lifestyles and backgrounds.
Like these beautiful pastries dear Mindy had brought over.
Each one with its own unique look and taste.

But still,
united in one box,
they look lovely in such a harmonious pattern.

God,
I am sincerely lucky and grateful to have these people in my life.

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May, being the class monitor,
handed a lil' something to me on behalf of all the peeps.

It came in a paper box,
full of love. ♥

It was then dear mumsie decided -
"Let's buy a nice container to put your friends' love in."

So this was bought the night before I went for my op in Malacca,
last Wednesday at Mahkota Parade.

I was told to edit the paper box soon after.
I'm sorry if this seems like mutilation to you darlings.
I tried, really!
I'm losing my artistic touch I guess. :/

Nadwa's paper birds are at the study area,
at the top where I can easily see them everyday. (:

Leonie ♥s Nawa more!

All in all,
the members of 5 SC 1/2010 are keeping me strong.
And stronger by each passing day.

I miss you lovelies so freaking much.

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Obviously, I am now at home. I'm self-quarantined for the time being. Apparently going for chemo makes my immune system weak, so I'm very susceptible to the exposure of germs, viruses, bacteria and the likes.

Which is why I had been stuck at home since I'm back from Malacca on Monday evening. Boo.

In any case, staying at home hadn't been all that bad.

Like, I have the company of my new baby to keep me stress-free! Courtesy of my parents, who went all out to get her for me before I was due for the variety of treatments I'm going to receive.

Meet..


I heard that Pn. Adilah has been reading my blog. So, hi cikgu! I miss you! (:

But please friends, don't let any other teachers know of my blog link. It's pretty weird to have teachers reading my blog. Fellow peers who are bloggers, you should know what I mean. Hahah.

Oh yes, that picture of me in the beginning of this entry? It's my most recent.

Nope, no major hair loss yet. And yes, you can see the sites of my post-ops.

Well, there ain't anything to be ashamed about. So there. ;)

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"I'm still beautiful,
with or without my crown atop my head."
-Cancer is Beautiful, ©iddieforana.-
Hey dear readers. I'm back for another short update I guess. Heh.

So, as you all should know from my Facebook updates and tweets, I went for a minor surgery. It was to find out what kind of lymphoma I have.

Yes, it's a kind of cancer. And yes, it just hit me that I have cancer, at seventeen.

Not too shabby eh?

Yeah, well. I'm not happy that I have it, but since God, whether Buddha, Jesus Christ, or Allah s.w.t. (in no particular order) had decided that this is part of my adventure as an individual named Kong Leonie, all I can do is just to face it.

Be brave, be strong, and stay positive and happy.

This condition (I refuse to call it a disease, by the way) is making me lose precious time with my friends, whether at school or at tuition classes. Never thought there would be a day that I actually would miss my busy schedules. Lol.

Also, I miss all those familiar faces at school. At Omega. At Rohaini's.

But, quoting a character from the Channel 8 drama Your Hand In Mine, every misfortune sure has its blessings as well.

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I teared up reading my friends' recent blog entries. I couldn't help it.

So, I'm featuring and honouring their words here. It's a way of saying thank you, and also a reminder that I have loved ones going all out to support me in this journey of mine.

In which I shall talk about soon in my blog.

Let's start with this.

Anna's and Jia Ying's. ♥

From Anna's blog:

Dearest Leonie Sayang

Please get well soon

And come back to school as soon as possible

I miss hugging you,

annoying you,

singing to you,

smiling without reason at you,

giving random flowers to you,

making you laugh,

playing with you hair,

tickling you,

dancing make believe ballet with you,

calling you "LEONIE-CHAAAAAAN!!" loudly

and just having you around.

I miss you a lot

T________T

Shiawase na koto wo negaimasu

;_______;

©Anna Sabrina Ahmad Sopian.

From Jia Ying's blog:

this post is specially for KONG LEONIE! -
-
well.
thinking back all those memories we had together.
from singapore to ur constantly nagging us to be fast in class.
to our gossiping times n the times u rush to canteen jus to buy the pattaya
and the times we were not talking to each otha. it's silly now.
loads of memories of u.
-
-
hey gurl.
i would lyk to say
U SMELL NICE la . ;p happy? hee.
saje kacau pon xbleh. hmph! XD
-
-
well.
im waiting for u to come back to skul with ur wifey.
with alex the lion.
im waiting to see u coming in the skul compound in ur bj pengawas.
with ur soon to be torn skul bag ;p
im waiting for u to come sticking to me meowing non stop.
used to find it annoying. but i got used to it.
waiting for u to pat my bangs.
calling me a snell.
coming to the back of the class to talk to us.
im waiting for azri to bully u.
-
-
well.
u better come back u know.
but FIRST!!!!
ur HEALTH comes FIRST!!
bold big2 let u see! hee
-
-
i wan u to be healthy.
i wan u to think positively.
i wan u to pray.
i wan u to rest well.
i wan u to recover soon.
i wan u to be NOT so degil.
i wan u to be strong.
i wan u to be brave.
etc.
this is an order!
i DUN CARE!
-
-
everyone misses u.
it's been one week now.
it pains me to see u like this.
i dun wan!
i wan back the cheerful leonie.
rmb the changes i mention in ur bdae letter.
i wan u to be happy no matter wat!
-
-
remember that we will always be behind u
supporting u
giving u hugs n love
poking and cheering u
dun 4get our pianist anna playing nice songs for u.
dancing along wif her.singing songs wif her.
-
-
i dun care.
u muz get well soon.
remember my afta SPM to do list?
ur included.
its ok to not sit for SPM. SPM wont run off. =)
-
-
promise me.
to be strong and accept everything as fate.
but most important.
u must believe in fate. pray. keep urself calm.
and REST!
-
-
will stop here for now.
ILY! and IMY! meowy.
*hugs*
-
-
加油！
©Koh Jia Ying.

And now, not forgetting Sham Sham:

The Banner

We should like go to the front, open this one up so that everyone can't potong us during the marathon.

Ha! Nice strategy.

Have you guys all signed on this?

I don't think I have.

Yes, aku dah. Mana autograf aku? Wait, is this the one?

Oh no, itu Zulaikha punyalah.

Oh, whose is this? With the cat and all?

Anna of course! Look, got piano lagi!

Oh here, it's Leonie's. She's with us after all. We're going to carry you, Leonie!

*Leonie, I really hope you read this one. The whole class is missing you. Jadual Anjal mean less homework, so don't you worry about the work load :)

©Shamilla Selamat.

Anna, Jia Ying, and Shamilla.
Thank you so much.
I don't know what kind of words can I use to express my gratitude.

To all of my friends and loved ones,
I thank you for the endless support and concern as well.

To my parents,
for being there for me every step that I take in this phase of life,
for making my life easier,
for all the encouragement and love.

(':

★☮♥
I'm going to document these experiences,
and who knows?
I might just get it published.
Hahah.

★☮♥
By the way,
I'm using my new laptop to blog.
I shall introduce her to you readers very soon.
Heh.

★☮♥
May the results be alright.

★☮♥
Going to school later.
Can't wait to see the darlings. (:

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"I don't know what's right and what's real anymore;
and I don't know how I'm meant to feel anymore.
And when do you think it will all become clear?
'Cause I'm being taking over by The Fear."
-The Fear, ©Lily Allen.-
Never in my life had I went through that many medical procedures in just one day.

So, finally my body decided it's payback time, after being such a sick, frail human who falls ill just too easily to be true. And too often as well.

It's not like I don't take care of my health, it's just that my immune system is somehow really weak. Don't ask me why, I have no clue to that either.

Today, this blogger made a trip to get an X-ray done for her lungs.

At first, only one was done.

Then, I was asked to do a second one. This time, to get a clearer view of my right lung.

Fine, I did just that.

Finally, the report was out. And basically, life started going downhill for me when I read the words on that little piece of paper.

CHEST WITH RIGHT LATERAL VIEW: A LARGE ANTERIOR MEDIASTINAL MASS.
NO ABNORMALITY IN THE HEART, LUNGS AND BONY THORAX SEEN.
FURTHER INVESTIGATION - A CHEST CT SCAN IS ADVISED.

And yes, I did that scan right after I made a trip back to the family doctor.

Thankfully, the doctor and the staff at the specialist center were really friendly and nice.

The results will only be out tomorrow.

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I happened to watch the episode of the auditions for America's Got Talent Season 2 in Chicago.
I watched it before, but this girl made the episode especially memorable.
I forgotten her name actually,
thankfully re-watching the episode refreshed my memory.

Meet Butterscotch. ;)

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I thank Chloe darling for the video. (:
A simple, but I say, a rather effective ad.

The father and son bond is great.
The son is a really sweet guy too.

Let's not forget that he's really cute. ;]

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It’s not an English name I came up with for myself. My mother is indeed a genius in coming up with such a splendid name for me. Although my name has been unfortunately mutilated (nicknames are excluded) over the past years, full credits to my mum for my current identity.

I’m certainly looking forward to changing the word ‘patient’ to ‘survivor’! If you’re interested to read about my journey in battling lymphoma, you can click here to proceed to my cancer blog.

Ironic, I know; this blog is mainly pink instead. I like all colours actually, but I find myself having an affinity to the colour green. In fact, I can safely say that green is my soul colour.

Languages, music, fashion, photography, cultures, dance, literature, writing; just about anything, really. The arts truly intrigue me, especially thought-provoking pieces. Of course, the arts play a major role in inspiring me in my everyday life.

I don’t have a favourite genre – I read any book that interests me!

I am a trained right-hander from young, since apparently being left-handed is considered ‘wrong’. Basically, I’m ambidextrous! No wonder I find it easier to air guitar using my left hand than my right; I simply relate to the arts than subjects that deal with logical thinking better, too.

A stubborn Bull I am, too. I abhor being rushed. I prefer doing matters at my own reasonable pace. I don’t particularly like changes in my routine, but I can adapt quite easily. I’m a very practical person as well. I enjoy the beautiful things in life, but that doesn’t make me shun ugliness at all. Besides, it all depends on how one perceives beauty. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder!

Still am, but I’m slowly learning to accept imperfection into my life. Also, I’m doing my best to erase the many expectations I have so I could one day master the art of letting go and freeing myself to simple happiness and joy.

Compared to before, I’m less dramatic nowadays. Language-wise, I attempt to blog flawlessly in English and speak proper English online with my peers. Call me a Grammar Nazi all you want, but that’s how I roll. I only converse in perfect English in formal situations and during my dramatic outbursts. Otherwise, I’m absolutely capable of communicating like the average Malaysian!

It’s a different issue altogether when you’re forced to learn for the sake of getting good grades, though. Other than that, I’m open to new information and knowledge anytime! I especially would like to learn more languages and pick up new musical instruments.

…are just some of the things I would love to do in the near future, hopefully!

the basic rules apply. If you respect me, I’ll respect you. If you happen to be someone who has low EQ skills, I’ll try to be tolerant but my patience is definitely limited. I’m observant when it comes to human behaviour. I’m a person of many opinions, but I don’t voice them out unless I trust you enough; I’m very honest and candid when it comes to the people I can trust. Even though I trust very easily, not everybody can prove that they’re all that nice. Hurt me, and I’ll only defend myself if necessary. Hurt my family or my friends – you won’t find me holding back.

Is there anything else you would like to know about me?
Throw me your questions and/or doubts here! I honestly have nothing to hide, so you’ll expect the truth and nothing but the truth.

It’s only how I phrase my answers that you’ll have to be aware of.
Or…you can click hereto go back to reading!

Hello there =)

I'd just read your latest blog entry and yes, I'm another who had watched the short documentary on Channel 8 yesterday night. I must say I was and still am very touched by the documentary. And I'm very impressed with your determination and strong-willed personality to continue living life in such a positive light. It seems that all the problems that I go through as a fifteen year old Malaysian student are just not as major compared to what you're currently facing. I'm just very wowed by your efforts in everything you do, and how you're living life to the fullest everyday. From that one documentary, I'd learnt a lot from your optimism. Really.

Maybe you'd read similar emails like mine but I'm really sincere about every single word that I'm typing right now. I'm not very good with words either, so if you'd felt offended by my email I truly apologize.

Anyhow, I wish you all the best in your battle against cancer.

Best wishes,
Leonie.

PS : Do say hi to Toby and Josie for me if you don't mind :)

5th November 2008.

I never expected a reply, but Shin did reply to my email. I would like to share with my readers here her email to me.

Leonie,

Thanks for your kind e-mail. It's taken me a while to respond because I only just saw it. I look at my Gmail account once every week or so. This Yahoo account is more reliable if you want to contact me.

I truly appreciate your words of praise and encouragement.

You say that you're a 15-year-old Malaysian student and that you're not good with words? You should know that your short note was more articulate, well-written, and intelligently expressed than most of the comments I've been getting - many of them, adult professionals.

I don't know what you plan on doing with your future, but with your gift of expression, I think you've got a bright future ahead of you, professionally. And more important, you seem to have a maturity and insight beyond your age. I'm betting that you go on do something great with your life - not in terms of money or fame, but something that will make a difference to the people and the community around you.

Thanks, and good luck to you.

Shin
http://shinscancerblog.blogspot.com

11th November 2008.

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I now refer to them as my inspirations for going bald.
There's more to come. ;)

In Malaysia,
we have..

Sharifah Amani.

She shaved her head bald for her role in the Yasmin's Muallaf.
Despite the controversies -
whether it's about going against Islam and such,
she did it anyway.
I admire her spunk and wanting to make her role more alive and real.

And now,
we shall move on to Japan,
a fellow Asian country.

Tomomi Maruyama.

He acted as Yasu in both Nana films.
He shaved his head bald because Yasu is his favourite character in the manga.
Well, that's pretty awesome of him.
Because he could have chose to wear a skull cap for filming,
yet he chose to shave his head bald,
to embody his favourite character,
and get into the role he loves.
Besides, this guy looks awesome bald.
Both Yasu and Tomomi, I mean.

And next,
how can I ever forget,
this lovely lady from the West.
Natalie Portman.

She shaved her head bald for her role in V for Vendetta.
She looks absolutely stunning.
Look at her.
Just look at her.
Again, she could have chose to wear a skull cap.
And spend longer time in hair and makeup.
But no, she didn't.

All three of them shaved their heads for their respective roles.
And they pulled it off.
A very good job, at that.

Now,
they shaved their heads because of their jobs.

I'm going to shave my head,
because of my drastic hair loss.

And hell,
here's three cheers to my becoming being a skinhead.

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Hello readers.
You might be wondering about this certain question,
as you lay your eyes on this photo of mine.

Why the need for a shower cap?

Dear readers,
before I move on to answering that question of yours,
let me enlighten you all about something.

I have a few close friends, and some juniors,
that have been asking me this question,
that I really abhor.

"Are you going to lose your hair?"

All of them,
asked me this question,
in those very same words.

The then me was patient enough with the aforementioned question.
I answered them, even though I hated this question.

Truthfully,
I just saw no point in them asking an obvious question.
It's like,
are you concerned about my hair and the way I look like,
more than my health?

I blogged about this issue before,
in hopes of people to not ask said question again.

But no,
I still get people asking me question.

Why..?

I confided in my mum about this.
I told my mum how pissed I was in people asking this question.

In the end,
the solution my mother offered?

"Just ignore the text if it pisses you off.
Reply only when you feel like it.
It's not healthy for you to store negative emotions in you."

So I took her advice.

But finally,
the hair loss became more apparent from Wednesday onwards.

For my dear readers' information,
cancer patients who undergo chemotherapy do not just lose their hair,
the hair that crowns your head.

Patients who go for chemo,
also lose their body hair - on their arms and legs.
Not forgetting your eyebrows and eyelashes.
And also, yes,
pubic hair.

I'm just being honest with my readers about the realities of undergoing chemotherapy as a cancer patient.

Those things you see in the movies and serial dramas?
Exaggerated.
Seriously.

So yes,
I admit.

This hair loss thing finally got to me.
I won't deny it.

I get scared every time I randomly run my fingers through my hair,
and a whole clump of hair comes out.

I'm not afraid of the prospect of going bald,
I'm just scared of the process of losing my hair.

My mane has been protecting my head for the past 17 years of my life.
From the sun, the rain,
and it contributes a whole damn lot in maintaining my already low confidence level.

Which is why losing my mane like this,
really freaks me out.

I rather go bald,
then to endure this.

So yes,
to every one of you,

I am shaving my head bald.

Go figure.
;)

Be prepared for my new look y'all.

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MY LONG LOST BLOG SISTER

This post is dedicated to my one and only

Mindel Trance

Dramatic Tophatter

my long lost blog sister

Leonie

She's this amazing girl who found my Friendster in 2008. She added me, commented on my page, and then read my blog. A few weeks later, I realized that she keeps up on my blog a lot, so I decided to keep up on hers. When I read her about me, my jaw dropped. Seriously. I was like, 'OMGWTFBBQSAUCE I'VE NEVER MET ANYONE WITH THIS MUCH COMMON INTERESTS AS ME IN MY ENTIRE LIFE BEFORE IS SHE MY FUGGIN SOULMATE OR SOMETHING' 'cool.'


So, we added each other on everything. We got to know each other on MSN and exchanged numbers just in case she comes to KL so we can meet up. I want to meet up with her so badly. I owe her so many outings due to a lot of bullshit happening in my life. I regret letting those chances slip away.


Now, she's undergoing chemotherapy for lymphoma. And it got me thinking,


'Why did an extraordinary and amazing person like her has to go through something like this and sit for SPM at the same time?'


It's not fair. I worry about her every day. I know. She's someone I've never even met. But she has always been there for me, through every high and every low, and what makes me even happier is that she'll be there for me no matter what. She's a really good friend, and I will in turn, be one to her as well.


But Leonie isn't just that.


She's my

soulmate.

I swear,


it was

love at first sight.

©Deirdre Wong.

★☮♥

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I'll be your Nana if you'll be my Ren.

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From May's blog:

KONG LEONIE!

I miss you.

Get well soon. I DON’T CARE YOU MUST. :P

Stay strong.

Stay positive.

I believe in you. ;)

And last but not least,

I LOVE YOU LOADS. :)

©Eng Sze May.

From Lyn-jie's blog:

I woke up, had my power breakfast, did my stretching, strength training, went out and jogged for 2 hours fml personal record it feels soooo good.

Came back and found out some not very happy stuff.

This blog post, I dedicate to my dear Mindel Trance, whom I sayang like my own younger sister.

Life's very not fair, especially not to someone who's 16 years old and whose only concern now should be like SPM and boys (or/and girls, for that matter).

I wish you well and strength for the arduous trials you are about to face in the months ahead, and I have little doubt that you will be able to get through it.

During which I will nonstop pamper you with meows and sayangs, doesn't matter that I'm in Aussieland.

After which we shall go get bikinified together yah :)

Take care my dear, and keep me updated.

©Lynette Ho.

From Fatin's blog:

yonie, i miss you. hope u're doing fine there. i tunggu u datang sekolah yea. promise me, nanti kita nyanyi meet me halfway sama2 taw. i tahu u kuat. we're all praying for you. i've so much to tell you..tak sabar nak gossip2 haha. wish u were here. sayang you yonie :) i wish i can do something better than this for you..but the best gift for you is the fact that we're FRIENDS ♥ ♥ Muahx Muahx ! hope it warms your heart :')

©Fatin Nabiha.

From Najwa's blog:

Remember the time when I had my operation and I posted what was wrong with me on my blog and blablabla.
Like how the thing actually is and how it looked like and everything.

My friends asked me WHY?
Why did I do such a thing?
Why did I made a graph on where it is located.

My answer was WHY NOT?

I saw Leonie's profile picture in FB.

She is pretty as always.
I think I've told her that a lot of times before.. =)
(But I'm still HOTTER btw)

Anyway,
What captured my attention was her caption.

There's nothing to be ashamed of :)

All I can say when I saw her caption was EXACTLY.

There is no need to feel ashamed of anything just because you've got this "thing".
This "thing" that not everyone has.
This "thing" that not everyone can relate to.

So when I posted about my condition in my blog.
I have nothing to be ashamed of.

So...
to Leonie.

Stay STRONG!

You have a GREAT and AWESOME future ahead of you.

Take care of yourself.

And so not fair you get to skip school more than I do. XD

©Najwa Hanee Hazza.

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Sunday, 25th July 2010

The following list are of the awesome people who dropped by my place to temporarily solve my problem of being socially-deprived from the outside world for too long due to a period of self-quarantine:

KARYN
FIONA
RACHEL
MINDY
FARHAN
MAURICE

It's been too long since I laughed so hard,
my head hurts.
Thanks guys. (:

And of course, I am eternally grateful for this.


It was just a passing remark on Facebook,
and you guys actually went all out to get one for me.

Boy, I'm touched.
Really. (':

Words aren't enough to express my gratitude for these people.

I am lucky to get to know these awesome humans.
I cannot ask for more. ♥

Rachel,
I'll definitely show you those ten films. ;)

Fio,
thanks so much for the music.
I think I'm going to have to need to see you again for more though. :P

Karyn,
you're awesome company for CSI. :D

We're all from different lifestyles and backgrounds.
Like these beautiful pastries dear Mindy had brought over.
Each one with its own unique look and taste.

But still,
united in one box,
they look lovely in such a harmonious pattern.

God,
I am sincerely lucky and grateful to have these people in my life.

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May, being the class monitor,
handed a lil' something to me on behalf of all the peeps.

It came in a paper box,
full of love. ♥

It was then dear mumsie decided -
"Let's buy a nice container to put your friends' love in."

So this was bought the night before I went for my op in Malacca,
last Wednesday at Mahkota Parade.

I was told to edit the paper box soon after.
I'm sorry if this seems like mutilation to you darlings.
I tried, really!
I'm losing my artistic touch I guess. :/

Nadwa's paper birds are at the study area,
at the top where I can easily see them everyday. (:

Leonie ♥s Nawa more!

All in all,
the members of 5 SC 1/2010 are keeping me strong.
And stronger by each passing day.

I miss you lovelies so freaking much.

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Obviously, I am now at home. I'm self-quarantined for the time being. Apparently going for chemo makes my immune system weak, so I'm very susceptible to the exposure of germs, viruses, bacteria and the likes.

Which is why I had been stuck at home since I'm back from Malacca on Monday evening. Boo.

In any case, staying at home hadn't been all that bad.

Like, I have the company of my new baby to keep me stress-free! Courtesy of my parents, who went all out to get her for me before I was due for the variety of treatments I'm going to receive.

Meet..


I heard that Pn. Adilah has been reading my blog. So, hi cikgu! I miss you! (:

But please friends, don't let any other teachers know of my blog link. It's pretty weird to have teachers reading my blog. Fellow peers who are bloggers, you should know what I mean. Hahah.

Oh yes, that picture of me in the beginning of this entry? It's my most recent.

Nope, no major hair loss yet. And yes, you can see the sites of my post-ops.

Well, there ain't anything to be ashamed about. So there. ;)

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"I'm still beautiful,
with or without my crown atop my head."
-Cancer is Beautiful, ©iddieforana.-
Hey dear readers. I'm back for another short update I guess. Heh.

So, as you all should know from my Facebook updates and tweets, I went for a minor surgery. It was to find out what kind of lymphoma I have.

Yes, it's a kind of cancer. And yes, it just hit me that I have cancer, at seventeen.

Not too shabby eh?

Yeah, well. I'm not happy that I have it, but since God, whether Buddha, Jesus Christ, or Allah s.w.t. (in no particular order) had decided that this is part of my adventure as an individual named Kong Leonie, all I can do is just to face it.

Be brave, be strong, and stay positive and happy.

This condition (I refuse to call it a disease, by the way) is making me lose precious time with my friends, whether at school or at tuition classes. Never thought there would be a day that I actually would miss my busy schedules. Lol.

Also, I miss all those familiar faces at school. At Omega. At Rohaini's.

But, quoting a character from the Channel 8 drama Your Hand In Mine, every misfortune sure has its blessings as well.

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I teared up reading my friends' recent blog entries. I couldn't help it.

So, I'm featuring and honouring their words here. It's a way of saying thank you, and also a reminder that I have loved ones going all out to support me in this journey of mine.

In which I shall talk about soon in my blog.

Let's start with this.

Anna's and Jia Ying's. ♥

From Anna's blog:

Dearest Leonie Sayang

Please get well soon

And come back to school as soon as possible

I miss hugging you,

annoying you,

singing to you,

smiling without reason at you,

giving random flowers to you,

making you laugh,

playing with you hair,

tickling you,

dancing make believe ballet with you,

calling you "LEONIE-CHAAAAAAN!!" loudly

and just having you around.

I miss you a lot

T________T

Shiawase na koto wo negaimasu

;_______;

©Anna Sabrina Ahmad Sopian.

From Jia Ying's blog:

this post is specially for KONG LEONIE! -
-
well.
thinking back all those memories we had together.
from singapore to ur constantly nagging us to be fast in class.
to our gossiping times n the times u rush to canteen jus to buy the pattaya
and the times we were not talking to each otha. it's silly now.
loads of memories of u.
-
-
hey gurl.
i would lyk to say
U SMELL NICE la . ;p happy? hee.
saje kacau pon xbleh. hmph! XD
-
-
well.
im waiting for u to come back to skul with ur wifey.
with alex the lion.
im waiting to see u coming in the skul compound in ur bj pengawas.
with ur soon to be torn skul bag ;p
im waiting for u to come sticking to me meowing non stop.
used to find it annoying. but i got used to it.
waiting for u to pat my bangs.
calling me a snell.
coming to the back of the class to talk to us.
im waiting for azri to bully u.
-
-
well.
u better come back u know.
but FIRST!!!!
ur HEALTH comes FIRST!!
bold big2 let u see! hee
-
-
i wan u to be healthy.
i wan u to think positively.
i wan u to pray.
i wan u to rest well.
i wan u to recover soon.
i wan u to be NOT so degil.
i wan u to be strong.
i wan u to be brave.
etc.
this is an order!
i DUN CARE!
-
-
everyone misses u.
it's been one week now.
it pains me to see u like this.
i dun wan!
i wan back the cheerful leonie.
rmb the changes i mention in ur bdae letter.
i wan u to be happy no matter wat!
-
-
remember that we will always be behind u
supporting u
giving u hugs n love
poking and cheering u
dun 4get our pianist anna playing nice songs for u.
dancing along wif her.singing songs wif her.
-
-
i dun care.
u muz get well soon.
remember my afta SPM to do list?
ur included.
its ok to not sit for SPM. SPM wont run off. =)
-
-
promise me.
to be strong and accept everything as fate.
but most important.
u must believe in fate. pray. keep urself calm.
and REST!
-
-
will stop here for now.
ILY! and IMY! meowy.
*hugs*
-
-
加油！
©Koh Jia Ying.

And now, not forgetting Sham Sham:

The Banner

We should like go to the front, open this one up so that everyone can't potong us during the marathon.

Ha! Nice strategy.

Have you guys all signed on this?

I don't think I have.

Yes, aku dah. Mana autograf aku? Wait, is this the one?

Oh no, itu Zulaikha punyalah.

Oh, whose is this? With the cat and all?

Anna of course! Look, got piano lagi!

Oh here, it's Leonie's. She's with us after all. We're going to carry you, Leonie!

*Leonie, I really hope you read this one. The whole class is missing you. Jadual Anjal mean less homework, so don't you worry about the work load :)

©Shamilla Selamat.

Anna, Jia Ying, and Shamilla.
Thank you so much.
I don't know what kind of words can I use to express my gratitude.

To all of my friends and loved ones,
I thank you for the endless support and concern as well.

To my parents,
for being there for me every step that I take in this phase of life,
for making my life easier,
for all the encouragement and love.

(':

★☮♥
I'm going to document these experiences,
and who knows?
I might just get it published.
Hahah.

★☮♥
By the way,
I'm using my new laptop to blog.
I shall introduce her to you readers very soon.
Heh.

★☮♥
May the results be alright.

★☮♥
Going to school later.
Can't wait to see the darlings. (:

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"I don't know what's right and what's real anymore;
and I don't know how I'm meant to feel anymore.
And when do you think it will all become clear?
'Cause I'm being taking over by The Fear."
-The Fear, ©Lily Allen.-
Never in my life had I went through that many medical procedures in just one day.

So, finally my body decided it's payback time, after being such a sick, frail human who falls ill just too easily to be true. And too often as well.

It's not like I don't take care of my health, it's just that my immune system is somehow really weak. Don't ask me why, I have no clue to that either.

Today, this blogger made a trip to get an X-ray done for her lungs.

At first, only one was done.

Then, I was asked to do a second one. This time, to get a clearer view of my right lung.

Fine, I did just that.

Finally, the report was out. And basically, life started going downhill for me when I read the words on that little piece of paper.

CHEST WITH RIGHT LATERAL VIEW: A LARGE ANTERIOR MEDIASTINAL MASS.
NO ABNORMALITY IN THE HEART, LUNGS AND BONY THORAX SEEN.
FURTHER INVESTIGATION - A CHEST CT SCAN IS ADVISED.

And yes, I did that scan right after I made a trip back to the family doctor.

Thankfully, the doctor and the staff at the specialist center were really friendly and nice.

The results will only be out tomorrow.

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I happened to watch the episode of the auditions for America's Got Talent Season 2 in Chicago.
I watched it before, but this girl made the episode especially memorable.
I forgotten her name actually,
thankfully re-watching the episode refreshed my memory.

Meet Butterscotch. ;)

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I thank Chloe darling for the video. (:
A simple, but I say, a rather effective ad.

The father and son bond is great.
The son is a really sweet guy too.

Let's not forget that he's really cute. ;]

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