I was first introduced to this song and singer, thanks to Christina who sent the link over to me. And yes, I still agree this song is very awesome indeed.
Back then when she first sent the link to me, and when I listened to this song, I fell in love with it immediately.
But it is only recently, maybe a week back - I realized how much the song and its lyrics apply to this one particular situation in my life.
Reading the directors' concept of the video, it made everything more meaningful, and somehow, I believed that this song came into my knowledge at the right timing, in this certain point in my life, when I have to deal with another form of departures.
For those that didn’t get it totally, here’s the full concept behind the video. David and Lana are both sitting in this white room. We also show them going on with the rest of their lives (hanging out w/ friends, shopping, meeting new people) but they are still always in this room together. The idea is that, no matter where we go and how we move on in life, we’re still always somehow connected to that special someone we were with, in a frozen place and time. In this video, that place is the white room; and here in this place, David explains (sings) to Lana that if he were to see her again, he wouldn’t try to talk to her.
Towards the end of the video, we see them switch positions as well (David was on the right, at the end he’s on the left). We also show each of them revisiting each other’s locations. (Lana went to the bball court, David went to the salon, etc). This could imply that maybe they did try to find each other again, but missed. Now in this suspended white room, he gives up, and she watches him go.
It hit me that this particular situation in life I'm going through, tallies exactly the same way with the directors' concept and the song lyrics itself.
It felt like this song was made for me to be strong throughout this phase in life I have to slowly, but surely have to get over with it.
Based on the directors' concept, I had put myself in David's shoes, and said individual in Lana's place. The both of us, I still believe, quoting the directors' concept, no matter where we go and how we move on in life, we’re still always somehow connected to that special someone we were with, in a frozen place and time. Even though that special relationship of ours is officially declared as over by you, though like it seemed that I wanted it, but because of our past memories and the times we spent together, whether it revolves around joy or sadness, we are always still connected, as all those memoirs are in that white room, just like how the connection between the both of us stays in that room as well.
Yes, it does hurt seeing you happy when I was still picking myself up without you, but it would be selfish of me to say that out loud as it would seem that I'm such a possessive human.
As much as I tried to forget and let go of the special bond we once had, I still moped and felt very alone, framed, hurt, despised, when I think that you probably never cared at all. Maybe you did, but it's as if you didn't feel the hurt I felt for this whole matter.
It feels like I'm too dependant on you, which is what I didn't want to be.
If you are so happy without me, and may had forgotten all about me, why should I be upset over you and make my life miserable and shorten my lifespan on planet Earth?
If there's something you should know, or might had already known, my pride gets the better of me.
All this while, I'm secretly dying to talk to you, to share my thoughts with you, to spend our sleeping nights chatting on the phone over everything under the night sky, like the last time.
But my pride firmly said no, and I wouldn't even want to try and talk to you first, and I always felt that I had been doing for the past year or so. It would feel like I'm desperate to start a conversation, maybe I am, but I won't lose out and bow down to you. I won't make myself look that desperate and pathetic in public.
Never.
And now, after even thinking of ending my life because of you, I feel very stupid. Why should I live so miserably, when you never even bothered to be there for me when I needed comfort the most? When I was at my weakest, you just stared on, not doing anything to help.
Maybe you were at a loss of what to do, but hey, thank gawd for them, I managed to knock some sense into that clouded head of mine, all thoughts of you, and clear it up with some common sense.
So there, I'm giving up, for you might never even know that this post is intended for you.
Only my Twinnie Ash will know what I'm talking about, as she is the only one who has access to my inner soul and thoughts about this dark matter.
If you ever figure out that this is you, I dare you to make that first step and talk to me. Yes, you who had said that we are still friends no matter what, but whenever we meet, we just walk past each other without a hello or a bye, excluding that particular moment yesterday. We acted like the other wasn't even there. Is this what you call great friends forever?
I don't think so, thanks for the white lie, I don't need it.
I rather if you remove it from public view, for I think it's just an empty promise by you to make everything look fine, but that's only on the surface of matters.
It's all a lie.
If you can't keep a promise, don't make a promise in the first place. It hurts even more, even if it doesn't hurt you, it does to me.
Till now, I feel sore every time I see you. I would be observing on what you're doing, and hoping that things are going fine for you.
Problem is, that's me being such a fool I guess, thinking that you might be feeling the same way.
I highly doubt it.
So there, this song is dedicated to you, said individual.
The said individual who broke my heart into many shattering pieces, and I'm still trying to pick them pieces up.
Thank you for making me feel so dumb, and stupid, and foolish, all at the same time.
Thank you for letting me consider suicide, and upset the others who really cared for me, and were actually concerned for unimportant me.
Thank you..for being a fragment of my memories.
Thank you..for those little gifts that made my day occasionally.
Thank you, for being a part of me.
Thank you..but that's all in the past now.
Thank you..and now it's goodbye.
This is for you.
What happened after last summer when we broke up in September
I haven't seen you Feels like a long time Sometimesit still hurts But I always get by..
"I still got a piece of you under my skin. It's always there no matter where I've been.."
"So if I ever see you on the street I'll pretend that I didn't see And turn my face No use in small talk anyways
Because if I look into your eyes Then I'll have to say goodbye And that will break my heart So I won't even start.. No I won't even start..
I wish you luck And I wish it true That's the best I can do for you
'Cos you'll probably find love In someone new I have to let go..! Yeah it's hard to do..
So if I run into you with your arm by his side Just know it'll cut me like a knife
"So if I ever see you on the street I'll pretend that I didn't see And turn my face No use in small talk anyways
Because if I look into your eyes Then I'll have to say goodbye And that will break my heart So I won't even start.. No I won't even start..
"I'll be okay.."
"I'll be okay..!" Oh that's what I'll say..
"So if I ever see you on the street I'll pretend that I didn't see And turn my face No use in small talk anyways
Because if I look into your eyes Then I'll have to say goodbye And that will break my heart So I won't even start.. Oh I won't even start.. No I won't even start.
Time for another session of truths in my other space.
To you, if you ever want to find out the deepest darkest truths about you, ask my twin, if you even bother or regard me as a friend.
And Twinnie, I'll let you decide whatever you want to tell said individual, I'll know whatever you do, is right and the best for me. Because you understand.
Hello there! You must have guessed by now – this is Leonie here, and I have no intention of boring you out with a long introduction of yours truly.
I have to admit though – I’m quite an interesting individual; those who know me can confirm that, and those who don’t…I don’t mean to brag, but you’re definitely missing out!
Feel free to click here to get to know me a little bit better! No worries, I’m very friendly and I won’t bite!
Meanwhile, enjoy reading the Fool in Frames!
Baring It All.
My name really is Leonie.
It’s not an English name I came up with for myself. My mother is indeed a genius in coming up with such a splendid name for me. Although my name has been unfortunately mutilated (nicknames are excluded) over the past years, full credits to my mum for my current identity.
I’m a cancer patient.
I’m certainly looking forward to changing the word ‘patient’ to ‘survivor’! If you’re interested to read about my journey in battling lymphoma, you can click here to proceed to my cancer blog.
Green is my favourite colour.
Ironic, I know; this blog is mainly pink instead. I like all colours actually, but I find myself having an affinity to the colour green. In fact, I can safely say that green is my soul colour.
I’m an art-appreciator.
Languages, music, fashion, photography, cultures, dance, literature, writing; just about anything, really. The arts truly intrigue me, especially thought-provoking pieces. Of course, the arts play a major role in inspiring me in my everyday life.
You’ll find me carrying a book to just about everywhere.
I don’t have a favourite genre – I read any book that interests me!
I found out that I’m actually a left-hander.
I am a trained right-hander from young, since apparently being left-handed is considered ‘wrong’. Basically, I’m ambidextrous! No wonder I find it easier to air guitar using my left hand than my right; I simply relate to the arts than subjects that deal with logical thinking better, too.
Taurus is my astrological sign.
A stubborn Bull I am, too. I abhor being rushed. I prefer doing matters at my own reasonable pace. I don’t particularly like changes in my routine, but I can adapt quite easily. I’m a very practical person as well. I enjoy the beautiful things in life, but that doesn’t make me shun ugliness at all. Besides, it all depends on how one perceives beauty. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder!
I’m a born perfectionist.
Still am, but I’m slowly learning to accept imperfection into my life. Also, I’m doing my best to erase the many expectations I have so I could one day master the art of letting go and freeing myself to simple happiness and joy.
A natural drama queen.
Compared to before, I’m less dramatic nowadays. Language-wise, I attempt to blog flawlessly in English and speak proper English online with my peers. Call me a Grammar Nazi all you want, but that’s how I roll. I only converse in perfect English in formal situations and during my dramatic outbursts. Otherwise, I’m absolutely capable of communicating like the average Malaysian!
It’s a pleasure to learn and discover new things.
It’s a different issue altogether when you’re forced to learn for the sake of getting good grades, though. Other than that, I’m open to new information and knowledge anytime! I especially would like to learn more languages and pick up new musical instruments.
Travelling around the world, participating in artistic photoshoots, performing in a band, writing a book…
…are just some of the things I would love to do in the near future, hopefully!
When it comes to social relationships,
the basic rules apply. If you respect me, I’ll respect you. If you happen to be someone who has low EQ skills, I’ll try to be tolerant but my patience is definitely limited. I’m observant when it comes to human behaviour. I’m a person of many opinions, but I don’t voice them out unless I trust you enough; I’m very honest and candid when it comes to the people I can trust. Even though I trust very easily, not everybody can prove that they’re all that nice. Hurt me, and I’ll only defend myself if necessary. Hurt my family or my friends – you won’t find me holding back.
Is there anything else you would like to know about me?
Throw me your questions and/or doubts here! I honestly have nothing to hide, so you’ll expect the truth and nothing but the truth.
It’s only how I phrase my answers that you’ll have to be aware of.
I was first introduced to this song and singer, thanks to Christina who sent the link over to me. And yes, I still agree this song is very awesome indeed.
Back then when she first sent the link to me, and when I listened to this song, I fell in love with it immediately.
But it is only recently, maybe a week back - I realized how much the song and its lyrics apply to this one particular situation in my life.
Reading the directors' concept of the video, it made everything more meaningful, and somehow, I believed that this song came into my knowledge at the right timing, in this certain point in my life, when I have to deal with another form of departures.
For those that didn’t get it totally, here’s the full concept behind the video. David and Lana are both sitting in this white room. We also show them going on with the rest of their lives (hanging out w/ friends, shopping, meeting new people) but they are still always in this room together. The idea is that, no matter where we go and how we move on in life, we’re still always somehow connected to that special someone we were with, in a frozen place and time. In this video, that place is the white room; and here in this place, David explains (sings) to Lana that if he were to see her again, he wouldn’t try to talk to her.
Towards the end of the video, we see them switch positions as well (David was on the right, at the end he’s on the left). We also show each of them revisiting each other’s locations. (Lana went to the bball court, David went to the salon, etc). This could imply that maybe they did try to find each other again, but missed. Now in this suspended white room, he gives up, and she watches him go.
It hit me that this particular situation in life I'm going through, tallies exactly the same way with the directors' concept and the song lyrics itself.
It felt like this song was made for me to be strong throughout this phase in life I have to slowly, but surely have to get over with it.
Based on the directors' concept, I had put myself in David's shoes, and said individual in Lana's place. The both of us, I still believe, quoting the directors' concept, no matter where we go and how we move on in life, we’re still always somehow connected to that special someone we were with, in a frozen place and time. Even though that special relationship of ours is officially declared as over by you, though like it seemed that I wanted it, but because of our past memories and the times we spent together, whether it revolves around joy or sadness, we are always still connected, as all those memoirs are in that white room, just like how the connection between the both of us stays in that room as well.
Yes, it does hurt seeing you happy when I was still picking myself up without you, but it would be selfish of me to say that out loud as it would seem that I'm such a possessive human.
As much as I tried to forget and let go of the special bond we once had, I still moped and felt very alone, framed, hurt, despised, when I think that you probably never cared at all. Maybe you did, but it's as if you didn't feel the hurt I felt for this whole matter.
It feels like I'm too dependant on you, which is what I didn't want to be.
If you are so happy without me, and may had forgotten all about me, why should I be upset over you and make my life miserable and shorten my lifespan on planet Earth?
If there's something you should know, or might had already known, my pride gets the better of me.
All this while, I'm secretly dying to talk to you, to share my thoughts with you, to spend our sleeping nights chatting on the phone over everything under the night sky, like the last time.
But my pride firmly said no, and I wouldn't even want to try and talk to you first, and I always felt that I had been doing for the past year or so. It would feel like I'm desperate to start a conversation, maybe I am, but I won't lose out and bow down to you. I won't make myself look that desperate and pathetic in public.
Never.
And now, after even thinking of ending my life because of you, I feel very stupid. Why should I live so miserably, when you never even bothered to be there for me when I needed comfort the most? When I was at my weakest, you just stared on, not doing anything to help.
Maybe you were at a loss of what to do, but hey, thank gawd for them, I managed to knock some sense into that clouded head of mine, all thoughts of you, and clear it up with some common sense.
So there, I'm giving up, for you might never even know that this post is intended for you.
Only my Twinnie Ash will know what I'm talking about, as she is the only one who has access to my inner soul and thoughts about this dark matter.
If you ever figure out that this is you, I dare you to make that first step and talk to me. Yes, you who had said that we are still friends no matter what, but whenever we meet, we just walk past each other without a hello or a bye, excluding that particular moment yesterday. We acted like the other wasn't even there. Is this what you call great friends forever?
I don't think so, thanks for the white lie, I don't need it.
I rather if you remove it from public view, for I think it's just an empty promise by you to make everything look fine, but that's only on the surface of matters.
It's all a lie.
If you can't keep a promise, don't make a promise in the first place. It hurts even more, even if it doesn't hurt you, it does to me.
Till now, I feel sore every time I see you. I would be observing on what you're doing, and hoping that things are going fine for you.
Problem is, that's me being such a fool I guess, thinking that you might be feeling the same way.
I highly doubt it.
So there, this song is dedicated to you, said individual.
The said individual who broke my heart into many shattering pieces, and I'm still trying to pick them pieces up.
Thank you for making me feel so dumb, and stupid, and foolish, all at the same time.
Thank you for letting me consider suicide, and upset the others who really cared for me, and were actually concerned for unimportant me.
Thank you..for being a fragment of my memories.
Thank you..for those little gifts that made my day occasionally.
Thank you, for being a part of me.
Thank you..but that's all in the past now.
Thank you..and now it's goodbye.
This is for you.
What happened after last summer when we broke up in September
I haven't seen you Feels like a long time Sometimesit still hurts But I always get by..
"I still got a piece of you under my skin. It's always there no matter where I've been.."
"So if I ever see you on the street I'll pretend that I didn't see And turn my face No use in small talk anyways
Because if I look into your eyes Then I'll have to say goodbye And that will break my heart So I won't even start.. No I won't even start..
I wish you luck And I wish it true That's the best I can do for you
'Cos you'll probably find love In someone new I have to let go..! Yeah it's hard to do..
So if I run into you with your arm by his side Just know it'll cut me like a knife
"So if I ever see you on the street I'll pretend that I didn't see And turn my face No use in small talk anyways
Because if I look into your eyes Then I'll have to say goodbye And that will break my heart So I won't even start.. No I won't even start..
"I'll be okay.."
"I'll be okay..!" Oh that's what I'll say..
"So if I ever see you on the street I'll pretend that I didn't see And turn my face No use in small talk anyways
Because if I look into your eyes Then I'll have to say goodbye And that will break my heart So I won't even start.. Oh I won't even start.. No I won't even start.
Time for another session of truths in my other space.
To you, if you ever want to find out the deepest darkest truths about you, ask my twin, if you even bother or regard me as a friend.
And Twinnie, I'll let you decide whatever you want to tell said individual, I'll know whatever you do, is right and the best for me. Because you understand.
