"Leonie, are you okay?"
"Okay not?"
"Leonie, cheer up okay.."
4 Science 1,
Friday, 13th of February 2009.

"Leonie..please don't cry anymore..
'cos you're making me wanna cry too."
Najwa Hanee Hazza.
*****Happily went for Moral class while Tadarus was on as usual.

Had fun playing Chinese Whisper and charades. Laughed so hard and went crazy over those two games. Even made fun of Ah Yuan's half-sunburnt face.

Went back to class expecting another pinch and/or demerit from Pn. Syakirah for not completing my English homework for the second time and got pissed at 1KT2 who were sharing our class for making such a dumpster out of it and weren't bothered to clean up after themselves. So May asked me to write a note on the board to remind these kids of their responsiblities.

At the same time, being a bored human, I wrote the day and date as well.

I was aware it was Friday the 13th, since Miss Vendetta and Shan Wee on 98.7 were repeating that particular fact on the radio.

Also, I was practically mocking Friday the 13th, thinking that I had such a good start in school, excluding the part which I overslept and had a lecture from my mumsie and asking my kor to pray that Pn Syakirah would be absent from school today due to some unknown reason(s).

The last part didn't work out, 'cos Min Wen told me not long after that Pn Syakirah was right outside the door, talking to Renuga about something.

Fine. Just accept my fate, I thought. Nothing concerning this day, since it was me who chose not to finish it up.

As a reminder to the class to be careful with their actions and speech(es) for the day, I wrote in a bracket underneath the date exactly like this,

(Friday the 13th!!)
Just about to get back to my seat when the Muslims came back from the hall.

I saw Anith, happily said hi, and just got this as a response,

"Najwa dah nak pindah ke 4 Science 3."
I couldn't believe my own ears then.

The rest started coming in, and I heard similar comments from Liyana, Azri, Anna, Abiin, Jaafar (Aishah), Amoi, Kamal (Lya), Alya and Tasha.

All approaching me first as I was standing right in front of the board, near the entrance of the class.

I was so shocked.

It was seriously very sudden.

I mean, I just argued with Najwa yesterday night about something I made a huge fuss about.

She didn't bring this up at all.

And I just yelled to the class, "Korang ni semua mainkan aku ke apa??"

And the same response from all the Muslims of my class,

"Betul..Buat apa nak tipu you pasal Najwa.."
Speaking the truth and nothing but the truth, I wanted to cry, right then and there.

But stupid me was trying to keep up a brave front, till I get Najwa to say this from her own mouth.

Waiting for her to come up, The Triple A and Amoi all hugged me. Thanks y'all. Really appreciated the hugs. I badly needed them.

Starting going up to random classmates and telling them not to leave SIGS - ever.

Najwa came up at last and was bombarded with questions.

I decided not to say anything much, but I did yell at Najwa for not telling me beforehand.

Turns out that Pn. Hjh Afrinah made some announcement in the hall, saying that those who are currently taking electives in their respective classes, but do not want to take them for SPM next year, have to drop classes this year.

And as y'all know, Najwa hates accounts to the core. Thinking of her SPM result slip, she decided not to risk anything and signed up for 4SC3.

Devastated much?

Pn. Syakirah came into the class just as I was done yelling at Najwa.

I didn't speak to Najwa at all throughout English.

What's more, we just had to learn the poem 'The Road Not Taken' for Literature.

What a coincidence.

Pn. Syakirah starting relating the poem, which apparently was about choices, to Najwa's current situation. And it went on and on till the end of the lesson.

Just as she stepped out from the class,the majority of 4SC1 surrounded Najwa and each tried to persuade Najwa to change her mind.

Her main reason on this last minute decision? Similar to most of us, we were tired from tuition, homework, school activities, preparations for Sports' Day next Saturday.

I got real angry at that, and yelled again.

I got told off by some classmates to stop yelling and stressing Najwa out.

That I shouldn't be pushing her at this point.

It was then, I finally broke down.

I couldn't help it. I kept it in me for an entire hour of English. And I was getting too upset about the fact that so many close ones to me were leaving me, one at a time, all during this particular year.

Izreen, my only Malay friend who could and will speak Chinese to me, had gone to Sekolah Menengah Sains Muar.

Xavi, my kor who likes to make my life hell by poking me a lot, is now working as some assistant event coordinator which involves quite a lot of travelling, currently is in KL and had been gone for a few days. I didn't even get to say bye to him. I actually miss him in a way somehow. I didn't actually realize that I talk to him a lot about my school life and such till now. It's going to be even harder when he goes off somewhere to study and leave me as the only kid at home.

Lynnie, who's off to Adelaide. She was somebody I could really rant at about school 'cos she was there before. My personal psychologist-to-be who understood me really well, always knocking sense into me when I'm whining a lot. Also the one who started calling me Neko since I was in Form 1, as my obsessions for cats started then. Taught me how to write BM essays, which saved me totally in lower secondary life, as my grammar sucked to the max.

Chik and Hidayu who dropped class earlier in the year. I just got to know them better last year when we were in those temporary classes before PMR. And yes, Zorritoes is a kind of Italian food - in my personal dictionary alright.

And the most recent case being Najwa, which the entire class dropped the bomb to me in the morning, who would want to move to 4SC3.

In truth, I felt super depressed.

Everybody close to me, who plays a part in my life, are leaving me, one by one.

I know everyone has to go after their own goals and dreams one day, but I'm just not prepared with so many empty spaces in my life now.

I sound selfish, I know.

So to Najwa, I'm very sorry for being like this today. I was too upset, really.

Whatever your decision is after this, I'll respect it.

Hence, I apologize for my crankiness and weirdness this morning, 4SC1 peeps.

Anyone of you guys reading this.

Thanks for being there for me, knowing how close was I to Najwa, and that I couldn't really accept the news that well.

Specific thanks to Min Wen, who hugged me the entire time I started crying till I stopped. But I cried again not long after. Sorry about that.

To Anna, my scandal partner, for making sure I was okay by asking me every time she sees me and just being there for me as..my scandal partner (:

Jia Ying, who shared snacks with me and kept telling me things will be fine.

Amoi, who hugged me as long as I wanted to 'cos I felt so depressed. And sang songs with me, being Jaafar's frog. Hahah.

Soske, pronounced as 'Sos-Kay' according to me, (Saucegay, as how Americans pronounce Sasuke from Naruto) aka Farah Shuhadah, who went bonkers with me to cheer me up.

And everyone else who tried to make things better for me.

Will always heart you all.



"We're all in this together."
4 Science 1 as on the 13th of February©2009.

5 comment(s):

Post a Comment

                                                   

It’s not an English name I came up with for myself. My mother is indeed a genius in coming up with such a splendid name for me. Although my name has been unfortunately mutilated (nicknames are excluded) over the past years, full credits to my mum for my current identity.

I’m certainly looking forward to changing the word ‘patient’ to ‘survivor’! If you’re interested to read about my journey in battling lymphoma, you can click here to proceed to my cancer blog.

Ironic, I know; this blog is mainly pink instead. I like all colours actually, but I find myself having an affinity to the colour green. In fact, I can safely say that green is my soul colour.

Languages, music, fashion, photography, cultures, dance, literature, writing; just about anything, really. The arts truly intrigue me, especially thought-provoking pieces. Of course, the arts play a major role in inspiring me in my everyday life.

I don’t have a favourite genre – I read any book that interests me!

I am a trained right-hander from young, since apparently being left-handed is considered ‘wrong’. Basically, I’m ambidextrous! No wonder I find it easier to air guitar using my left hand than my right; I simply relate to the arts than subjects that deal with logical thinking better, too.

A stubborn Bull I am, too. I abhor being rushed. I prefer doing matters at my own reasonable pace. I don’t particularly like changes in my routine, but I can adapt quite easily. I’m a very practical person as well. I enjoy the beautiful things in life, but that doesn’t make me shun ugliness at all. Besides, it all depends on how one perceives beauty. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder!

Still am, but I’m slowly learning to accept imperfection into my life. Also, I’m doing my best to erase the many expectations I have so I could one day master the art of letting go and freeing myself to simple happiness and joy.

Compared to before, I’m less dramatic nowadays. Language-wise, I attempt to blog flawlessly in English and speak proper English online with my peers. Call me a Grammar Nazi all you want, but that’s how I roll. I only converse in perfect English in formal situations and during my dramatic outbursts. Otherwise, I’m absolutely capable of communicating like the average Malaysian!

It’s a different issue altogether when you’re forced to learn for the sake of getting good grades, though. Other than that, I’m open to new information and knowledge anytime! I especially would like to learn more languages and pick up new musical instruments.

…are just some of the things I would love to do in the near future, hopefully!

the basic rules apply. If you respect me, I’ll respect you. If you happen to be someone who has low EQ skills, I’ll try to be tolerant but my patience is definitely limited. I’m observant when it comes to human behaviour. I’m a person of many opinions, but I don’t voice them out unless I trust you enough; I’m very honest and candid when it comes to the people I can trust. Even though I trust very easily, not everybody can prove that they’re all that nice. Hurt me, and I’ll only defend myself if necessary. Hurt my family or my friends – you won’t find me holding back.

Is there anything else you would like to know about me?
Throw me your questions and/or doubts here! I honestly have nothing to hide, so you’ll expect the truth and nothing but the truth.

It’s only how I phrase my answers that you’ll have to be aware of.
Or…you can click hereto go back to reading!

"Leonie, are you okay?"
"Okay not?"
"Leonie, cheer up okay.."
4 Science 1,
Friday, 13th of February 2009.

"Leonie..please don't cry anymore..
'cos you're making me wanna cry too."
Najwa Hanee Hazza.
*****Happily went for Moral class while Tadarus was on as usual.

Had fun playing Chinese Whisper and charades. Laughed so hard and went crazy over those two games. Even made fun of Ah Yuan's half-sunburnt face.

Went back to class expecting another pinch and/or demerit from Pn. Syakirah for not completing my English homework for the second time and got pissed at 1KT2 who were sharing our class for making such a dumpster out of it and weren't bothered to clean up after themselves. So May asked me to write a note on the board to remind these kids of their responsiblities.

At the same time, being a bored human, I wrote the day and date as well.

I was aware it was Friday the 13th, since Miss Vendetta and Shan Wee on 98.7 were repeating that particular fact on the radio.

Also, I was practically mocking Friday the 13th, thinking that I had such a good start in school, excluding the part which I overslept and had a lecture from my mumsie and asking my kor to pray that Pn Syakirah would be absent from school today due to some unknown reason(s).

The last part didn't work out, 'cos Min Wen told me not long after that Pn Syakirah was right outside the door, talking to Renuga about something.

Fine. Just accept my fate, I thought. Nothing concerning this day, since it was me who chose not to finish it up.

As a reminder to the class to be careful with their actions and speech(es) for the day, I wrote in a bracket underneath the date exactly like this,

(Friday the 13th!!)
Just about to get back to my seat when the Muslims came back from the hall.

I saw Anith, happily said hi, and just got this as a response,

"Najwa dah nak pindah ke 4 Science 3."
I couldn't believe my own ears then.

The rest started coming in, and I heard similar comments from Liyana, Azri, Anna, Abiin, Jaafar (Aishah), Amoi, Kamal (Lya), Alya and Tasha.

All approaching me first as I was standing right in front of the board, near the entrance of the class.

I was so shocked.

It was seriously very sudden.

I mean, I just argued with Najwa yesterday night about something I made a huge fuss about.

She didn't bring this up at all.

And I just yelled to the class, "Korang ni semua mainkan aku ke apa??"

And the same response from all the Muslims of my class,

"Betul..Buat apa nak tipu you pasal Najwa.."
Speaking the truth and nothing but the truth, I wanted to cry, right then and there.

But stupid me was trying to keep up a brave front, till I get Najwa to say this from her own mouth.

Waiting for her to come up, The Triple A and Amoi all hugged me. Thanks y'all. Really appreciated the hugs. I badly needed them.

Starting going up to random classmates and telling them not to leave SIGS - ever.

Najwa came up at last and was bombarded with questions.

I decided not to say anything much, but I did yell at Najwa for not telling me beforehand.

Turns out that Pn. Hjh Afrinah made some announcement in the hall, saying that those who are currently taking electives in their respective classes, but do not want to take them for SPM next year, have to drop classes this year.

And as y'all know, Najwa hates accounts to the core. Thinking of her SPM result slip, she decided not to risk anything and signed up for 4SC3.

Devastated much?

Pn. Syakirah came into the class just as I was done yelling at Najwa.

I didn't speak to Najwa at all throughout English.

What's more, we just had to learn the poem 'The Road Not Taken' for Literature.

What a coincidence.

Pn. Syakirah starting relating the poem, which apparently was about choices, to Najwa's current situation. And it went on and on till the end of the lesson.

Just as she stepped out from the class,the majority of 4SC1 surrounded Najwa and each tried to persuade Najwa to change her mind.

Her main reason on this last minute decision? Similar to most of us, we were tired from tuition, homework, school activities, preparations for Sports' Day next Saturday.

I got real angry at that, and yelled again.

I got told off by some classmates to stop yelling and stressing Najwa out.

That I shouldn't be pushing her at this point.

It was then, I finally broke down.

I couldn't help it. I kept it in me for an entire hour of English. And I was getting too upset about the fact that so many close ones to me were leaving me, one at a time, all during this particular year.

Izreen, my only Malay friend who could and will speak Chinese to me, had gone to Sekolah Menengah Sains Muar.

Xavi, my kor who likes to make my life hell by poking me a lot, is now working as some assistant event coordinator which involves quite a lot of travelling, currently is in KL and had been gone for a few days. I didn't even get to say bye to him. I actually miss him in a way somehow. I didn't actually realize that I talk to him a lot about my school life and such till now. It's going to be even harder when he goes off somewhere to study and leave me as the only kid at home.

Lynnie, who's off to Adelaide. She was somebody I could really rant at about school 'cos she was there before. My personal psychologist-to-be who understood me really well, always knocking sense into me when I'm whining a lot. Also the one who started calling me Neko since I was in Form 1, as my obsessions for cats started then. Taught me how to write BM essays, which saved me totally in lower secondary life, as my grammar sucked to the max.

Chik and Hidayu who dropped class earlier in the year. I just got to know them better last year when we were in those temporary classes before PMR. And yes, Zorritoes is a kind of Italian food - in my personal dictionary alright.

And the most recent case being Najwa, which the entire class dropped the bomb to me in the morning, who would want to move to 4SC3.

In truth, I felt super depressed.

Everybody close to me, who plays a part in my life, are leaving me, one by one.

I know everyone has to go after their own goals and dreams one day, but I'm just not prepared with so many empty spaces in my life now.

I sound selfish, I know.

So to Najwa, I'm very sorry for being like this today. I was too upset, really.

Whatever your decision is after this, I'll respect it.

Hence, I apologize for my crankiness and weirdness this morning, 4SC1 peeps.

Anyone of you guys reading this.

Thanks for being there for me, knowing how close was I to Najwa, and that I couldn't really accept the news that well.

Specific thanks to Min Wen, who hugged me the entire time I started crying till I stopped. But I cried again not long after. Sorry about that.

To Anna, my scandal partner, for making sure I was okay by asking me every time she sees me and just being there for me as..my scandal partner (:

Jia Ying, who shared snacks with me and kept telling me things will be fine.

Amoi, who hugged me as long as I wanted to 'cos I felt so depressed. And sang songs with me, being Jaafar's frog. Hahah.

Soske, pronounced as 'Sos-Kay' according to me, (Saucegay, as how Americans pronounce Sasuke from Naruto) aka Farah Shuhadah, who went bonkers with me to cheer me up.

And everyone else who tried to make things better for me.

Will always heart you all.



"We're all in this together."
4 Science 1 as on the 13th of February©2009.

5 comment(s):

Post a Comment