I'm not exactly looking forward to CNY, despite the fact I always go all excited over it in school. Farha and Najwa will make very good witnesses.

I'm only doing all of that cos the hols are coming. No school and homework.

No waking up at 5 in the morning.

No need to endure the school stress people give to me.

No need to act so much more differently than the real me.

Why do I need to do that anyway? Why did I put myself upon this unnecessary torture?

And you know what.

I DON'T KNOW EITHER.

I think I AM suffering from schizophrenia.

Or split personality disorder of any kind.

I hate myself for acting like crapshit in school. In front of the peers I mean.

I need to put myself in isolation.

Quarantine me in a small empty room.

Let me ponder what's going on with me.

Let me think what I really want from this life.

And let me scream till my ears bleed.

0 comment(s):

Post a Comment

                                                   

It’s not an English name I came up with for myself. My mother is indeed a genius in coming up with such a splendid name for me. Although my name has been unfortunately mutilated (nicknames are excluded) over the past years, full credits to my mum for my current identity.

I’m certainly looking forward to changing the word ‘patient’ to ‘survivor’! If you’re interested to read about my journey in battling lymphoma, you can click here to proceed to my cancer blog.

Ironic, I know; this blog is mainly pink instead. I like all colours actually, but I find myself having an affinity to the colour green. In fact, I can safely say that green is my soul colour.

Languages, music, fashion, photography, cultures, dance, literature, writing; just about anything, really. The arts truly intrigue me, especially thought-provoking pieces. Of course, the arts play a major role in inspiring me in my everyday life.

I don’t have a favourite genre – I read any book that interests me!

I am a trained right-hander from young, since apparently being left-handed is considered ‘wrong’. Basically, I’m ambidextrous! No wonder I find it easier to air guitar using my left hand than my right; I simply relate to the arts than subjects that deal with logical thinking better, too.

A stubborn Bull I am, too. I abhor being rushed. I prefer doing matters at my own reasonable pace. I don’t particularly like changes in my routine, but I can adapt quite easily. I’m a very practical person as well. I enjoy the beautiful things in life, but that doesn’t make me shun ugliness at all. Besides, it all depends on how one perceives beauty. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder!

Still am, but I’m slowly learning to accept imperfection into my life. Also, I’m doing my best to erase the many expectations I have so I could one day master the art of letting go and freeing myself to simple happiness and joy.

Compared to before, I’m less dramatic nowadays. Language-wise, I attempt to blog flawlessly in English and speak proper English online with my peers. Call me a Grammar Nazi all you want, but that’s how I roll. I only converse in perfect English in formal situations and during my dramatic outbursts. Otherwise, I’m absolutely capable of communicating like the average Malaysian!

It’s a different issue altogether when you’re forced to learn for the sake of getting good grades, though. Other than that, I’m open to new information and knowledge anytime! I especially would like to learn more languages and pick up new musical instruments.

…are just some of the things I would love to do in the near future, hopefully!

the basic rules apply. If you respect me, I’ll respect you. If you happen to be someone who has low EQ skills, I’ll try to be tolerant but my patience is definitely limited. I’m observant when it comes to human behaviour. I’m a person of many opinions, but I don’t voice them out unless I trust you enough; I’m very honest and candid when it comes to the people I can trust. Even though I trust very easily, not everybody can prove that they’re all that nice. Hurt me, and I’ll only defend myself if necessary. Hurt my family or my friends – you won’t find me holding back.

Is there anything else you would like to know about me?
Throw me your questions and/or doubts here! I honestly have nothing to hide, so you’ll expect the truth and nothing but the truth.

It’s only how I phrase my answers that you’ll have to be aware of.
Or…you can click hereto go back to reading!

I'm not exactly looking forward to CNY, despite the fact I always go all excited over it in school. Farha and Najwa will make very good witnesses.

I'm only doing all of that cos the hols are coming. No school and homework.

No waking up at 5 in the morning.

No need to endure the school stress people give to me.

No need to act so much more differently than the real me.

Why do I need to do that anyway? Why did I put myself upon this unnecessary torture?

And you know what.

I DON'T KNOW EITHER.

I think I AM suffering from schizophrenia.

Or split personality disorder of any kind.

I hate myself for acting like crapshit in school. In front of the peers I mean.

I need to put myself in isolation.

Quarantine me in a small empty room.

Let me ponder what's going on with me.

Let me think what I really want from this life.

And let me scream till my ears bleed.

0 comment(s):

Post a Comment