15:52
Saturday, 10 December 2011
In A Daze.

I have been having dizzy spells recently. Minor headaches and fatigue are also affecting me once more.

I hate feeling so tired. It makes me feel unproductive when it comes to my personal to-do list. (I compiled this list so that I wouldn't feel kind of useless when it comes to everyday life, i.e. doing nothing because I'm not allowed from doing chores in case my health gets affected. More on that some other time.)

There was this period of time when I felt like I was a normal, healthy person again. I was online every single day without fail, I managed to complete the 30 day meme, I got to talk to some of my friends online too.

Obviously, I got too comfortable with that routine.

I really hate how unstable my health is. Just as I'd gotten used to feeling great and active again, my body shuts down on me and I feel pretty awful.

I know I shouldn't be stressing myself out, but I have so many things that are left undone. To think that I actually set a personal deadline for myself to complete said to-do list. (Deadline's before the start of the new year, anyway.)

I just want to start 2012 afresh. I'm looking forward to a major improvement in my health for the coming new year. I don't want to be too hopeful; with great expectations, comes great disappointments as well if things don't go your way. Some of you might think that I'm viewing the glass as half-empty, but it's not me thinking negatively. I just rather not go through the same kind of frustration, pain, and sadness when I found out that my cancer came back in three short months; I was expecting a full recovery, you see.

I'm sorry to those I have yet to respond online; I feel bad for not replying sooner, and it weighs rather heavily on my heart. (Amanda! I'm so sorry! D:) I'm not exaggerating at all; I just feel obliged to do so, somehow. The fact that I do feel kind of lonely a lot and being cut off from the outside world like this could be another reason as well.

Can't cancer just get out of my life already? It's been here long enough, seriously!

***
Being myself makes me look stupid to you. Being defensive makes you view me as someone unfriendly.

I can never please everyone.

It hurts, because I just want to be liked and loved in my own skin.


Photobucket

3 comment(s):
Post a Comment


                                                   


Hello there! You must have guessed by now – this is Leonie here, and I have no intention of boring you out with a long introduction of yours truly.

I have to admit though – I’m quite an interesting individual; those who know me can confirm that, and those who don’t…I don’t mean to brag, but you’re definitely missing out!

Feel free to click here to get to know me a little bit better! No worries, I’m very friendly and I won’t bite!

Meanwhile,
enjoy reading the Fool in Frames!