©Emmy.Leah.
Since I started treatment for lymphoma, I realised that my hormones are seriously getting more fucked up by the day.

I used to be really good at controlling my feelings and emotions. Even if I'm boiling mad at something/someone, I won't lose my temper. Even if I'm sad or upset, I'll hold back those tears until I'm all alone by myself.

Now, I can flare up easily for no particular reason. It's like a major case of PMS. Only the thing is, I have the 'chance' to endure PMS every single day.

Now, I shed tears immediately on the spot before having an opportunity to hide myself and then cry my heart out. If there is one thing I really dislike, it's crying in the presence of people. It doesn't matter whether I know that person or not, I just feel uncomfortable crying in public.

I feel bad that the people around me have to endure the full blast of my crazy and unexpected mood swings. Especially my family members.

I also realised that having all these pent-up emotions inside of me and not filtering them out will cause me to express myself very freely online, causing slight distress and unnecessary worry in both my blogs and also Facebook.

But, I have to admit. It was, and always is, nice to be reassured once in a while. It reminds me that there are people who sincerely care for me, and love me for me. I appreciate knowing these people, and having them in my life. Thank you, you and you. I don't need to name everyone, because you'll know who you are. And I don't want to risk missing out any names either.

I'll recover in no time - physically and emotionally. (:

Generally, everybody wants to be acknowledged of their effort in something. Or their status. I don't like leaving people out, nor ignoring them - whether by accident or on purpose. I truly believe that if I want to be treated well, I have to treat others the same way.

I have my own beliefs and principles. No matter how much you don't like this particular person, even if you're a good friend, if I find that he or she is alright thus far, then I'll be nice to him or her. I'll only be what people consider as 'mean' if that particular person let me down and/or hurt me in any way- physically or emotionally. I don't need that kind of people in my life. I have gone through enough without needing the excess baggage dragging me down.

A random thought passed through my mind before, and it wasn't only once, but more than that. I'd asked myself,


So far, I would always choose the latter.

I hate being involved in emotional conflicts. It tires me out so. Since I was a kid, I'd always been a sensitive person. Being oversensitive has gotten me into a lot of problems, but this oversensitivity of mine is normally correct when it comes to personal instincts.

I hate emotional drama, but ask anyone out there who knows me, and they'll tell you that I'm a born drama mama. Ironic much.

Oh well, you can't deny that life itself is full of ironies.

Cheers.

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It’s not an English name I came up with for myself. My mother is indeed a genius in coming up with such a splendid name for me. Although my name has been unfortunately mutilated (nicknames are excluded) over the past years, full credits to my mum for my current identity.

I’m certainly looking forward to changing the word ‘patient’ to ‘survivor’! If you’re interested to read about my journey in battling lymphoma, you can click here to proceed to my cancer blog.

Ironic, I know; this blog is mainly pink instead. I like all colours actually, but I find myself having an affinity to the colour green. In fact, I can safely say that green is my soul colour.

Languages, music, fashion, photography, cultures, dance, literature, writing; just about anything, really. The arts truly intrigue me, especially thought-provoking pieces. Of course, the arts play a major role in inspiring me in my everyday life.

I don’t have a favourite genre – I read any book that interests me!

I am a trained right-hander from young, since apparently being left-handed is considered ‘wrong’. Basically, I’m ambidextrous! No wonder I find it easier to air guitar using my left hand than my right; I simply relate to the arts than subjects that deal with logical thinking better, too.

A stubborn Bull I am, too. I abhor being rushed. I prefer doing matters at my own reasonable pace. I don’t particularly like changes in my routine, but I can adapt quite easily. I’m a very practical person as well. I enjoy the beautiful things in life, but that doesn’t make me shun ugliness at all. Besides, it all depends on how one perceives beauty. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder!

Still am, but I’m slowly learning to accept imperfection into my life. Also, I’m doing my best to erase the many expectations I have so I could one day master the art of letting go and freeing myself to simple happiness and joy.

Compared to before, I’m less dramatic nowadays. Language-wise, I attempt to blog flawlessly in English and speak proper English online with my peers. Call me a Grammar Nazi all you want, but that’s how I roll. I only converse in perfect English in formal situations and during my dramatic outbursts. Otherwise, I’m absolutely capable of communicating like the average Malaysian!

It’s a different issue altogether when you’re forced to learn for the sake of getting good grades, though. Other than that, I’m open to new information and knowledge anytime! I especially would like to learn more languages and pick up new musical instruments.

…are just some of the things I would love to do in the near future, hopefully!

the basic rules apply. If you respect me, I’ll respect you. If you happen to be someone who has low EQ skills, I’ll try to be tolerant but my patience is definitely limited. I’m observant when it comes to human behaviour. I’m a person of many opinions, but I don’t voice them out unless I trust you enough; I’m very honest and candid when it comes to the people I can trust. Even though I trust very easily, not everybody can prove that they’re all that nice. Hurt me, and I’ll only defend myself if necessary. Hurt my family or my friends – you won’t find me holding back.

Is there anything else you would like to know about me?
Throw me your questions and/or doubts here! I honestly have nothing to hide, so you’ll expect the truth and nothing but the truth.

It’s only how I phrase my answers that you’ll have to be aware of.
Or…you can click hereto go back to reading!

©Emmy.Leah.
Since I started treatment for lymphoma, I realised that my hormones are seriously getting more fucked up by the day.

I used to be really good at controlling my feelings and emotions. Even if I'm boiling mad at something/someone, I won't lose my temper. Even if I'm sad or upset, I'll hold back those tears until I'm all alone by myself.

Now, I can flare up easily for no particular reason. It's like a major case of PMS. Only the thing is, I have the 'chance' to endure PMS every single day.

Now, I shed tears immediately on the spot before having an opportunity to hide myself and then cry my heart out. If there is one thing I really dislike, it's crying in the presence of people. It doesn't matter whether I know that person or not, I just feel uncomfortable crying in public.

I feel bad that the people around me have to endure the full blast of my crazy and unexpected mood swings. Especially my family members.

I also realised that having all these pent-up emotions inside of me and not filtering them out will cause me to express myself very freely online, causing slight distress and unnecessary worry in both my blogs and also Facebook.

But, I have to admit. It was, and always is, nice to be reassured once in a while. It reminds me that there are people who sincerely care for me, and love me for me. I appreciate knowing these people, and having them in my life. Thank you, you and you. I don't need to name everyone, because you'll know who you are. And I don't want to risk missing out any names either.

I'll recover in no time - physically and emotionally. (:

Generally, everybody wants to be acknowledged of their effort in something. Or their status. I don't like leaving people out, nor ignoring them - whether by accident or on purpose. I truly believe that if I want to be treated well, I have to treat others the same way.

I have my own beliefs and principles. No matter how much you don't like this particular person, even if you're a good friend, if I find that he or she is alright thus far, then I'll be nice to him or her. I'll only be what people consider as 'mean' if that particular person let me down and/or hurt me in any way- physically or emotionally. I don't need that kind of people in my life. I have gone through enough without needing the excess baggage dragging me down.

A random thought passed through my mind before, and it wasn't only once, but more than that. I'd asked myself,


So far, I would always choose the latter.

I hate being involved in emotional conflicts. It tires me out so. Since I was a kid, I'd always been a sensitive person. Being oversensitive has gotten me into a lot of problems, but this oversensitivity of mine is normally correct when it comes to personal instincts.

I hate emotional drama, but ask anyone out there who knows me, and they'll tell you that I'm a born drama mama. Ironic much.

Oh well, you can't deny that life itself is full of ironies.

Cheers.

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