©elizabeth anne.
The past few nights have been awful. Insomnia is hitting me once more, and I find it hard to fall asleep. I don't know why, but all these random thoughts just start crowding my head. It's difficult to clear my mind of all that clutter and just relax.

To add to my already-existing problems, nightmares have been haunting me if I actually managed to fall into a deep slumber. These nightmares don't even involve scary creatures or maniacal killers with blood and gore.

In fact, they revolve around disappointment. I constantly see myself being told off by the people I love, the people I really care for. I see myself being alienated from society. I see myself as a failure in life. I realised situations like these scare me more.

I find myself waking up in the middle of the night, in tears.

Hence, I have been one very cranky and moody human recently. Cranky because I didn't get enough sleep, moody because of how real those nightmares felt and they really impacted me a lot.

Knowing me, I think I'll get over this phase once I have enough sleep. I would have indulged myself with some chocolate, unfortunately I'm banned from eating it for now due to my condition. I do believe chocolate helps one to feel better about themselves. It is scientifically proven and explained.

My school is having a graduation ceremony for the fifth formers and the upper six students this Saturday. The headmistress has advised me to not attend, since the hall is going to be packed with people, which means the chances of me getting infected is really high. Fellow fifth formers, especially my friends are kind of protesting against the headmistress because of that. I can't blame her, really. I know it's for my own good, but honestly, it sucks that I can't even attend my own graduation.

I heard that I got a High Distinction for the English New South Wales Test and a Distinction for the Mathematics New South Wales Test. I never even got a Distinction for both subjects before since I started sitting for these exams from 2008 onwards, so I guess I'm just very lucky.

Oh yes, I am aware that the English I use is very dramatic at most times. Personally, I am a very dramatic person, therefore self-expression through dramatic means. If you can't accept the way I type or talk, seriously that isn't my problem. I'm not bothered to change to please you, you and you. I'm not grammatically correct all the time, but on my blog I do aim to use English to its best. Instead of STFU, I'm going to be direct and type it in full, so shut the fuck up already and don't criticise the way I express my ideas if you can't even spell simple words or punctuate your sentences correctly.

Obviously, this isn't a good day for me. May it be better tomorrow.

Cheers.

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It’s not an English name I came up with for myself. My mother is indeed a genius in coming up with such a splendid name for me. Although my name has been unfortunately mutilated (nicknames are excluded) over the past years, full credits to my mum for my current identity.

I’m certainly looking forward to changing the word ‘patient’ to ‘survivor’! If you’re interested to read about my journey in battling lymphoma, you can click here to proceed to my cancer blog.

Ironic, I know; this blog is mainly pink instead. I like all colours actually, but I find myself having an affinity to the colour green. In fact, I can safely say that green is my soul colour.

Languages, music, fashion, photography, cultures, dance, literature, writing; just about anything, really. The arts truly intrigue me, especially thought-provoking pieces. Of course, the arts play a major role in inspiring me in my everyday life.

I don’t have a favourite genre – I read any book that interests me!

I am a trained right-hander from young, since apparently being left-handed is considered ‘wrong’. Basically, I’m ambidextrous! No wonder I find it easier to air guitar using my left hand than my right; I simply relate to the arts than subjects that deal with logical thinking better, too.

A stubborn Bull I am, too. I abhor being rushed. I prefer doing matters at my own reasonable pace. I don’t particularly like changes in my routine, but I can adapt quite easily. I’m a very practical person as well. I enjoy the beautiful things in life, but that doesn’t make me shun ugliness at all. Besides, it all depends on how one perceives beauty. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder!

Still am, but I’m slowly learning to accept imperfection into my life. Also, I’m doing my best to erase the many expectations I have so I could one day master the art of letting go and freeing myself to simple happiness and joy.

Compared to before, I’m less dramatic nowadays. Language-wise, I attempt to blog flawlessly in English and speak proper English online with my peers. Call me a Grammar Nazi all you want, but that’s how I roll. I only converse in perfect English in formal situations and during my dramatic outbursts. Otherwise, I’m absolutely capable of communicating like the average Malaysian!

It’s a different issue altogether when you’re forced to learn for the sake of getting good grades, though. Other than that, I’m open to new information and knowledge anytime! I especially would like to learn more languages and pick up new musical instruments.

…are just some of the things I would love to do in the near future, hopefully!

the basic rules apply. If you respect me, I’ll respect you. If you happen to be someone who has low EQ skills, I’ll try to be tolerant but my patience is definitely limited. I’m observant when it comes to human behaviour. I’m a person of many opinions, but I don’t voice them out unless I trust you enough; I’m very honest and candid when it comes to the people I can trust. Even though I trust very easily, not everybody can prove that they’re all that nice. Hurt me, and I’ll only defend myself if necessary. Hurt my family or my friends – you won’t find me holding back.

Is there anything else you would like to know about me?
Throw me your questions and/or doubts here! I honestly have nothing to hide, so you’ll expect the truth and nothing but the truth.

It’s only how I phrase my answers that you’ll have to be aware of.
Or…you can click hereto go back to reading!

©elizabeth anne.
The past few nights have been awful. Insomnia is hitting me once more, and I find it hard to fall asleep. I don't know why, but all these random thoughts just start crowding my head. It's difficult to clear my mind of all that clutter and just relax.

To add to my already-existing problems, nightmares have been haunting me if I actually managed to fall into a deep slumber. These nightmares don't even involve scary creatures or maniacal killers with blood and gore.

In fact, they revolve around disappointment. I constantly see myself being told off by the people I love, the people I really care for. I see myself being alienated from society. I see myself as a failure in life. I realised situations like these scare me more.

I find myself waking up in the middle of the night, in tears.

Hence, I have been one very cranky and moody human recently. Cranky because I didn't get enough sleep, moody because of how real those nightmares felt and they really impacted me a lot.

Knowing me, I think I'll get over this phase once I have enough sleep. I would have indulged myself with some chocolate, unfortunately I'm banned from eating it for now due to my condition. I do believe chocolate helps one to feel better about themselves. It is scientifically proven and explained.

My school is having a graduation ceremony for the fifth formers and the upper six students this Saturday. The headmistress has advised me to not attend, since the hall is going to be packed with people, which means the chances of me getting infected is really high. Fellow fifth formers, especially my friends are kind of protesting against the headmistress because of that. I can't blame her, really. I know it's for my own good, but honestly, it sucks that I can't even attend my own graduation.

I heard that I got a High Distinction for the English New South Wales Test and a Distinction for the Mathematics New South Wales Test. I never even got a Distinction for both subjects before since I started sitting for these exams from 2008 onwards, so I guess I'm just very lucky.

Oh yes, I am aware that the English I use is very dramatic at most times. Personally, I am a very dramatic person, therefore self-expression through dramatic means. If you can't accept the way I type or talk, seriously that isn't my problem. I'm not bothered to change to please you, you and you. I'm not grammatically correct all the time, but on my blog I do aim to use English to its best. Instead of STFU, I'm going to be direct and type it in full, so shut the fuck up already and don't criticise the way I express my ideas if you can't even spell simple words or punctuate your sentences correctly.

Obviously, this isn't a good day for me. May it be better tomorrow.

Cheers.

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