©nikolinelr.
I had been having strange dreams recently. Ridiculous as they are, they are so painfully real. At least insomnia hasn't been a problem for the past few nights. For someone who never had problems sleeping at night, tossing and turning in bed certainly was a change. As insomnia is one of the many side-effects of chemotherapy, I can only bear with it until I'm officially done with cancer.

Recently, I also find myself feeling very poetic. I have been composing lyrics, and I have tunes in my head that go along with them. For the first time in my life, I finally feel creative. I always find myself a very unoriginal and boring person, even if my friends don't think so.

Maybe it's a sign that I'm slowly losing my mind.

Blink 182's I Miss You is on repeat tonight. Listening to it doesn't only comforts me, but somehow I feel this song easily hypnotises me into feeling nothingness.

Sometimes I wonder, why are people willing to step down to the lowest of lows just to get something they want? Is it worth it gaining something through underhand means? I certainly think not. But obviously, not everybody thinks the same way.

It's already October. Already we are nearing the end of 2010.

I'm looking forward to 2011 actually. Starting college, turning 18 and meeting up with friends are only some of the things I'm anticipating next year.

I'll be going on a hiatus from the online world from November onwards. Till then, I'll keep updating my blog. Or maybe not.

Till the next entry, cheers!

0 comment(s):

Post a Comment

                                                   

It’s not an English name I came up with for myself. My mother is indeed a genius in coming up with such a splendid name for me. Although my name has been unfortunately mutilated (nicknames are excluded) over the past years, full credits to my mum for my current identity.

I’m certainly looking forward to changing the word ‘patient’ to ‘survivor’! If you’re interested to read about my journey in battling lymphoma, you can click here to proceed to my cancer blog.

Ironic, I know; this blog is mainly pink instead. I like all colours actually, but I find myself having an affinity to the colour green. In fact, I can safely say that green is my soul colour.

Languages, music, fashion, photography, cultures, dance, literature, writing; just about anything, really. The arts truly intrigue me, especially thought-provoking pieces. Of course, the arts play a major role in inspiring me in my everyday life.

I don’t have a favourite genre – I read any book that interests me!

I am a trained right-hander from young, since apparently being left-handed is considered ‘wrong’. Basically, I’m ambidextrous! No wonder I find it easier to air guitar using my left hand than my right; I simply relate to the arts than subjects that deal with logical thinking better, too.

A stubborn Bull I am, too. I abhor being rushed. I prefer doing matters at my own reasonable pace. I don’t particularly like changes in my routine, but I can adapt quite easily. I’m a very practical person as well. I enjoy the beautiful things in life, but that doesn’t make me shun ugliness at all. Besides, it all depends on how one perceives beauty. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder!

Still am, but I’m slowly learning to accept imperfection into my life. Also, I’m doing my best to erase the many expectations I have so I could one day master the art of letting go and freeing myself to simple happiness and joy.

Compared to before, I’m less dramatic nowadays. Language-wise, I attempt to blog flawlessly in English and speak proper English online with my peers. Call me a Grammar Nazi all you want, but that’s how I roll. I only converse in perfect English in formal situations and during my dramatic outbursts. Otherwise, I’m absolutely capable of communicating like the average Malaysian!

It’s a different issue altogether when you’re forced to learn for the sake of getting good grades, though. Other than that, I’m open to new information and knowledge anytime! I especially would like to learn more languages and pick up new musical instruments.

…are just some of the things I would love to do in the near future, hopefully!

the basic rules apply. If you respect me, I’ll respect you. If you happen to be someone who has low EQ skills, I’ll try to be tolerant but my patience is definitely limited. I’m observant when it comes to human behaviour. I’m a person of many opinions, but I don’t voice them out unless I trust you enough; I’m very honest and candid when it comes to the people I can trust. Even though I trust very easily, not everybody can prove that they’re all that nice. Hurt me, and I’ll only defend myself if necessary. Hurt my family or my friends – you won’t find me holding back.

Is there anything else you would like to know about me?
Throw me your questions and/or doubts here! I honestly have nothing to hide, so you’ll expect the truth and nothing but the truth.

It’s only how I phrase my answers that you’ll have to be aware of.
Or…you can click hereto go back to reading!

©nikolinelr.
I had been having strange dreams recently. Ridiculous as they are, they are so painfully real. At least insomnia hasn't been a problem for the past few nights. For someone who never had problems sleeping at night, tossing and turning in bed certainly was a change. As insomnia is one of the many side-effects of chemotherapy, I can only bear with it until I'm officially done with cancer.

Recently, I also find myself feeling very poetic. I have been composing lyrics, and I have tunes in my head that go along with them. For the first time in my life, I finally feel creative. I always find myself a very unoriginal and boring person, even if my friends don't think so.

Maybe it's a sign that I'm slowly losing my mind.

Blink 182's I Miss You is on repeat tonight. Listening to it doesn't only comforts me, but somehow I feel this song easily hypnotises me into feeling nothingness.

Sometimes I wonder, why are people willing to step down to the lowest of lows just to get something they want? Is it worth it gaining something through underhand means? I certainly think not. But obviously, not everybody thinks the same way.

It's already October. Already we are nearing the end of 2010.

I'm looking forward to 2011 actually. Starting college, turning 18 and meeting up with friends are only some of the things I'm anticipating next year.

I'll be going on a hiatus from the online world from November onwards. Till then, I'll keep updating my blog. Or maybe not.

Till the next entry, cheers!

0 comment(s):

Post a Comment