Hey you.
Yes, YOU.
The one who is so dear to me.
I know why we ain't talking.
On your side?
It's because I refused to talk even after you said sorry.
You got offended by my Facebook status.
You're hurt by my actions.

What about me?
I find it all so idiotic we're not talking over such a small matter.
In fact, you weren't the only person who was mad.
I was mad as well.
Mad because you were mad over this.
Mad because you made a fuss of it.
Mad at myself because it had to happen in the first place.
And when I said sorry,
even if I didn't think it was my fault,
you said there was no point.

If there was no point,
why get mad at me in the first place?
That's what I really don't understand.
This confusion you're placing me in,
caused me to act like how I did before you discovered my Facebook status.
Which to me,
I considered it as history already.
It didn't apply to me anymore.
I can't blame you for not having an Internet connection then,
but you blew it up again.
I just hope you'll read the date of whatever I post on Facebook next time.

I'm not putting the blame on you 100%.
I know I have my faults too.

Knowing you,
I don't think this is affecting you one bit.
You'll just put it aside and you'll go on with life as usual.
But you are clear that things like this will bug me for a very long time.
It hurts.
You look happy.
But I won't know.
Because I'm not you.

I tried to step into your shoes.
You're tired.
You're exhausted.
You have so many responsibilities.
You have so many things to juggle.
I understand.

All I want is some understanding from you as well.
That in a fight,
both parties are at fault.
I will never entirely pushed the blame to you.

I watched Anna's video on her blog.
The day we sang and danced and did random stuff.
I cried mainly because of one reason.

I wondered if we can ever be that close again.

I looked back at our photos together.

I wondered if we can ever stand right next to each other without any sore feelings in a photo again.

I dreamt of us talking like the old times.

I wondered if we can ever have a conversation together again.

You were snoring softly when you went to sleep after finishing your paper today.

I wondered if I can ever make fun of you about it and kid around with you again.

Hey you.
I miss you a lot.
I don't know about you though.

I just want you to know,
I treasure you a lot.
I treasure us a lot.

You were there for me when shit happened to me.
I will be there for you if shit happened to you as well.

If you let me.

I'm sorry all of this has to happen.
I doubt you'll see this anyway.
But I really need to get this out of my system.

I miss you.

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It’s not an English name I came up with for myself. My mother is indeed a genius in coming up with such a splendid name for me. Although my name has been unfortunately mutilated (nicknames are excluded) over the past years, full credits to my mum for my current identity.

I’m certainly looking forward to changing the word ‘patient’ to ‘survivor’! If you’re interested to read about my journey in battling lymphoma, you can click here to proceed to my cancer blog.

Ironic, I know; this blog is mainly pink instead. I like all colours actually, but I find myself having an affinity to the colour green. In fact, I can safely say that green is my soul colour.

Languages, music, fashion, photography, cultures, dance, literature, writing; just about anything, really. The arts truly intrigue me, especially thought-provoking pieces. Of course, the arts play a major role in inspiring me in my everyday life.

I don’t have a favourite genre – I read any book that interests me!

I am a trained right-hander from young, since apparently being left-handed is considered ‘wrong’. Basically, I’m ambidextrous! No wonder I find it easier to air guitar using my left hand than my right; I simply relate to the arts than subjects that deal with logical thinking better, too.

A stubborn Bull I am, too. I abhor being rushed. I prefer doing matters at my own reasonable pace. I don’t particularly like changes in my routine, but I can adapt quite easily. I’m a very practical person as well. I enjoy the beautiful things in life, but that doesn’t make me shun ugliness at all. Besides, it all depends on how one perceives beauty. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder!

Still am, but I’m slowly learning to accept imperfection into my life. Also, I’m doing my best to erase the many expectations I have so I could one day master the art of letting go and freeing myself to simple happiness and joy.

Compared to before, I’m less dramatic nowadays. Language-wise, I attempt to blog flawlessly in English and speak proper English online with my peers. Call me a Grammar Nazi all you want, but that’s how I roll. I only converse in perfect English in formal situations and during my dramatic outbursts. Otherwise, I’m absolutely capable of communicating like the average Malaysian!

It’s a different issue altogether when you’re forced to learn for the sake of getting good grades, though. Other than that, I’m open to new information and knowledge anytime! I especially would like to learn more languages and pick up new musical instruments.

…are just some of the things I would love to do in the near future, hopefully!

the basic rules apply. If you respect me, I’ll respect you. If you happen to be someone who has low EQ skills, I’ll try to be tolerant but my patience is definitely limited. I’m observant when it comes to human behaviour. I’m a person of many opinions, but I don’t voice them out unless I trust you enough; I’m very honest and candid when it comes to the people I can trust. Even though I trust very easily, not everybody can prove that they’re all that nice. Hurt me, and I’ll only defend myself if necessary. Hurt my family or my friends – you won’t find me holding back.

Is there anything else you would like to know about me?
Throw me your questions and/or doubts here! I honestly have nothing to hide, so you’ll expect the truth and nothing but the truth.

It’s only how I phrase my answers that you’ll have to be aware of.
Or…you can click hereto go back to reading!

Hey you.
Yes, YOU.
The one who is so dear to me.
I know why we ain't talking.
On your side?
It's because I refused to talk even after you said sorry.
You got offended by my Facebook status.
You're hurt by my actions.

What about me?
I find it all so idiotic we're not talking over such a small matter.
In fact, you weren't the only person who was mad.
I was mad as well.
Mad because you were mad over this.
Mad because you made a fuss of it.
Mad at myself because it had to happen in the first place.
And when I said sorry,
even if I didn't think it was my fault,
you said there was no point.

If there was no point,
why get mad at me in the first place?
That's what I really don't understand.
This confusion you're placing me in,
caused me to act like how I did before you discovered my Facebook status.
Which to me,
I considered it as history already.
It didn't apply to me anymore.
I can't blame you for not having an Internet connection then,
but you blew it up again.
I just hope you'll read the date of whatever I post on Facebook next time.

I'm not putting the blame on you 100%.
I know I have my faults too.

Knowing you,
I don't think this is affecting you one bit.
You'll just put it aside and you'll go on with life as usual.
But you are clear that things like this will bug me for a very long time.
It hurts.
You look happy.
But I won't know.
Because I'm not you.

I tried to step into your shoes.
You're tired.
You're exhausted.
You have so many responsibilities.
You have so many things to juggle.
I understand.

All I want is some understanding from you as well.
That in a fight,
both parties are at fault.
I will never entirely pushed the blame to you.

I watched Anna's video on her blog.
The day we sang and danced and did random stuff.
I cried mainly because of one reason.

I wondered if we can ever be that close again.

I looked back at our photos together.

I wondered if we can ever stand right next to each other without any sore feelings in a photo again.

I dreamt of us talking like the old times.

I wondered if we can ever have a conversation together again.

You were snoring softly when you went to sleep after finishing your paper today.

I wondered if I can ever make fun of you about it and kid around with you again.

Hey you.
I miss you a lot.
I don't know about you though.

I just want you to know,
I treasure you a lot.
I treasure us a lot.

You were there for me when shit happened to me.
I will be there for you if shit happened to you as well.

If you let me.

I'm sorry all of this has to happen.
I doubt you'll see this anyway.
But I really need to get this out of my system.

I miss you.

2 comment(s):

Post a Comment