00:42
Monday, 10 May 2010
Monday, 10 May 2010
Confessions I.
I once mentioned this to two of my saviors during my darker days last year, Gurpreet and Jia Ying.
"I really dislike it when people respond to me with an, "I don't know."
That's why I avoid saying that whenever I could,
because if I don't like others saying it,
others might not like it when I say it too."
That's why I avoid saying that whenever I could,
because if I don't like others saying it,
others might not like it when I say it too."
This time, I'm going to say this, loud and clear.
"I really don't know."
I had never felt like this since last year.
I never argued with you guys before.
I'm upset things had to turn out like this.
I tried to talk, but nothing came out of my mouth.
When I tried to defend my stand, I got shot down instead. Which caused more bloodshed.
I thought what I did could fix things, apparently it got worse.
So I gave up trying.
I know what I'm doing, and if you guys feel the hurt and the awkwardness, well, so do I.
It isn't a one-sided effect okay.
I'm just sorry things had to turn out like this.
I do not understand why are we like this for such a small matter!
We handled more complicated issues with better states of mind.
And I apologised, but received negative feedback.
So I thought if that's the case, I'll not talk unless I'm talked to first.
I thought that way because I assumed once you guys start talking to me,
everything would be forgiven and forgotten.
I admit, emotions got the better of me as well.
I got pissed because I was given such negative feedback.
I assumed and took for granted that the replies are going to be,
"It's okay. I forgive you. I'm sorry too."
But I didn't get it, and emotions ran wild.
Things had been happening at home too.
I just have no channel to express anything now.
Bottled-up, and sealed.
The burden is starting to drain me though
I know the Facebook status had caused more unnecessary problems too.
Shouldn't had left it there too long.
We're now back to square one because of it.
I have no idea when is this going to end.
Hopefully soon.
We handled more complicated issues with better states of mind.
And I apologised, but received negative feedback.
So I thought if that's the case, I'll not talk unless I'm talked to first.
I thought that way because I assumed once you guys start talking to me,
everything would be forgiven and forgotten.
I admit, emotions got the better of me as well.
I got pissed because I was given such negative feedback.
I assumed and took for granted that the replies are going to be,
"It's okay. I forgive you. I'm sorry too."
But I didn't get it, and emotions ran wild.
Things had been happening at home too.
I just have no channel to express anything now.
Bottled-up, and sealed.
The burden is starting to drain me though
I know the Facebook status had caused more unnecessary problems too.
Shouldn't had left it there too long.
We're now back to square one because of it.
I have no idea when is this going to end.
Hopefully soon.
I watched the video on Anna's blog.
Makes me laugh and cry at the same time already.
When can we go back to the old times..?
I'm a stubborn coward.
Sometimes principles get the better of me.
Hiatus.
I need the break.
Makes me laugh and cry at the same time already.
When can we go back to the old times..?
I'm a stubborn coward.
Sometimes principles get the better of me.
Hiatus.
I need the break.
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