Simplicity is beauty at its purest.
I stayed at home again yesterday, since my fever decided to haunt me for a little while more. Bet it's having fun, as it apparently seems I'm such an easy target to be attacked by these viruses that make me fall sick every month since the beginning of the year.

And no, I'm not joking.

Neither am I exaggerating.

Unfortunately, it seems that my words - whether verbally or through written words in black and white as stated in my blog, had been highly misinterpreted indeed.

How unfortunate it is that these people seem to think that I am typing and saying all of this to attract the attention of others, to have people to feel sorry for me, to get the pity of others that are actually lending their ears or eyes in the case of my blog, for me.

It is also just as unfortunate, that these very people that seem to think so, are actually the people whom I used to call friends.

Friends.
I'm starting to understand that this very word is a highly subjective term.

Certain people that I had used to trust, used my own words against me.

Because of that, it is definitely quite upsetting.

Disappointing.

Certain people that I had shared my tears and smiles with, made me cry even more and turned that smile the other way round.

Certain people that I had helped but I don't expect anything in return, just for a sincere helping hand when I do really need it, decided to help someone else and broke their promises instead, especially a certain someone.

Certain people that had bitched and dissed about this certain somebody to me, is now oh so nice to the said certain somebody and even pledged to be the greatest friend that will always be by certain somebody's side.

Certain people befriended me, all because they had thought that they could gain fame, popularity, a name for themselves in the pursuit of paving the path of success for them only.

When these certain people had gotten what they had wanted from just befriending me, or they realized they couldn't get anything out of me at all, they decided to just throw me into the reject pile or even better yet, take advantage of my niceness and leniency while kicking me around like a football, or stepping on my head as if I was a Nobody.

I don't want to name anybody here, as it had all been revealed in my Wordpress account, a site I had recently decided to sign up for after thinking that password-required posts are now absoulutely necessary in my life as a student in an all girls' school and my sarcasm and bluntness as a blogger is not appreciated at all, even if I do have the rights to rant about my honest thoughts in my blog.

"Is this what I deserve from just trying to be a friend?"

"Is this how I'm suppose to behave, cuss about others and lie my way to get what I want?"

"Am I doing the right thing, shunning myself away from them and still letting them diss about me behind my back?"

"Am I going to survive without them, who are loved by many thus it is easier for them to get what they want?"

"Can I achieve something on my own, without depending on the aforementioned certain people now?"

"Can I stand on my own too feet, to not be too soft-hearted and to maintain my sanity with this evil thing called reality encircling my world?"
Well, only time will tell now.

I had made a decision.

It had started on Monday.

It had officially started today.

Hopefully, I would stick to this decision that I had made a long time ago, but had failed time and time again for being too nice, it seems.

And hopefully, I would never regret this. (:

PS : To the very same certain people and the certain somebody, like I had said before, I had never used names in my entries unless completely necessary. If you think you are among the people that I had mentioned, it's your guilt that is making you think so by the way.

And what's more, your behaviour(s) towards me in school clearly shows that you guys did placed yourselves as the certain people or/and certain somebody I'm talking about. Guilt's getting to you huh.

My question is, "Why torture yourselves with that same guilt?

Why did y'all did all of that in the first place? Jealousy? Envy? Revenge? Anger? Fury? Dissatisfaction?"

Only you would know for yourselves, my dears.

Ah, this is the life.

Imbeciles.

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It’s not an English name I came up with for myself. My mother is indeed a genius in coming up with such a splendid name for me. Although my name has been unfortunately mutilated (nicknames are excluded) over the past years, full credits to my mum for my current identity.

I’m certainly looking forward to changing the word ‘patient’ to ‘survivor’! If you’re interested to read about my journey in battling lymphoma, you can click here to proceed to my cancer blog.

Ironic, I know; this blog is mainly pink instead. I like all colours actually, but I find myself having an affinity to the colour green. In fact, I can safely say that green is my soul colour.

Languages, music, fashion, photography, cultures, dance, literature, writing; just about anything, really. The arts truly intrigue me, especially thought-provoking pieces. Of course, the arts play a major role in inspiring me in my everyday life.

I don’t have a favourite genre – I read any book that interests me!

I am a trained right-hander from young, since apparently being left-handed is considered ‘wrong’. Basically, I’m ambidextrous! No wonder I find it easier to air guitar using my left hand than my right; I simply relate to the arts than subjects that deal with logical thinking better, too.

A stubborn Bull I am, too. I abhor being rushed. I prefer doing matters at my own reasonable pace. I don’t particularly like changes in my routine, but I can adapt quite easily. I’m a very practical person as well. I enjoy the beautiful things in life, but that doesn’t make me shun ugliness at all. Besides, it all depends on how one perceives beauty. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder!

Still am, but I’m slowly learning to accept imperfection into my life. Also, I’m doing my best to erase the many expectations I have so I could one day master the art of letting go and freeing myself to simple happiness and joy.

Compared to before, I’m less dramatic nowadays. Language-wise, I attempt to blog flawlessly in English and speak proper English online with my peers. Call me a Grammar Nazi all you want, but that’s how I roll. I only converse in perfect English in formal situations and during my dramatic outbursts. Otherwise, I’m absolutely capable of communicating like the average Malaysian!

It’s a different issue altogether when you’re forced to learn for the sake of getting good grades, though. Other than that, I’m open to new information and knowledge anytime! I especially would like to learn more languages and pick up new musical instruments.

…are just some of the things I would love to do in the near future, hopefully!

the basic rules apply. If you respect me, I’ll respect you. If you happen to be someone who has low EQ skills, I’ll try to be tolerant but my patience is definitely limited. I’m observant when it comes to human behaviour. I’m a person of many opinions, but I don’t voice them out unless I trust you enough; I’m very honest and candid when it comes to the people I can trust. Even though I trust very easily, not everybody can prove that they’re all that nice. Hurt me, and I’ll only defend myself if necessary. Hurt my family or my friends – you won’t find me holding back.

Is there anything else you would like to know about me?
Throw me your questions and/or doubts here! I honestly have nothing to hide, so you’ll expect the truth and nothing but the truth.

It’s only how I phrase my answers that you’ll have to be aware of.
Or…you can click hereto go back to reading!

Simplicity is beauty at its purest.
I stayed at home again yesterday, since my fever decided to haunt me for a little while more. Bet it's having fun, as it apparently seems I'm such an easy target to be attacked by these viruses that make me fall sick every month since the beginning of the year.

And no, I'm not joking.

Neither am I exaggerating.

Unfortunately, it seems that my words - whether verbally or through written words in black and white as stated in my blog, had been highly misinterpreted indeed.

How unfortunate it is that these people seem to think that I am typing and saying all of this to attract the attention of others, to have people to feel sorry for me, to get the pity of others that are actually lending their ears or eyes in the case of my blog, for me.

It is also just as unfortunate, that these very people that seem to think so, are actually the people whom I used to call friends.

Friends.
I'm starting to understand that this very word is a highly subjective term.

Certain people that I had used to trust, used my own words against me.

Because of that, it is definitely quite upsetting.

Disappointing.

Certain people that I had shared my tears and smiles with, made me cry even more and turned that smile the other way round.

Certain people that I had helped but I don't expect anything in return, just for a sincere helping hand when I do really need it, decided to help someone else and broke their promises instead, especially a certain someone.

Certain people that had bitched and dissed about this certain somebody to me, is now oh so nice to the said certain somebody and even pledged to be the greatest friend that will always be by certain somebody's side.

Certain people befriended me, all because they had thought that they could gain fame, popularity, a name for themselves in the pursuit of paving the path of success for them only.

When these certain people had gotten what they had wanted from just befriending me, or they realized they couldn't get anything out of me at all, they decided to just throw me into the reject pile or even better yet, take advantage of my niceness and leniency while kicking me around like a football, or stepping on my head as if I was a Nobody.

I don't want to name anybody here, as it had all been revealed in my Wordpress account, a site I had recently decided to sign up for after thinking that password-required posts are now absoulutely necessary in my life as a student in an all girls' school and my sarcasm and bluntness as a blogger is not appreciated at all, even if I do have the rights to rant about my honest thoughts in my blog.

"Is this what I deserve from just trying to be a friend?"

"Is this how I'm suppose to behave, cuss about others and lie my way to get what I want?"

"Am I doing the right thing, shunning myself away from them and still letting them diss about me behind my back?"

"Am I going to survive without them, who are loved by many thus it is easier for them to get what they want?"

"Can I achieve something on my own, without depending on the aforementioned certain people now?"

"Can I stand on my own too feet, to not be too soft-hearted and to maintain my sanity with this evil thing called reality encircling my world?"
Well, only time will tell now.

I had made a decision.

It had started on Monday.

It had officially started today.

Hopefully, I would stick to this decision that I had made a long time ago, but had failed time and time again for being too nice, it seems.

And hopefully, I would never regret this. (:

PS : To the very same certain people and the certain somebody, like I had said before, I had never used names in my entries unless completely necessary. If you think you are among the people that I had mentioned, it's your guilt that is making you think so by the way.

And what's more, your behaviour(s) towards me in school clearly shows that you guys did placed yourselves as the certain people or/and certain somebody I'm talking about. Guilt's getting to you huh.

My question is, "Why torture yourselves with that same guilt?

Why did y'all did all of that in the first place? Jealousy? Envy? Revenge? Anger? Fury? Dissatisfaction?"

Only you would know for yourselves, my dears.

Ah, this is the life.

Imbeciles.

0 comment(s):

Post a Comment