Quote of the day :
"Learn to expect the unexpected."
Personal quote for 2009? Maybe.

The starting of the new year had brought many unexpectations that I would had never dreamed or ever thought of in my whole 15 years 8 months and 12 days living on Planet Earth.

Through RYLA all the way back in December 2008, it was just like yesterday that I was finally discovering the real me - with the help of the awesome friends I made there, the new people I had known there, and gaining a wider perspective on a variety of issues, whether personal or in general.

All of them, in one way or another, made a huge impact in my after RYLA life.

And after going through the mere beginning of post-RYLA life, it just struck me that I, what I used to think of myself as an average teenager who just like any other, wants to have friends and family who loves her, excel in her studies, and similar bullshit - had actually made impacts of similar levels to two different individuals.

One of them apparently stopped a really bad habit after I'd appeared in said person's world. Said person also said that me turning up in said person's life had changed everything for the better. I care for this person, I really do. Because of this individual, I thought that I finally felt cared for and loved for the first time. 'Cos after another friend that I used to be real close with totally broke my heart, I could swear that from that second in life, my heart had totally stoned - for good. It took me three years to recover from that heartbreak, I thought I can finally move on from my previous disappointment and see things in a more positive light as last.

But here comes the other individual that I had made a huge impact on said individual's life. Honestly, I never would had thought that this person would know of my existence at all, adding the fact that we had never even had eye contact throughout those few times we actually were at the same place at the same moment. But since then, everything that happened to us seemed so fast. Once again I felt loved for, that there's actually people that do care for me that way, but I had already chose to commit to a whole new experience. What I still can't believe is how much this person thinks so highly of me, and is still willing to wait, knowing the consequences and such.

I literally teared up after reading a testimonial that I can definitely relate to.

The weird thing is - I just couldn't cry.

Tears welled up in my eyes, no matter how hard I tried crying, to release all those pent up emotions, those tears just stayed there, refusing to budge.

Note that I am not trying to be poetic, nor trying to brag that my mere existence had changed a few homosapiens' lives.

All the recent happenings just made me officially dumbfounded.

I thought I could control my emotions stupendously well since my heart stoned and all.

Apparently, I'm still not good enough.

0 comment(s):

Post a Comment

                                                   

It’s not an English name I came up with for myself. My mother is indeed a genius in coming up with such a splendid name for me. Although my name has been unfortunately mutilated (nicknames are excluded) over the past years, full credits to my mum for my current identity.

I’m certainly looking forward to changing the word ‘patient’ to ‘survivor’! If you’re interested to read about my journey in battling lymphoma, you can click here to proceed to my cancer blog.

Ironic, I know; this blog is mainly pink instead. I like all colours actually, but I find myself having an affinity to the colour green. In fact, I can safely say that green is my soul colour.

Languages, music, fashion, photography, cultures, dance, literature, writing; just about anything, really. The arts truly intrigue me, especially thought-provoking pieces. Of course, the arts play a major role in inspiring me in my everyday life.

I don’t have a favourite genre – I read any book that interests me!

I am a trained right-hander from young, since apparently being left-handed is considered ‘wrong’. Basically, I’m ambidextrous! No wonder I find it easier to air guitar using my left hand than my right; I simply relate to the arts than subjects that deal with logical thinking better, too.

A stubborn Bull I am, too. I abhor being rushed. I prefer doing matters at my own reasonable pace. I don’t particularly like changes in my routine, but I can adapt quite easily. I’m a very practical person as well. I enjoy the beautiful things in life, but that doesn’t make me shun ugliness at all. Besides, it all depends on how one perceives beauty. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder!

Still am, but I’m slowly learning to accept imperfection into my life. Also, I’m doing my best to erase the many expectations I have so I could one day master the art of letting go and freeing myself to simple happiness and joy.

Compared to before, I’m less dramatic nowadays. Language-wise, I attempt to blog flawlessly in English and speak proper English online with my peers. Call me a Grammar Nazi all you want, but that’s how I roll. I only converse in perfect English in formal situations and during my dramatic outbursts. Otherwise, I’m absolutely capable of communicating like the average Malaysian!

It’s a different issue altogether when you’re forced to learn for the sake of getting good grades, though. Other than that, I’m open to new information and knowledge anytime! I especially would like to learn more languages and pick up new musical instruments.

…are just some of the things I would love to do in the near future, hopefully!

the basic rules apply. If you respect me, I’ll respect you. If you happen to be someone who has low EQ skills, I’ll try to be tolerant but my patience is definitely limited. I’m observant when it comes to human behaviour. I’m a person of many opinions, but I don’t voice them out unless I trust you enough; I’m very honest and candid when it comes to the people I can trust. Even though I trust very easily, not everybody can prove that they’re all that nice. Hurt me, and I’ll only defend myself if necessary. Hurt my family or my friends – you won’t find me holding back.

Is there anything else you would like to know about me?
Throw me your questions and/or doubts here! I honestly have nothing to hide, so you’ll expect the truth and nothing but the truth.

It’s only how I phrase my answers that you’ll have to be aware of.
Or…you can click hereto go back to reading!

Quote of the day :
"Learn to expect the unexpected."
Personal quote for 2009? Maybe.

The starting of the new year had brought many unexpectations that I would had never dreamed or ever thought of in my whole 15 years 8 months and 12 days living on Planet Earth.

Through RYLA all the way back in December 2008, it was just like yesterday that I was finally discovering the real me - with the help of the awesome friends I made there, the new people I had known there, and gaining a wider perspective on a variety of issues, whether personal or in general.

All of them, in one way or another, made a huge impact in my after RYLA life.

And after going through the mere beginning of post-RYLA life, it just struck me that I, what I used to think of myself as an average teenager who just like any other, wants to have friends and family who loves her, excel in her studies, and similar bullshit - had actually made impacts of similar levels to two different individuals.

One of them apparently stopped a really bad habit after I'd appeared in said person's world. Said person also said that me turning up in said person's life had changed everything for the better. I care for this person, I really do. Because of this individual, I thought that I finally felt cared for and loved for the first time. 'Cos after another friend that I used to be real close with totally broke my heart, I could swear that from that second in life, my heart had totally stoned - for good. It took me three years to recover from that heartbreak, I thought I can finally move on from my previous disappointment and see things in a more positive light as last.

But here comes the other individual that I had made a huge impact on said individual's life. Honestly, I never would had thought that this person would know of my existence at all, adding the fact that we had never even had eye contact throughout those few times we actually were at the same place at the same moment. But since then, everything that happened to us seemed so fast. Once again I felt loved for, that there's actually people that do care for me that way, but I had already chose to commit to a whole new experience. What I still can't believe is how much this person thinks so highly of me, and is still willing to wait, knowing the consequences and such.

I literally teared up after reading a testimonial that I can definitely relate to.

The weird thing is - I just couldn't cry.

Tears welled up in my eyes, no matter how hard I tried crying, to release all those pent up emotions, those tears just stayed there, refusing to budge.

Note that I am not trying to be poetic, nor trying to brag that my mere existence had changed a few homosapiens' lives.

All the recent happenings just made me officially dumbfounded.

I thought I could control my emotions stupendously well since my heart stoned and all.

Apparently, I'm still not good enough.

0 comment(s):

Post a Comment