A fine borderline between the two strongest emotions in the world - love and hate.

If I were to write a thesis on this very topic, this blog entry would never had been done.

The fact is, for me anyway, how these two emotions had been colliding in one human body - me.

Of course, we can't deny that hate is always too strong an emotion to describe something we usually call in a nicer way - dislike.

Anything, the point is, I'm not going to nag about the definitions of these two.

Still, my blog's there for me to rant, that's a sure thing.

*****Recently, stuff had been happening.

And here's the worst part, I can't write down the details here.

Though, maybe I could summarize it.

It's just amazing, over this past year, I had came upon this theory before, but it never did applied till now.

LOVE = HATE.

First up, I had finally got the guts to mingle with the la gente around me, getting out from restricting myself to my own company.

It does bring the consequences, of course.

To this certain person, I thought YOU were always there for me, you said so for yourself. I finally managed to live life as a normal teenager with you around. You taught me things I could had never had if you weren't there. You seemed so supportive of everything I did, maybe except for the really not so good issues that I did but had not been exposed yet. Especially my passion for photography. Self-expression through art. Though you didn't gave me any of the constructive criticism I wanted to improve, at least you gave one word opinions, and that was enough already for me, knowing that you will always be my backup that I can count on if there's bound to be any discrimination from the general eye. Knowing that you wouldn't go against me with a different way of self-expression compared to the rest of the acquaintances we know.

I was wrong.

You were the first to tell me something about my latest series that I did. Something that involves my principles of life. You had given me comments, real comments at least if I might say so myself, but it wasn't even problems like the quality of the photo or the lighting and the amount of noise.

You choose to tell me this very comment, which you thought was just your honest opinion, and that you were 110% positive on. You thought you were absolutely right, of everything from this matter to that, and you didn't even bother to think about what I would feel if you said it to me. Right to my face.

I was DEVASTATED. Disappointed.

I'd never thought you could had actually said that to me. To actually think that I am able to do such a thing. For a purpose that had never crossed my mind.

But you know what? You'd already did.

Thank goodness you can't be online right now, maybe you'll read this, maybe not.

I doubt you'll know it's you anyway.

It's just like you to be this one word - INSENSITIVE.

That is merely the first example of love turned hate (or dislike to those of you who can't accept the term hate in this blog post.)

Now, let me state an example of hate / dislike turned love.

As you all know, there's not only one kind of love we had experienced.

Friendship love, family love, love for pets, relationship love, you get the point.

For me, it's the start of a friendship. Finally.

YOU used to be very closely related to my life. Everything I did, you were there for me. But due to the fact that we always had a difference in opinions in almost everything, mindsets always clashed and crashed at this point.

And when the most major of all clashing and crashing happened, and got resolved in a nowhere near average peaceful method too, it went on to friendship at last.

Something that only the both of us can understand. Can get along with over the same interests. Due to the 1001 problems we used to fight and debate over with - verbally or physically. Hahah. Those days. Bring both sweet and bitter memories.

And now, I'm not ashamed at all to call you one of my closest friends. Best buddies. Fellow gamers. Fellow art appreciators.

We actually think alike. Too alike till everything went wrong before. Thankfully, we found out the perfect solution to solve this in a better way. And hopefully nothing like last time could occur anymore, for I can't afford to lose rare friendships like this once again.

Thanks for being there for me.

My family? Trust me, I can't wait to get out from the house at any moment of the day. So any invites to hang out with you people? Drop me a tag or text me, I'll cook up a nice recipe to paint a white lie to the 'rents and go out and have a taste of sweet, sweet freedom.

Please. If anything goes wrong, I'll be fully responsible for it. Don't need to expect a lawsuit of anything. My family has no duckets anyway.

Please. There's no love in this home anymore, that's all I can say. Let me go with friends that do care about me.

Please. If you call yourself a friend, be there for me won't you? You know you guys can always count on me, so don't backstab me at the times when I need you guys the most. Way too much experience on that before.

Please.

I'd realized..

I can't do without the people called FRIENDS any longer.

***** In any case, I would like to give a big shout-out to Wanda and Lynette for giving me the advice I needed to knock some good old sense into me and for being there for me, knowing me well enough to know what to do to me to make me feel much better again. Respectively. Thanks :')

Now, back to the ye olde work that I had been working on since the hols started.

Be the mastermind of purely white lies to escape from this home called TRAGEDY.

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It’s not an English name I came up with for myself. My mother is indeed a genius in coming up with such a splendid name for me. Although my name has been unfortunately mutilated (nicknames are excluded) over the past years, full credits to my mum for my current identity.

I’m certainly looking forward to changing the word ‘patient’ to ‘survivor’! If you’re interested to read about my journey in battling lymphoma, you can click here to proceed to my cancer blog.

Ironic, I know; this blog is mainly pink instead. I like all colours actually, but I find myself having an affinity to the colour green. In fact, I can safely say that green is my soul colour.

Languages, music, fashion, photography, cultures, dance, literature, writing; just about anything, really. The arts truly intrigue me, especially thought-provoking pieces. Of course, the arts play a major role in inspiring me in my everyday life.

I don’t have a favourite genre – I read any book that interests me!

I am a trained right-hander from young, since apparently being left-handed is considered ‘wrong’. Basically, I’m ambidextrous! No wonder I find it easier to air guitar using my left hand than my right; I simply relate to the arts than subjects that deal with logical thinking better, too.

A stubborn Bull I am, too. I abhor being rushed. I prefer doing matters at my own reasonable pace. I don’t particularly like changes in my routine, but I can adapt quite easily. I’m a very practical person as well. I enjoy the beautiful things in life, but that doesn’t make me shun ugliness at all. Besides, it all depends on how one perceives beauty. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder!

Still am, but I’m slowly learning to accept imperfection into my life. Also, I’m doing my best to erase the many expectations I have so I could one day master the art of letting go and freeing myself to simple happiness and joy.

Compared to before, I’m less dramatic nowadays. Language-wise, I attempt to blog flawlessly in English and speak proper English online with my peers. Call me a Grammar Nazi all you want, but that’s how I roll. I only converse in perfect English in formal situations and during my dramatic outbursts. Otherwise, I’m absolutely capable of communicating like the average Malaysian!

It’s a different issue altogether when you’re forced to learn for the sake of getting good grades, though. Other than that, I’m open to new information and knowledge anytime! I especially would like to learn more languages and pick up new musical instruments.

…are just some of the things I would love to do in the near future, hopefully!

the basic rules apply. If you respect me, I’ll respect you. If you happen to be someone who has low EQ skills, I’ll try to be tolerant but my patience is definitely limited. I’m observant when it comes to human behaviour. I’m a person of many opinions, but I don’t voice them out unless I trust you enough; I’m very honest and candid when it comes to the people I can trust. Even though I trust very easily, not everybody can prove that they’re all that nice. Hurt me, and I’ll only defend myself if necessary. Hurt my family or my friends – you won’t find me holding back.

Is there anything else you would like to know about me?
Throw me your questions and/or doubts here! I honestly have nothing to hide, so you’ll expect the truth and nothing but the truth.

It’s only how I phrase my answers that you’ll have to be aware of.
Or…you can click hereto go back to reading!

A fine borderline between the two strongest emotions in the world - love and hate.

If I were to write a thesis on this very topic, this blog entry would never had been done.

The fact is, for me anyway, how these two emotions had been colliding in one human body - me.

Of course, we can't deny that hate is always too strong an emotion to describe something we usually call in a nicer way - dislike.

Anything, the point is, I'm not going to nag about the definitions of these two.

Still, my blog's there for me to rant, that's a sure thing.

*****Recently, stuff had been happening.

And here's the worst part, I can't write down the details here.

Though, maybe I could summarize it.

It's just amazing, over this past year, I had came upon this theory before, but it never did applied till now.

LOVE = HATE.

First up, I had finally got the guts to mingle with the la gente around me, getting out from restricting myself to my own company.

It does bring the consequences, of course.

To this certain person, I thought YOU were always there for me, you said so for yourself. I finally managed to live life as a normal teenager with you around. You taught me things I could had never had if you weren't there. You seemed so supportive of everything I did, maybe except for the really not so good issues that I did but had not been exposed yet. Especially my passion for photography. Self-expression through art. Though you didn't gave me any of the constructive criticism I wanted to improve, at least you gave one word opinions, and that was enough already for me, knowing that you will always be my backup that I can count on if there's bound to be any discrimination from the general eye. Knowing that you wouldn't go against me with a different way of self-expression compared to the rest of the acquaintances we know.

I was wrong.

You were the first to tell me something about my latest series that I did. Something that involves my principles of life. You had given me comments, real comments at least if I might say so myself, but it wasn't even problems like the quality of the photo or the lighting and the amount of noise.

You choose to tell me this very comment, which you thought was just your honest opinion, and that you were 110% positive on. You thought you were absolutely right, of everything from this matter to that, and you didn't even bother to think about what I would feel if you said it to me. Right to my face.

I was DEVASTATED. Disappointed.

I'd never thought you could had actually said that to me. To actually think that I am able to do such a thing. For a purpose that had never crossed my mind.

But you know what? You'd already did.

Thank goodness you can't be online right now, maybe you'll read this, maybe not.

I doubt you'll know it's you anyway.

It's just like you to be this one word - INSENSITIVE.

That is merely the first example of love turned hate (or dislike to those of you who can't accept the term hate in this blog post.)

Now, let me state an example of hate / dislike turned love.

As you all know, there's not only one kind of love we had experienced.

Friendship love, family love, love for pets, relationship love, you get the point.

For me, it's the start of a friendship. Finally.

YOU used to be very closely related to my life. Everything I did, you were there for me. But due to the fact that we always had a difference in opinions in almost everything, mindsets always clashed and crashed at this point.

And when the most major of all clashing and crashing happened, and got resolved in a nowhere near average peaceful method too, it went on to friendship at last.

Something that only the both of us can understand. Can get along with over the same interests. Due to the 1001 problems we used to fight and debate over with - verbally or physically. Hahah. Those days. Bring both sweet and bitter memories.

And now, I'm not ashamed at all to call you one of my closest friends. Best buddies. Fellow gamers. Fellow art appreciators.

We actually think alike. Too alike till everything went wrong before. Thankfully, we found out the perfect solution to solve this in a better way. And hopefully nothing like last time could occur anymore, for I can't afford to lose rare friendships like this once again.

Thanks for being there for me.

My family? Trust me, I can't wait to get out from the house at any moment of the day. So any invites to hang out with you people? Drop me a tag or text me, I'll cook up a nice recipe to paint a white lie to the 'rents and go out and have a taste of sweet, sweet freedom.

Please. If anything goes wrong, I'll be fully responsible for it. Don't need to expect a lawsuit of anything. My family has no duckets anyway.

Please. There's no love in this home anymore, that's all I can say. Let me go with friends that do care about me.

Please. If you call yourself a friend, be there for me won't you? You know you guys can always count on me, so don't backstab me at the times when I need you guys the most. Way too much experience on that before.

Please.

I'd realized..

I can't do without the people called FRIENDS any longer.

***** In any case, I would like to give a big shout-out to Wanda and Lynette for giving me the advice I needed to knock some good old sense into me and for being there for me, knowing me well enough to know what to do to me to make me feel much better again. Respectively. Thanks :')

Now, back to the ye olde work that I had been working on since the hols started.

Be the mastermind of purely white lies to escape from this home called TRAGEDY.

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